At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
Sister addicted to prescription pain pills, how do I save her kids
I was hoping that someone would be able to help me w/ getting some info... Is anyone familiar w/ the "marchment act"? my sister has had an opiate addiction for over 3 years now, my mother and I tried an intervention w/ her and was able to get her in to tx for detox. We now believe that she is using again and has been for quite a while. She has 2 children, one of them is 11 and decided to live with my mother for now but she also has a 3 yr old. She has been in several car accidents (none serious) over the past few months, in my opinion due to being so high that she can't keep her eyes open. I honestly believe that her children are in danger each day they are left in her care . I have made a report to DCF but because these pills are prescribed to her she is able to pass the tox screen. From what I hear the marchment act is our only option right now. Does anyone have any info on this or is there another approach we can to try? We are hoping to get something moving soon before she goes into a rage and takes her son away. Please help us we are desperate to help my neice and nephew, my sister is in complete denial and will not admit to using. What can we do??????
In Florida, the Marchman Act allows for a person to be involuntarily held for 72 hours much like the Baker Act. While the Baker Act is about mental illness, the Marchman Act is about substance abuse. There are specific requirements that need to be met in order to qualify for using it on a family memeber. These laws differ from state to state; some don't have provisions at all. You don't mention where you live so you may need to do a web search for your state.
A 72 hour hold is not much in the face of addiction and it sounds like you've already arranged for your sister to experience the three-day trip into detox. But so many people come out of detox and use immediately. The really hard thing your family is up against about your sister being helped is this --- if she is in the US, this is a country of rights. Addiction is considered an illness. So if she doesn't want to seek help, she can't be forced to beyond the 72 hour deal. From the legal standpoint, its rather like if she turned up with cancer and wanted to forgo chemo-therapy treatments, it would be well within her rights. This is why everyone says that for the alcoholic/addict they must want to seek help. They mean it.
What you can do is learn all you can about how to deal with an addicted family member and a great source for that is Narc-Anon or if your area doesn't have that, Al-Anon. They have been in your shoes and know what works and doesn't work.
Now about those kids, that is entirely a different story and if you can make a credible case for child neglect or endangerment with DCF, then they can remove the kids from her. But if your sister is jumping through all the right hoops for them, then the situation sadly may need to hit a lower bottom, as we say in the recovery industry. If I were you, I would have a long talk with someone at DCF about what it specifically takes and then do NOT hesitate to take action when you see it as profitable for providing protection for those kids.
I wish there was happier news I could give you, but know that so long as your sister is alive there is still hope she'll hit a bottom. If you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask them here. Thank you for posting.
Hi, soccermom,
Your previous answer is excellent.
There is one thing for sure:
Your sister will not stick with any kind of "getting off" drugs, until something really bad happens to her; being in denial is normal for drugs and alcohol abuse. Even with a disaster happening to her, it isn't always a guarantee that she will seek more help, and stick with it.
Another suggestion is Social Services. Do you have any local Social Services, or Child Services? If so, talk with them. They can also make suggestions, possibly do an investigation, reporting their findings to a Court.
This will take Court action to resolve. I do wish you the best, and good luck.
I have contacted (DCF) Dept Of Chldren and Families. The pretty much blew me off, they did do an invesagation but told her they were coming so she was able to prepare herself and home. They did a drug test but gave her 72 hours to do and not that it matters anyway because her problem is to "prescription" drugs so, if at the time of the test, she presented a prescption bottle w/ her name on the label and Dr's name, she would have tested positive for opiates but passed the screening because it is prescribed. I spoke w/ the DCF investagator and his supervisor, the supervisor told "WE CAN'T REMOVE EVERY CHILD FROM A HOME W/ PARENTS WHO USE DRUGS, THERE IS JUST NOWHERE TO PUT THEM ALL" I thought that was pretty heartless. I live in lee county Florida, we recently had a 13 year old little girl in the city that we live call in to DCF for help, she was being sexually abused by her step-father and begged to be removed from the home. A week later it came out in the news... after the little girl was raped and murdered by her step-dad, when she asked the worker to help her she said "sorry there is nothing we can do for you at this time." I just feel so helpless, even though my sister has been in rehab for her addiction there is nothing that can be done, w/ the new HIPPA laws in place nobody but my sister can get ahold of the records from the rehab to prove the addiction!! She's never going to tell the Dr's or DCF so now it's my word against hers, my hands are tied!!
What can I do to help her kids????
I know how frustrating it is - the inability for the system to protect when it should is pretty appaulling. Pray, if you are the prayerful type, and and make sure the children know you offer safe shelter to them. Remind them you are only one phone call away and that any pay phone can be used to make a collect call you will gladly accept. That is about all that can be done.
This is about getting hold of the records. If you can afford an attorney to fight for the children, the attorney can subpoena the records. Even with the HIPPA laws the records must be submitted if you are in a court proceeding.
You may want to check with a family law attorney to see if he/she can give you any recommendations.
thank you, I have already contacted an attorney, we have a family law attorney on retainer already, we have used him with previous family court matters (my husbands ex) I left a message on Friday but haven't heard anything back yet. That is the only bad thing w/ this guy he is hard to get a hold of but very good at what he does... I had already planned on having him or asking him to subpoena the records from the rehab and the records from the physcian that has been prescribing the meds... It's not the dr's fault, she didn't tell him, obviously because she didn't want to burn that bridge. I contacted that dr myself on Friday and told the nurse that she has an addiction to Opiates and has been to rehab for detox, but is still having this dr write scripts for her. The nurse said that she was going tobe sending a letter to my sister dismissing her from the practice.
Well, it sounds like I have already done everything I can, I just have to try agian to get a hold of our attorney... kinda dissapointing, I came to this site hoping that someone would know of another/faster way, It sounds like the Marchment Act is the ONLY way...
Thank you all for your advice.
I wish there was an easier faster way of people getting help. there are no short-cuts! I just have to say getting in touch with AL-ANON will help you to know what it is You will face and maybe how to deal with it! These are good people with the same problems you have. I wish you luck and please keep us posted.
Soccermom-I feel your pain. I too have a crack addicted sister and I am at my wits end to help the kids. CPS also failed, I have called three times and I got the same "parents being drug addict isn't against the law and if it were where would we put all the kids". It is such a horrendous situation and I have no answers. I am in GA, she is in MD so unless I hire a PI I can't get the evidence needed to report her and get an investigation started. Mean while the kids are the ones suffering. Just so you know, you are not alone, I share the pain. If I get any concrete info on how to get the kids away I will let you know. God bless and pray for the kids. Sue
Thank you so much.. I had chills reading your post, I don't know why but for some reason it does help to know that I am not alone!! It is extremely frustrating knowing that there is nothing I/we can do!! My sister has been battling the addiction to pain pills for 3 and half years. It all started after her daughter was born ill (due to my sister having Diabetes). My niece had to be dilivered 4 weeks early because my sister was becoming more ill, they felt that if they didn't deliver it would be harmful to both of them. My niece had to stay in NICU for 4 weeks, so my sister became very depressed!! She says that's when she discovered the "high" from pain pills (prescription given after birth, for cramps and pain from Tubal). She started to abuse them and went down hill from there. My nephew, 8 at the time, was basically left responsible for feeding himself and taking care of his sister because by the time my niece had come home all my sister wanted to do was get high, then when she didn't have any pills she wouldn't/couldn't get out of bed. I offerd my sister anything and everything I was able, I made call after call, found a support group, I even went w/ her to the meeting so that she woudn't feel uncomfortable. She only went to a couple of meetings then decided "they weren't for her" all the meetings did was make her think about pills and want them even more. My mother and I finally had an intervention and talked her in to going to rehab voluntarily rather than us getting a court order and doing the admission ourselves. I think that was a mistake, if I could do it over I would not have talked to her first, if we had gotten a court order we would have custody over her and her kids while she was ordered by a judge to attend rehab and NA w/ random tox screens. Ohh well, like they say.. hind sight is always 20/20.
I wish you lots of luck and strength!! The hardest thing for me is to not let it consume my life, unfortunately I have not had much luck w/ that... still working on it.
Again good luck to you, I hope your sister is able to find the inner strength and ability to get threw this.
Carri
Linear Mode
