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My husband is an alcholic. We do not hide the fact or are we ashamed of the fact. It is a disease that can not be cured but can be controlled. Just like a diabetic. It is a disease that can not be cured but controlled and no one is ashamed of it or hides it. Why then do the professionals think all alcoholics are hiding their drinking, hiding behoind a mask, and should be ashamed that they have a disease? Does anyone out there think this wrong like I do?
The truth is some people do hide their drinking, thats a fact. Many drink, because of bad events in their lives, and drink to cope with their situation. Those are fact, neither right nor wrong, but the alchoholic that deals with his disease, in a responsible, positive way, neither hides it, or is ashamed of it.
I do know a lot hide their drinking. But it is a disease which a lot of people are ashamed of. The alcohol in a "normal" person breaks down one way and in the alcoholics brain it breaks down differently. I am a RN but I am tired of of those who treat the disease trying to pigeon hole all addicts into the same mold when they are each an idvidual with indivual needs. Perhaps if they weren't all battered into being ashamed more of them could deal with their disease in a positive way.
I know a lot of people do hide it because they feel ashamed and/or don't want people to know how controlled they are by their desire to drink. But I think your husband's approach of being open and up front about it is much healthier. He has a much better chance of staying sober because he understands that he can't drink again and treats it as a disease. Good for him and for you for supporting him!
So how can I help others to view alcoholism as a disease and that it should be treated as such and to help them understand they do not need to be ashamed. And thanks to both poeple who have written so far.
AA and the rehabilitaion inpatient he went to both teach them that they are ashamed, hide behind masks, are depressed etc. which is not true of everyone. The inpatient hall had no idea how to treat him. They tried to brow beat him into admitting untrue things and when I backed up his truths his counselor they still continued to brow beat him and tell him how bad he was and that he was hiding his drinking, and hiding at home. All of which is not true. His first drink was at the age of 3. Its been a part of his life all his life. He is happy go lucky. He wanted to stop drinking so we took him the the rehab to make sure he did it with 24 hour nursing care. When it came to the counselor he brow beat him and even assured him what my husband told him with stay between them but the counselor told other people about what was said in confidence. My husband asked for another couselor that he could trust and the fellowship hall would not change his counselor. They said they don't do that. But wouldn't common sense tell you that if you don't trust the counselor change counselors to one you can trust?
Those that wish to stop can, it is hard but while I feel sorry for the alcoholic I feel even more sorry for thier family. And most should be ashamed of what they do, how they lived and the sorrow they bought to thier family.
Sorry but this post makes it sound like they are proud of this and addictions are bought on by the person, not to be confused with some thing they are not in control of.
So how can I help others to view alcoholism as a disease and that it should be treated as such and to help them understand they do not need to be ashamed. And thanks to both poeple who have written so far.
AA and the rehabilitaion inpatient he went to both teach them that they are ashamed, hide behind masks, are depressed etc. which is not true of everyone. The inpatient hall had no idea how to treat him. They tried to brow beat him into admitting untrue things and when I backed up his truths his counselor they still continued to brow beat him and tell him how bad he was and that he was hiding his drinking, and hiding at home. All of which is not true. His first drink was at the age of 3. Its been a part of his life all his life. He is happy go lucky. He wanted to stop drinking so we took him the the rehab to make sure he did it with 24 hour nursing care. When it came to the counselor he brow beat him and even assured him what my husband told him with stay between them but the counselor told other people about what was said in confidence. My husband asked for another couselor that he could trust and the fellowship hall would not change his counselor. They said they don't do that. But wouldn't common sense tell you that if you don't trust the counselor change counselors to one you can trust?
Do you go to Al-Anon? You sound very over involved in his care and hooking into the alcoholic "everyone is against me" drama.
I don't know what "tried to browbeat" means.
It seems like more of the alcoholic family drama. Us against the world.
It can't BE the entire world. I think that you should worry about your own recovery and let him worry about his. Go to Al-Anon, go to Codependents Anonymous. Detach with love and work on yourself.
The shame comes in the things that alcoholic, and addict do in the addiction, and sets in motion even more of the same until they seek help, and heed it. Yes the can get help, but they have to really want it. Many who do not understand, don't know what they're talking about, and have no sympathy, but its not about them. Its about the person, and if they have had enough misery, and pain.
I am proud of my husband. His addiction to alcohol is a disease. Most people can not wait to get drunk. But that is ok. If they have a disease associated with it the world thinks they should be embarrassed. I guess every disease people have that is not curable only treatable the people should be embarrassed that their gene line gave them the disease. It really amazes me at how ignorant people can be. I guess if I take care of a diabetic that blood sugars are out of control I should tell them they can quit eating whenever they want and they should be ashamed of themselves. Its the same difference.
While I like your passion, your sounding a little to judgemental, to be trying to deliver a message, almost like those religious zealots, who shout my way only, and everyone else is wrong. You don't have to brow beat anyone, that makes you look like the very ones you complain about.
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