Devoloping An Addiction

xHypoCondriacx · #1 Nov 17, 2006, 09:27 AM

About maybe 4 months ago i stopped smoking weed and i was doing really good.
Job hunting and everything. Started going to a commuinity college and keeping myself busy.

Then 4 months later *now* bout maybe 4 weeks ago.. I started going to this guys house accross the street and there all tweakers they do meth all day..

And occasionally i had trouble with this girl so i went over there and said

"lemme get a hit man" i need it!

i cant deal with this ****

and since then.. bout every friday i been hitting meth,

and i dont buy it.. or do it everyday..

i just notice i have been doing it alot..

every friday is bad enough for me..

im so ashamed of myself and i feel so bad about letting my parents down..
my confidence was so high and it all just seems like it fell apart..

and i feel like a loser a nobody, and i know im destroying myself..

i dont want it now... i

did it last nite also.. and it was a thrusday..

but i know im devoloping an addiction

it gets me so mad cause i quit weed to only start slowly on another addiction a worster addiction..

i wanted to hear what anybody who has a heart has to say bout this..

and maybe share any bad experiences u know of bout this drug..

im a really nice person and i know i can change and stop this non sense which is why im here

and i dont want a rehab i belive i can do it out here..

it is just kind of hard when the guy lives accross the dang street

any help?

Sentra · Nov 17, 2006, 09:36 AM

Its great that you recognize how harmful this can become, and thats great to see and good of you in wishing to protect yourself further. You have many choices to make, and I hope you make the right ones.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 17, 2006, 09:55 AM

They say in Recoveryland-- iffen ya hang out in the barbershop long enough, you're gonna be getting a haircut, like it or not. LOL

They also say cross addicting is like switching seats on the Titanic.

You are going to have to ask yourself-- which do you want more? Drugs (suffering and death) or recovery (life, sometimes hard, sometimes easy). It has absolutely NOTHING to do with what lives across the street, next door, in your house or in your bed. It has to do with what's in your head. If you want to lie* to yourself, that's your choice. No one in NA is going to be polevaulting over any of your bull to save you and that is a fact.

Welcome to reality. Any questions?

* just to keep this in perspective I saw no less than seven lies in your statements.

Thomas1970 · Nov 17, 2006, 10:21 AM

I totally agree with Val, and all the previous posts. And certainly nobody is saying anything to sound at all mean in any way. We are all here to support you in any way we can over the net. But there is a saying in the Tao Te Ching -- which people are probably aware by now, that I am very fond of quoting -- that says, "Kindness is cruelty, cruelty is kindness." As Val very kindly pointed out, the reality may be harsh, but life doesn't always give you many chances to save your own life. There are numerous people who are out there and on here to support you, but first you have to decide that you really want to live -- to your fullest potential.
You are most certainly worth it, as is life.

xHypoCondriacx · Nov 17, 2006, 12:45 PM

I appereciate all your help and all your opinions.

But i belive iam a very strong person there are just times when i feel like i dont wanna deal with it anymore and i tend to abuse myself to make the matter worste

And its later on that i sit back and regret what i done.

Im happy that im still at the point where iam now to where im able to think clearly and think alittle positive.. and for the record im on meth as we speak.. im going to sleep soon last nite was a nite mare..

i need the recovering and i have nvr been a meth user i always hated it. and a meth addict told me...

"this is not something u want to do" u wanna keep the good head on your shoulders that u got now? then dont do it.. take it from me.. otherwise ull be like all of us here doing nothing everyday just destroying ourselfs.

anyways..
u will all disagree with me when i say this but..

i have this deep big feeling that.. i will not do it again..
starting monday ill be at school.. and im gonna try look for a job again too..

i been working out alittle bit.. drinking alot of water trying to make myself healthy or atleast better then the position my body is in now..

i quit weed to make a better me.. to improve my confidence to improve my athletic status.

i have a girlfriend who loves me. and if she knew what i was doing she would kill me

and i wish that sometimes but i suppose life is always much better then death.

im in the process of learning to realize that.. although this past month i have intoxicated myself with the devils poison

i stand here to say I WILL NOT DO THIS DRUG AGAIN.. I NEEDED UR CRUELNESS I NEEDED TO SEE THE DARKSIDE I NEEDED TO FEEL SAD.. SO IN THE END BEFORE ITS TO LATE I CAN FEEL THAT FEELING OF NATURAL HAPPINESS AGAIN .. THE FEELING OF JOY..NO DRUG IN THE WORLD CAN BRING THAT.

i hope ur all with me and take my word for it. i will continue to update this topic everyday i feel the need to get high off anything.. in hopes of hearing some of u snap me back to reality..

although im 19 and still kind of smart.. and in the process of educating myself..

i want a change so badly i would do anything for it.

i want to get out of this place this city. i hate it. but it will only make me stronger to deal with this.

so i suppose throw what ya can at me god.. cause i deserve it.. especially if ur going to help me get thru this pre-addiction.

if i was trully 100% addicted i think i would be doing it everyday..

but i personally think since im such a paranoid person it kind of limits myself to no do that! its to soon.. better yet im going to try dont do that "EVER"

ty all [= take care

Thomas1970 · Nov 17, 2006, 12:55 PM

Hi Hypo,
We're certainly all here for you, and want the best for you. Just keep on trying, one day at a time -- one minute at a time if necessary. Focus on your studies and your relationship. You have someone special in your life that loves you, not everyone has that. You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you.
We'll be here. Take care.

valinors_sorrow · Nov 17, 2006, 01:05 PM

I hope your way works, Hypo. I mean that. Although I have not seen it work that way, who am I to say it can't--miracles do happen. If it doesn't work your way and you are still seriously interested in seeking recovery, I'll be right here. I know of a way that works -- you only need ask. Good luck.

xHypoCondriacx · Nov 18, 2006, 01:42 AM

Thank You all once again.. I slept and woke up and i feel normal again.. i ate.. and relaxed alittle bit.. and well.. what more can i say then.. today is the day it begins.. and my faith is so high in this.. [=

i know i will do better and not mess with drugs gin.,

ty all [= and take care.

wanger · Nov 24, 2006, 04:35 AM

You need to stop now while you can. I think it is great that you stopped smoking weed, but you have gone from bad to worse. Pot won't kill you, meth will. I have heard different people talk about that stuff and from what I have heard it not only messes with your body, but your mind as well. You might as well be doing heroin. Get off that S**T while you can.



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!