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The death of a lady I never knew seems to have brought me here, and I hope I will be able to thank her some day.
I have, for some years now, had an alcohol problem. I have considered it just a habit - NOT full alcoholism - but I'm not so sure, now. I need to drink EVERY night before I can sleep. When I wake up, I'm OK - although I guess I could feel better - I don't exactly spring out of bed the next morning !!!
But I do NOT need to have a drink first thing, or at any time during the day - in fact, I really do NOT want a drink during the day. I don't get the shakes if I don't get a drink. I just CANNOT go to bed sober. I am admitting that this is a problem. It's a habit, I guess - but is it alcoholism yet ?
Even if there's no clear answer to that, I guess I'm really saying this, aren't I ? "I have an alcohol problem, and I am NOT in denial of that. I want to get out of the habit of drinking 7 nights a week, before I become fully alcoholic. I want to be able to drink socially at weekends, without having to TOTALLY abstain. I want to be able to do this BEFORE it is too late.
I have scanned through the forum listings and not found a thread for this particular problem, yet I'm sure it must affect many of us. I AM AWARE that constant drinking without detoxing can cause liver and/or kidney damage, and I AM AWARE that we often do not feel this damage being done until it is too late.
I NEED to get a handle on this, before it gets its' teeth into me any deeper. NOW is the time - BEFORE I become alcoholic....or am I already ?
I DON'T need anybody to tell me "Just stop drinking - it's as simple as that." It ain't - and anybody who thinks it is has probably never truly walked in the shoes of those they think they are helping.
Oh - and thanx for the comment on the avatar, NH !! Friend has seen the original, which was perhaps a little offensive (No rose - just a finger !!! ) We juggled with chopping his digit off (which upset the laydeez ! ), or a 'suspiciously large' cigarette , or the rose. I went for the safest option - a much nicer gesture !!! I could have got him to brandish a banana, perhaps, but that might have upset the laydeez even more !!!
Yep, as promised, Friend I got my privileges !! Perhaps I now ought to go back and give some posts some rep !!
FWIW, I have 'come out' about my problem in my other regular forum site in the UK, and received encouragement for that. I may start a thread there charting my progress, and offering help where I can.
...and, hey !!! Get that beer truck outta here !!! It's tough enough, already !!
Yeah, I can identify with that. I think if I was in a bit of trouble, I'd hope that the beer truck arrived before the ambo. That's REAL 'first aid' - the hospital treatment can wait 'til later !!!
And it IS a nice piece of text/artwork, I reckon, too.
Yeah bananas and cigarettes are offensive to the politically correct. I remember there was a rally a few years back and someone gave out bananas and people said it was offensive--go figure!
Friend that truck is a great reminder of recless and the pizza party......so NOPE no getting rid of it!
I wonder if recless will post back again???
***the beer truck arrived before the ambo. That's REAL 'first aid' - the hospital treatment can wait 'til later !!!
Reminds me of the bar across the street from Allegheny General Hospital ----> The Recovery Room Bar and Grill.
I think I'd get shot if I got rid of it though , most of the peeps rely on me turning up in times of need
Hey, I'm in recovery, and the truck doesn't bother me one bit. My sobriety is not THAT delicate as to get antsy when I see your truck. It just reminds me how much $ I spent on booze, because I'm sure I bought several of those beer trucks over the years. And those A.B. horses too. When I quit drinking, they started getting skinny.
And the gorilla's digit doesn't offend me either. His facial expression says it all. But the bananas are a different story.........????????????? Some people!
Bill, I hope things become more clear to you. AA will help you with that.
My life now is going really well. It's "good morning GOD " instead of " good GOD, it's morning" now.
It has been good to share a joke, as well as get serious with you guys. Let's face it, I KNOW I'm gonna need a sense of humour here, now. I drive a taxi - on the night shifts - at weekends. A driving licence is a useful qualification, but a sense of humour is essential for the job !!!
OK - drunks are funny looking from the outside in. I'm gonna start looking from the inside out - and I am gonna need to understand that humour !!!
I'm sure clarity will come as time goes by, JMJ - but I sure do look forward to the day when I once again throw open the curtains, enjoy the sunny vista with unflinching eyes, and cry "Good Morning, GOD !!!"
....and MayfairLady. Thank you for your encouragement in an earlier post here - much appreciated.
), or a 'suspiciously large' cigarette 
, or the rose. I went for the safest option - a much nicer gesture !!! I could have got him to brandish a banana, perhaps, but that might have upset the laydeez even more !!! 
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