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priscilla2006 · Jan 17, 2006, 12:23 AM

My friends wife left him but then decided she wanted him back. He had already started seeing someone after she left. She is now trying to kill herself and threatening the girlfriend. He says that he loves the new girlfriend. Should he keep seeing the girlfriend or wait till the divorce to start seeing her?:confused:

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 03:46 AM

Originally Posted by priscilla2006

My friends wife left him but then decided she wanted him back. He had already started seeing someone after she left. She is now trying to kill herself and threatening the girlfriend. He says that he loves the new girlfriend. Should he keep seeing the girlfriend or wait till the divorce to start seeing her?:confused:

There is no reason why he should not see his new girlfriend. His wife left him and he made a decision to get on with his ife. So in all fairness they are separated.

The wife sounds like she needs professional help - counseling of some kind. It woud appear she does not know what she wants and is unable to cope. It could be that he is a safe option for her, which is why she wants him back. The wife needs ots of help & support - but that is not a reason for him to leave his new girfriend.

fredg · Jan 17, 2006, 06:12 AM

Hi,
Your friend should continue seeing his girlfriend, and she might want to take out a "restraining order" against his wife.
As another said, the wife needs help, hopefully Professional help, if this is not just something being said in anger, hoping to get your friend back in the marriage.
I do hope your friend and his wife sought out Professional Marriage Counseling together, in hopes of working out the marriage.
But, if not done, then your friend, if he is thinking of filing a "separation agreement", should keep on seeing his girlfriend. The Separation Agreement would make it all completely legal in heading for Divorce Papers.
I do wish him the best.

NeedKarma · Jan 17, 2006, 06:18 AM

I certainly would not recommend counselling to reunite a couple where one party has (a) left the marriage (b) threatened to kill herself (c) threaten the partner's choice of mate. I would not want to be married to someone who has those tendencies.

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by NeedKarma

I certainly would not recommend counselling to reunite a couple where one party has (a) left the marriage (b) threatened to kill herself (c) threaten the partner's choice of mate. I would not want to be married to someone who has those tendencies.

Quite agree.

priscilla2006 · Jan 17, 2006, 06:23 AM

I just wanted to say thanks to all those who replied.

DJ 'H' · Jan 17, 2006, 06:25 AM

Originally Posted by priscilla2006

i just wanted to say thanks to all those who replied.

No worries. It's what we are here for :) I hope we helped.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 17, 2006, 06:36 AM

WELLLLLLLL

Ok the preacher in me has to say that the couple should and can remain friends, but should not be sexually active until the divorce is final.

Next yes they should try to get a order of protection since there was a threat made.

Now no way to make her, but if the one person it making threats and talking sucicide she needs to get help to get over this situation.
It is sort of something that happens a lot, just not to this degreee. She don't really want him, but then does not want anyone else to have him either, this can last for years , and she can try to destroy his new relationships for years, driven by many emotions that all turn to hate down the road.

CaptainForest · Jan 17, 2006, 01:07 PM

He should stay with his current girlfriend.