[Scaredandfrustr]

I just found out in June that my husband of 9years spends an average of 2300 per month on scratch offs! He blows up when I try to get him to talk about it and denies it. He is retiring in October and will be cashing out his retirement to build us a retirement home and investing with a home builder friend. I am alarmed at the amount of money he spends on scratch offs and am worried about our future. Any advice on this subject? The progression? He pays all his bills, but my thought is why not save at least 3/4 of that money? Still plenty for "recreation " I just don't want to live under a bridge! Thank goodness I have a business and could support myself. But I was so looking forward to retirement together!

[ma0641]

How much does he win? With that many he has to have some hits. I play an occasional scratch off and hit about 40% of the time, sometimes a lot more than the $ 1 or 2.

[Oliver2011]

Maybe set up a time whereas you two will discuss limiting the number of scratch offs to something reasonable. Although from an outsider looking in it sounds like he's developing an addiction so buying one would be feeding his addiction.

"investing with a home builder friend" - I do hope you are going to have a contract with the friend. A contract will define exactly what you expect the friend to deliver and will protect both parties.

[joypulv]

At his age (assuming typical retirement) and factoring in your marriage with him (9 years), I'm going to advise that you leave him alone.
There are no children to raise, and you each have good incomes?


OR, if this anguishes you too much, tell him you are thinking about wanting out of the marriage. That's not unreasonable, if your time together is going to include concerns about finances.
If he still balks, he cares more about that kind of gambling than saving his marriage. The decision is yours.
I think it would bother me too.

[talaniman]

Cover Your Own A$$! It's a big red flag that he could have such an expensive "hobby" with out you knowing about it, and he supports himself fairly well, so what are you worried about? He has enough retirement money saved to build a house with so what's the big deal? Does he ask you for money? Are you helping him build this house? Will it be half yours? Does he nag you about what you do with your money?

By the way the biggest red flag is you can't talk about it, and presume to tell him what he should be doing with what he has obviously earned without you? Since you really don't know how long he has been spending this kind of money on scratch offs, or what he makes off of them, (Could be enough to retire off of and build a nice house, and be very comfortable for all you know!) then maybe you should sock away a little extra for yourself just in case.

Yep, I see separate bank accounts in your future, and suspect it's that way now, so best keep it that way... JUST IN CASE. You can still retire happily together just don't be dumb about it (Just in case).

CYOA!