Difficulty in starting writing my Ph.D. Thesis

Hi,

Thank you so much. Yes, she is also high-functioning. She will turn three next month. She knows many words and has started to talk a little bit. Still cannot talk about the past and mostly lables things and just says sentences like, I want this or that, please. She knew the alphabet since she was about 2. Knows the shapes and can count. Not just saying the numbers, can actually count objects. She had good fine motor skills. BUT she does not like other children. She feels very uncomfortable around kids, especially if they are younger than she is or almost the same age as her. She cannot jump, she still deos not know how to kiss. But she gives hi five and hugges me very well. Fortunately, she goes to daycare and we are supported by the services here. But she is on waiting list for speech therapy and I believe if she speaks well most of her communication problems will be solved. We try to help her speak by reading to her and waiting for her to complete sentences of a book or by talking about a show she is watching. I use every opportunity. I just some times feel very sad. I ask myself why? I feel worried about her future. Will she fall in love, will she get married and have children and live a normal life? She is such a sweet girl.

Your daughter could be hyperlexic.

My son figured out how to decode language before he was two and has been an avid reader since then. He has a flawless memory, so I keep him close by when I do trivia or crossword puzzles or watch Jeopardy. He is visual, so it has always worked best if he sees instructions in print, not just hears them. Socially, he has come a long way, and will start conversations and will sit and chat. As a child, he preferred to be alone.

I have never labeled him or gotten him labeled as autistic, since he has gotten along in the world fairly well. He recently asked me after reading something about autism, "Mom, am I autistic?" "Yes, you are," I answered. "Is that bad?" he wondered. "No. Your brain is just wired differently from most people's, but you have learned how to compensate for that." Then we talked about how he has learned to manage. For instance, he cannot tell time on an analog clock, but he can on a digital one. He has a credit card which he uses carefully, and keeps his checkbook in perfect order. He may never drive because of all the traffic and other stimuli (judgment is a big problem), but he loves to walk and will walk anywhere he wants to go or hitch a ride with a friend (and yes, he has a couple of them now).

Will he marry someday? Maybe. His wife will be a lucky girl since he is a sweet-natured person who has matured nicely. He does simple cooking and is an excellent housecleaner!

Here is a site that might answer some of your questions:

American Hyperlexia Association

It is interesting ... I had not heard about Hyperlexia, it seems that she is more likely to have that rather than autism. She has a flawless memory too and a very good ear for music. We have not labled her as autistic either. We have not told anyone that she was diagnoised autistic, because she does not show it that seriously and we do not want others to lable her. I think like your son, she is also smart enought to compensate for it. Thank you for your words it makes me feel better. I do not know anyone with autism who is grown up and actually I had not heard about it until my dauther's pediatrition told us about it. Knowing that your son is doing great, makes me feel better. My daughter likes to read too. She can spell her name and Elmo and even writes her initials. You know I myself did not have many close friends either, and it was sifficult for me or still it is difficult to start a conversation and keep on talking face to face. I am better when writing. I also learn thing better when they are thought visually and I always learnt better in the class than reading a text book. However, my memory sucks I mean maybe she is like me ... I learnt to be affectionate later when I grow up and got some close friends. I even got married, I still cannot drive, because I always have the fear to run over someone, and I feel I get dizzy when in a crowd. You are a very knowledgable person, I hope I can be a good mother for my daughter like you were for your son.

Hyperlexia is a form of autism. Asperger's is another form (http://www.aspergers.com/). I just got a story published in an Autism-Asperger's magazine; the story is based on an experience I had with one of my library volunteers who has Asperger's. Read as much as you can about about autism and its various forms and ways to help your daughter. I'm here if you need me.

Be sure to open your daughter's world and allow her to experience it, but don't force her to do things she doesn't want to do. My friends used to tell me to force my son to attend classmates' birthday parties and other social events. If he said no, I didn't force him. Now, I'm glad I didn't. He figured out the world and people in his own way, mostly by writing stories and poems about them.

Having a cat who loves him unconditionally has really taught him empathy and sympathy. The cat is always with him, and doesn't want to hang out with anyone else. He's very proud of that and feels very special because of it. Because of his cat, he has learned how people have various emotions and how they express them.

Another thought -- Life and learning are not black or white. There is always another way to get to where you want to go. Be creative and a problem-solver! Teach your daughter not to give in, but to always look for another way to do something: "Hmmm, this isn't working. What else could I do?"

Thank you again. My daughter loves dogs. Maybe I should get her a puppy, but we are not used to having pet at home. I try to get more and more information. We try not to put her in a situation that she does not like. It is interesting that although she is so small, she finds the way to avoid a situation she does not like. We have a frined who has a one and a a half year old daughter and whever they come to visit, She goes to bed early! Can I have a copy of your article, please?

Thank you again.

Then start small, with one or two easy-to-keep small pets such as a couple of chameleons in a terrarium or a hamster. (Gerbils run too fast, and mice pee wherever they go.) The chameleons would be quiet, but would have to be fed. You and your daughter could plan the terrarium and then she could watch them through the glass. Your library has books about chameleons as pets, plus there is probably a wealth of information available online. A hamster might be fun, in a nice cage with an exercise wheel. Read up on hamsters before you buy one. I like hamsters because they use one corner of their cage or terrarium as their bathroom, so it's easy to clean up after them. They like to fill their cheeks with food, and will shred cardboard rolls or empty pudding boxes in order to make their nest. They sleep a lot but are fun to watch.

I will send it to you privately. It is mostly a true story.

I will send it to you privately. It is mostly a true story.[/quote]

Thank you. Cannot wait to read it.