I thought I should clarify that there are two ex's. His ex wife who I have no real problem with, and in fact I like her, and the woman he fell in love with after he was divorced, who he really wanted to give his all to, who was violent and cheated on him. Plus she tried to extract his property from him through a separation settlement after being together on and off for two years. Hence his extreme caution to do with women in general.
I let him know today that I didn't know what was meant by him not phoning and he explained that he feels fine about us, but that he really can't stand speaking on the phone much, as he usually only has long conversations to talk about problems. Plus he feels our relationship has been through that phase where talking a lot on the phone was part of getting to know each other. Hmm... I've told him that my needs are fairly basic, and that at least a five minute call with reassuring words is needed to make me feel appreciated.
As he has been so good to me in a lot of different ways, I feel I should cut him a little slack at this time. He mostly thrives on taking the lead and solving problems for people he cares about, but sometimes he can feel drained with so many people counting on him.
However, I do feel somewhat buffeted around by his moods and whims and I'm glad to be reminded to hold him accountable. I'd like the chance to be relaxed and secure enough for a while to discover what I really want out of our relationship. I know for sure that if I ever lived with someone again, I would like my own room, which going slow in our relationship has shown me. So I'm also glad that he's had enough maturity to have wanted to go carefully as well.
Relationships get messy, hey