I have been involved with two men on and off for the past year. The first one was my first love went out for many years lived together etc. until one day I started having doubts about the whole relationship and thought I was too young to make such a huge commitment to someone. I went overseas for a month and when I came back everything was different, I ended up meeting this new guy.

With this guy from the very beginning the attraction was HUGE I have never felt this way about anyone. So I broke up with boyfriend no one and started going out with this one. Everything would have been perfect but our relationship became very volatile quite quickly and we kept breaking up. During off times would be confused and still see boyfriend no 1.. But I kept trying to make it work with boyfriend no2 but it seemed no matter what we did we would still end up fighting and it wouldn't work. I couldn't see why we couldn't make it work though but I guess its because he never really loved me so we ended things for good. But we still keep in touch.

Now I am back with my boyfriend no one and am determined to make it work with him. However I found out last week that he actually cheated on while we were going out (karma I know) but I was still so shocked and can't believe he would do this especially after begging me to get back together.Even though I am trying to make it work with him because I know he is the better choice for me I still keep thinking about the other guy constantly and am completely in love with him!

Why am I doing this to myself? Is it only because boyfriend no2 seems so unavailable that I want him so bad?He says he is not ready for a relationship so I have given up on him although we still talk and I think he has feelings for me somwhat although sometimes I'm not sure anymore. They both know about each other bdw.

So what do I do? Try and make it work with boyfriend no one? Or wait for boyfriend no2 to hopefully come to his senses?

Please help!! :(

I think you should try being alone for awhile. Figure out what makes you tick. Get away from all the emotional confusion and focus on you, instead of which guy will make you happier. As "unpopular" as it may be at this day and age, being single for awhile isn't so bad. Its sad that BF 1 took you back after what you did to him, but if you explain to him that the both of you could really benefit from being single for awhile (he won't get it at all at first) he'll eventually realize that it's the right thing to do.

As for BF 2, you tried, it didn't work. You tried again, didn't work. If perhaps you would have used your head a little more from the beginning of all this, before you broke up with BF 1. I think all this confusion could have been avoided.

I think you are a young confused female that always seems ruin things inadvertently for us good guys out there. Not because you want to, just because you're selfish and confused. Obviously BF 1 doesn't value himself enough as an individual to take back someone who left him for someone else. So I think he needs that time alone too, to learn to love himself better, and learn to let go. As should yourself.

I wonder who you ended up choosing back in 2008?
I'm in a similar situation and am finding myself question what I want and I don't know if it's easier just to give them both up and walk away.