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    PinkyPoshe04's Avatar
    PinkyPoshe04 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 9, 2008, 10:18 AM
    He says he loves me, but doesn't know why?
    Hello! I have been dating this guy for almost two years now. We had a conversation last night and he told me that "He loves me, but doesn't know why. That it is just something about me". I don't know how to take this. :confused: I also asked him if he was in love with me and he didn't answer that question, he went on to say that he does love me. I have noticed things like, he no longer takes calls in front of me, and has started breaking dates. He calls me everyday and texts me and says that he loves and misses me. There are a lot of little things that has changed with him, but he denies it.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #2

    Jan 9, 2008, 11:02 AM
    People do change hopefully its for the better. However, you are saying that he is not taking certain phone calls in front of you. This is a warning sign that there is something he is hiding from you. The fact that you mentioned mean that you are uncomfortable about this and I don't blame you.

    Address it and you are acting like you don't trust him and you are insecure. Don't address and your just stupid.

    My advice to you is ask questions, ask to see his phone if he gets defensive then you know something is up and call the relationship a wrap. You don't even have to be sneaky about it. You been with him for 2 years you should know all his friends and they should know you.

    My wife when she was my girlfriend could answer my phone and I hers. You should be able to question him about anything. When you are honest and true questions don't shake the foundation.

    His job as your man is to make what is insecurities, secure. Make your feel safe physically and emotionally.
    PinkyPoshe04's Avatar
    PinkyPoshe04 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 9, 2008, 12:45 PM
    I asked him what he meant, and it seemed as if he avoided saying that he was still in love with me, but stated that he loved me and I misunderstood him. I truly adore him, but I want to be with someone that is in love with me. Is that selfish? Should I not make waves and be happy with him just loving me. I feel like there is someone else, but when I ask him he always denies it, and says that I am the only one he wants, and that he loves me so much he would give his life for me. While this statement has made me happy, I still can't ignore some of his changes. Like you said Marriedguy, "I should feel secure", and I don't. I sometimes honestly thinks that this just a sexual relationship, and that he only tells me these things to assure that I stick around.
    PinkyPoshe04's Avatar
    PinkyPoshe04 Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 9, 2008, 12:54 PM
    When I asked him about the phone calls. Wait! Let me take you there! I was with him one day, and a co-worker of his (female) came running up to his truck smiling. She did not see me at first, but he leaned out of the window and motioned her to where she didn't talk. She waved to me and left. As we drove off, his phone immediately rang. It was her! He stayed on the phone with her for about 45 minutes. I was extremely upset and hurt, but did not say anything until weeks later. He claims he does not remember the incident and proceeded to apologize. I did not say anything then because I didn't want him to think I was jealous. It was not that, I was hurt because I am with him and he chose to talk to some other woman for 45 minutes. Was I wrong?I felt like I was not important and she was. But! Where the real problem lies is that, he doesn't want me talking to male friends on the phone PERIOD! Whether I am with him or not. Is this a control issue?
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #5

    Jan 19, 2008, 09:10 AM
    Sorry I took so long to get back to you. But you are seeing all the signs and ignoring them because you are afraid to start over. No, its not selfish to want to be happy. The selflish person in the relationship is this dude. The sole purpose of the relationship is to be happy is it not? No one says I want to find someone, settle down and be unhappy.

    Many women are putting their own happiness on the back burner for some dude. This why when the relationship ends there is so much pain. Its is not what you can do for him its what you two can do for each other. Stop wasting your valuable time with this loser, you are passing up many opportunities to find some one that will love and appreciate you.

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