Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
    Ultra Member
     
    #21

    Sep 12, 2007, 02:06 PM
    Dunebunny, what she was doing was a manipulation technique. She is attempting to control a situation (group of friends) in which she has no control. She is a very domineering woman who is used to being the center of attention, and does not understand how to sit back, relax, and just be a participant. I am sure she views it as everyone just not allowing a newcomer into their tightknit little group because she is incapable of comprehending that it is her personality and her actions that is a turnoff. I was tempted to write this earlier but I didn't -- I suspect that her marriage will end when she leaves her husband for another man. I do feel sorry for his son. Someone needs to step up and give that guy an earful about allowing his son to be so mistreated. But, if he can't see it now, he probably never will.
    Dunebunny's Avatar
    Dunebunny Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #22

    Sep 12, 2007, 03:16 PM
    No... I think he sees it but he's so blinded by this woman he lets it go. And, no... he probably won't leave... but I can't see her leaving either. As long as he continues to let her have her way then things will probably remain the same.

    I know if it were me I would be second guessing my relationship. I'm not a parent but if I was, I wouldn't let someone treat my son like she treats him. She's not physically abusive... it's all verbal... naggy and angry.

    Her own kids don't come around. Once in a while I would hear her talk about her daughter... that she came by but never that they went out and did mother/daughter things. And her son... never. I think he lives with his Dad or something.

    Her kids are both in their 20's and she probably feels she's done with the parenting and wants her own life and her step-son is cramping it. Well... I hate to tell you this but YOU married the man knowing full well he had FULL custody of the boy! Anyway... I always hear money is the main breaker of marriages so I hope they have a plan to fix this debt they're into because they are hurtin' right now. And they both make A lot of money at their jobs... but they have a lot of debt to go along with it too...

    I guess time will tell.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #23

    Sep 30, 2007, 01:01 PM
    Definitely inferiority and insecurity as well as very co-dependent and seems like it never dawned on her to try having a life of her own. You, T and your husband need to quit telling her or her husband your every plan. I think you and T should make plans and when she asks
    What are you doing on Saturday (or whenever) simply tell her or T tell her "The two of us have plans what are your plans? Maybe you and T could take up some hobbies that she might not want to do like scuba diving classes, knitting, golfing, etc... and then hopefully she loses interest and maybe finds some new friends or hobbies. Or maybe if she would tag along to your new interests she might find some new friends there.
    I really wonder what her husband really thinks of her.
    Dunebunny's Avatar
    Dunebunny Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #24

    Oct 1, 2007, 08:00 AM
    Actually, T and myself, along with a couple of our other friends just joined Weight Watchers and are signing up for a water aerobics class. This other woman doesn't have a weight issue and once told me that she wouldn't be caught dead in a bathing suit. She wears pants all the time.. I've seen her in shorts only one time. BUT... that doesn't mean she won't because, remember in my other posts, she said she didn't care much for T either and now look!

    T said that this woman hasn't come around now in a while... but her husband hasn't either. In fact, he doesn't call my husband several times a day like he used to... only if he has a question on something with his car. They also are on vacation in Arizona visiting his relatives... maybe she'll want to move THERE! LOL

    I thought she would find a new friend in the monthly quilting club meetings. There's tons of ladies her age there. But she acts strange around other women... not really "friendly"... kind of hard to explain unless you saw her interact with others. It's kind of stand-offish in a friendly way. I think she does have a complex of some sort but she sure doesn't seem to have one when men are around! She is so intent on their conversations and laughs and jokes but when us women are jibber jabbering she doesn't act the same. I think you'd have to see the scenarios to know what I'm trying to get at but that's the jist of it.

    And, yeah... not sure what her husband thinks of how she is. Love is blind though... isn't that what they say? He doesn't react much that's for sure. This is his 3rd marriage... the other two left him for other men. Maybe they got bored. He sure is good at correcting what she says sometimes though! He's kind of a know-it-all. When I mention stuff, he's done it or seen it. I told my husband it's kind of irritating but he only says that the guy HAS done a lot in his life. Well... good for him. It's still irritating LOL.

    But I have a feeling she isn't happy because she spends a lot of money instead of focusing on their house project and other stuff they got going on. Between the both of them they make A lot more than my husband and me... but they have a lot of bills.

    We'll see how this all plays out... I will post any updates but so far I think she's gotten the message.
    Dunebunny's Avatar
    Dunebunny Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #25

    Oct 7, 2007, 05:04 PM
    Well... this isn't an update.. it's kind of a vent... like "I can't believe this chick" vent... and it's not pertaining to me but some news on how this woman does things. It goes along the lines of pushy maybe... not sure exactly.

    My husband got a call yesterday from this woman's husband. He needed help moving some classic cars he's storing in their very large back yard. When my husband got off the phone I asked him what was that all about? He said that the woman called a landscaper, got an estimate and booked to have the backyard and frontyard all landscaped WITHOUT discussing it with her husband. They aren't even finished with remodeling their house!

    I remember her husband also saying that he wanted to move the two buildings behind their house (not on foundations and moveable with a forklift) to make room for their hot tub that she got second hand from a friend. But apparently she's having this landscaper start THIS WEEK! My husband thought it was kind of dumb to start landscaping when they aren't even finished with their remodel... everything gets trampled and run over.

    Apparently she has other plans and her husband just lets her do what she wants.

    I'm betting that it was HER idea about North Dakota too and her husband decided to ask my husband about available jobs in ND the same day she told me ND was where they wanted to go too. But there has been no more mention of it since and I have not heard from her personally, email or phone, so I think she's definitely got the hint.

    But can you believe this woman? I always discuss stuff with my husband before any plans of it. I don't just go out and book jobs, etc. especially when it comes to money and our home!

    O.K. vented... :p

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Really dislike my husbands best friend [ 8 Answers ]

Here goes.. I am only married a couple months, but this has always been an issue somewhat ever since we have been dating. My husbands best friend is very adventerous, outgoing, and fun... all the reasons they get along so well. My issue is when we all hangout he tends to tease me a lot, not in...

Huge Crush on my Husbands Friend [ 40 Answers ]

Oh my god. First of all, I wasn't sure if this is the right category to post my dilema, but I'm soooo glad I found this website. Anyway I have a major crush on my husbands friend. I can't stop thinking of him. I go to the store hoping to run into him. I know I told myself a million times...

Is my husbands best friend my soulmate? [ 10 Answers ]

I believe in soulmates, I'm a spiritual person. I believe that everything happens for a reason. And with this one, I cannot figure it out. Usually I can, I'm good at this kind of stuff... but this one baffles me. Ok, my husband met this guy through work and became good friends with him. THis guy...

Is it normal for an ex wife to continue using her ex husbands last name? [ 11 Answers ]

Its been 5 years since the divorce and my boyfriends ex still uses his last name. Is this common? :confused:

Dad's will & leaving all to me & not wife or brother [ 4 Answers ]

:confused: My dad recently has his attorney draw up his will & made provisions to leave everything, (house & all), to only me, his daughter. He specifically declares in the will that his current wife,(my stepmother), or my older brother, (dad's only other child), are NOT to receive anything. He...


View more questions Search