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    nstrugnell's Avatar
    nstrugnell Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 5, 2007, 03:08 PM
    How can you make Your Man fall in love again like he used to?
    How can you make Your Man fall in love again like he used to?
    I have been with him for years and he tell me he don't know what he wants but he wants us to try, I feel like how can you want to try if you don't know what you want!
    MY HEART IS BREAKING... CAN YOU HELP?:confused:
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #2

    Oct 5, 2007, 11:45 PM
    You never swim in the same river twice,
    You never love the same person twice!

    Once love has gone or changed, it would never be the same again no matter how hard u try.

    So just let it be. He doesn't know what he wants, means he doesn't want anything. If so, then why bother??
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
    		  
    #3

    Oct 5, 2007, 11:55 PM
    As long is your husband is interested and willing, make an appointment with a good marriage counselor. If money is a problem, most accept payment on a sliding scale. (If he's not interested and willing, go to a counselor alone.)

    The counselor will listen to each of you and then work with the two of you to establish some short-term goals to improve your marriage. You will get "homework" assignments and will have to report back what happened. The whole counseling experience should turn out to be a real adventure for both of you--and maybe for the counselor too!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 6, 2007, 05:36 AM
    How many years have you been together, and how old are you both??
    cerisa's Avatar
    cerisa Posts: 247, Reputation: 71
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    #5

    Oct 6, 2007, 10:52 AM
    Yes you can, if you want to. We have been married 42 years .We have had our bad times too. Just like most couples.We do love each other and have realised it takes some work, but it is worth it. We "date" and make it an occasion, he has even had the car detailed for some of our dates. We dress up a little and it makes us feel special.He appreciates that I want to look nice for him. It doesn't have to be expensive.maybe a movie and a soda.
    What made you two love each other in the first place? Did you make more of an effort ? Did he? Treat each other like the lovers you want to be.
    2FUN4ME's Avatar
    2FUN4ME Posts: 12, Reputation: 9
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    #6

    Oct 6, 2007, 11:06 AM
    When people spend a lot of time together as in marriage, there is the double sided sword of familiarity. This is a person you can be yourself with and be accepted. This person knows you so well that you are predictable.

    Be unpredictable. Don't be home when he arrives, call him and ask him to meet you somewhere quiet and romantic. Just the two of you. Dress up, do the hair, the makeup and let him know you are not wearing panties.

    Be sure to appreciate his appearance, when he does something for you or the household and laugh when he tries to make you smile. This invitation from him is letting you know he thinks something is missing. Some spark. Act like you are dating again and take him to the zoo or a quiet park with a picnic lunch (include some chocolate). Send him some flowers to work . All these things will come back to you, trust me.

    I have a wonderful man that tells me almost every morning that he goes to be with a smile on his face just knowing I am next to him. He says things that make me feel attractive and loved daily. Day to day life gets in the way sometimes, so does the TV. Change your patterns together, the spark returns.

    The investment in your marriage is the best investment you can make for long term happiness. Jobs and money will be replaced, but the time you have with your husband is special, but easily overlooked as easy and comfortable. :o Very best of long term happiness to you.
    strahan's Avatar
    strahan Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 21, 2007, 11:28 PM
    Right now I am in the same boat. I know if we were to split I would thank him. I'm blessed to have felt the love that I have even for a second. Live life like its your last breath. No matter what make sure you tell the ones you love that you love them, tell them all the time. One perk for me and my husband make love in a strange place once a month or more. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world.
    Greg Quinn's Avatar
    Greg Quinn Posts: 486, Reputation: 85
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    #8

    Oct 21, 2007, 11:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 2FUN4ME
    When people spend a lot of time together as in marriage, there is the double sided sword of familiarity. This is a person you can be yourself with and be accepted. This person knows you so well that you are predictable.

    Be unpredictable. Don't be home when he arrives, call him and ask him to meet you somewhere quiet and romantic. Just the two of you. Dress up, do the hair, the makeup and let him know you are not wearing panties.

    Be sure to appreciate his appearance, when he does something for you or the household and laugh when he tries to make you smile. This invitation from him is letting you know he thinks something is missing. Some spark. Act like you are dating again and take him to the zoo or a quiet park with a picnic lunch (include some chocolate). Send him some flowers to work . All these things will come back to you, trust me.

    I have a wonderful man that tells me almost every morning that he goes to be with a smile on his face just knowing I am next to him. He says things that make me feel attractive and loved daily. Day to day life gets in the way sometimes, so does the TV. Change your patterns together, the spark returns.

    The investment in your marriage is the best investment you can make for long term happiness. Jobs and money will be replaced, but the time you have with your husband is special, but easily overlooked as easy and comfortable. :o Very best of long term happiness to you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I think it is good to try these things, and stay possitive.
    Your problem is so familiar and as I recall it was such a sad thing in my life to have realised. It's hard to change how you feel about someone in terms of love.
    I personally would see if a break may help. I know that it is an extreme answer and difficult to understand, but I have been there in the past and found it very hard to change those emotions... I was able to feel better for a while and change patterns to try to bring back the magic. That really was a temporary fix and I always wondered, if we took a break and the time to see if our love would be jump started by the "Don't know what you have till it's gone" idea. I am only giving my experience here and what I would do based on my failures and what you have explained.
    amylc's Avatar
    amylc Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
    New Member
    		  
    #9

    Nov 28, 2007, 08:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by nstrugnell
    How can you make Your Man fall in love again like he used to?
    I have been with him for years and he tell me he dont know what he wants but he wants us to try, I feel like how can you wanna try if you dont know what you want!
    MY HEART IS BREAKING...CAN YOU HELP?:confused:
    Be sweet. Think about what he likes and do it. Act like his lover, nuzzle his neck, compliment him. You have all the power honey. Get the book "proper care and feeding of husbands by Dr. Laura Schlesenger(sp).
    Tommy222's Avatar
    Tommy222 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #10

    Jul 19, 2011, 04:56 AM
    Try complimenting him more, but also give him space.

    Lisa - http://howtomakeaguyfallinlovewithyou.info/
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
    		  
    #11

    Jul 19, 2011, 06:24 AM

    This is from 2007.
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