At what point, and how, do you let go of a childhood best friend who is hurtful and mean? I am really struggling here.

Do you want dissolution or resolution? Long time good friends are hard to come by. You must have discussed your concerns with this individual, yes?

BTW: In my opinion, fairytales do always have a happy ending... Life however...

I have gone through this before. It's the hardest breakup to ever be done. I had friend "break up" with me over email. It was simple, to the point and I understood that the email was it that she would not respond to anything I wrote back. I felt it was a good way to do it and to be honest I had been expecting it I knew our friendship wasn't good anymore.

Simple, if something is not working out and you're not deriving happiness in friendship or relationship whatsoever, then it is deemed that it's almost over. We simply drag on some relationships for the fear of stigmas attached that "childhood friends or friends for long should not be lost......"... but llok at it this way... times change and so do people, their circumstances. I can only suggest that friendships are to be enjoyed till the time they last... I know it hurts to lose a friend who've bn close to you, but it already is giving u feeling of dissatisfaction, what's the point hanging onto it. Try to be a bit unemotional.. I have realized, being too emotional about not letting go of things, makes us feel cringed... so come out of it... and move buddy...

I think you already know the answer to "at what point do you let go?" If you have to ask then the time is probably already here. It sounds like it has been building for some time and you've tried to find other options. To be fair to your friend, is there a reason he/she is suddenly mean or has the friend just become bitter overall. If something tragic has happened recently you may need to wait it out. But if they have just become bitter about life you have to let go now. You can never bring somebody up, they will always bring you down.

As far as how, I had a friend that just became full of hate and bitterness after being frineds for about 10 years. Every time he would lose his temper I would say "Are you going to b*tch all night?" Initially his answer was no and that was enough to make him shut up. Once he said to me, "what if I am going to complain all night?" to which I said, "then I'm going home, I have one life and I'm not going to waste it listening to you complain all the time." That shut him up that night but it did get worse and eventually I just quit hanging out with him less and less because it was so emotionally draining just to be his friend and hang out with him.

I have never regretted that decision and you won't either if you are looking for a life filled with happiness and not a life filled with negativity and complaining.

Thank you all for your advice. Yeah, Chuff, I think you are right. I do know that now is the time, its just hard. It is hard for me to let go of people. But she is negative, she is spiteful and she is very jealous and insecure. I try to look past it, but sometimes it is almost too difficult to talk to her. To answer where did this stem from, she just came and visited me for two weeks, with her four children. She and I took the kids to Universal and Islands of Adventure. I helped her because it was a lot for her to come here. Well, one night we went out for my birthday, and the next day one of my friends told me she was talking crap about me and he thought I should know. He thought it was weird that someone that just met my friend and her husband, would talk about me while we are out in a limo for my birthday, compliments of my husband. It hurt my feelings, I asked her about it, she lashed out, got defensive and really downright mean. I know now it is better to let her go, in fact she told me in an email not to write or call again. I just wanted her to explain what happened, if it was blown out of proportion I would have understood. Instead, she freaked out and said every rude thing about me she could. I told her I wouldn't resort to name calling and I told her I didn't care about the money I spent, (She kept bringing that up) I told her I cared more about how she treated me, or responded to me, than paying me back. I really hoped she would see that but she just got worse.

So, that in a nutshell is what happened. I know I should let her go, I know she has treated me badly. Am I a glutton for punishment? Well that remains to be seen. IT just hurts when people you love intentionally hurt you. IT isn't something that I do, so it is difficult for me to understand it when people do it to me. She lives in another state and I don't see her everyday, but I did used to talk to her all the time about everything. I just have to be strong and move on, right??

What a vacation huh? Friendship is supposed to bring joy to your lives. Helping each other through hard time and celebrating the good times. It sounds that she is not in a place to do either. ANd from her reaction she has ended it for you. Maybe she can get herself in a better place and you can rebuild the friendship in the future. Maybe a letter later would work to express how much the friendship has meant in the past and how you feel now. Maybe there is more going on in her life than she has shared and is taking it out on you thinking you have it all. She probably doesn't know all that you have been through. WE all have things going on that we don't share. Everyone else seems to have it better. If only we knew... Good to talk with you again.

Thanks for your advice. It is heartfelt and genuine, as usual. Yes, you are right and I am sure that I need to be more compassionate for what I don't understand. It is one of my crosses to bear, being forgiving when people are mean and spiteful. It probably has more to do with how she feels about herself, than how she feels about me. The hard part is forgetting all the mean things she said to me, my little ego needs to toughen up a bit. But this is a process, that is what life is trying to become better through each trial and tribulation. You have many of your own and I appreciate you taking the time to notice mine. I always enjoy talking to you too Lacey. Peace to you and your family.

You need to toughen Up? LOL I can take that advise myself. I can't get to the forgetting yet. I am still trying not to cry all day! Pat yourself on the back. You have a lot to be proud of.

If someone is hurtfully and mean, they are not your friend!
Answer is simple: tell them the friendship is over do their mentally abusing you,
Then avoid contact with them!

I am currently going through this same thing with a buddy of mine. We have became really close and it is weird to think about how an ending to a friendship between two buddies can be so similar to a break up. Life is to short to just end a friendship but if problems and differences can not be resolved then it is time to end it. If you are looking for a way out now then it is probably time to get out.