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    PixieMama's Avatar
    PixieMama Posts: 68, Reputation: 8
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    #1

    Jun 9, 2007, 12:09 PM
    How do you play 'hard to get' while married?
    This is a bit odd, but one day when my husband and I were talking he told me that he enjoys the thrill of the chase. And that he doesn't want to be chasing other women because he loves ME and only wants to be with me. But that he wants me to give him a chase and not put out so easily (which is hard for me because I have a very high sex drive! ) and to make him "work for it". He says that he loves sex but that he loves the wanting of sex even more. Hence the thrill of the chase. He wants me to tease him and walk away leaving him wanting more. Okay. The teasing part I can do. But when it comes to playing hard to get and the thrill of the chase bit - I'm a bit lost on it.

    I have asked my real life friends about this and none of them knew anything to tell me. Most of them aren't married either. I asked my mother for her advice and what she would do and her advice was "When he walks in the door from a hard days work, push him up against the wall and give him a blow job." Gee, thanks mom, but he's not telling me to 'spice it up'. LOL. So... I thought maybe someone here would be able to give some advice. How do you play hard to get while married? I don't need any advice on how to spice it up in the bedroom since I am a Passion Party Consultant, and we have amazing sex that he brags to his friends about. It's the thrill of the chase thing that eludes me. I don't want my husband to lose interest in me because I make it too easy for him. We've been married for 3 years this August and we're a young couple (I'm 25, he's 24).

    So... Any input would be helpful, particularly from males would be great, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Thanks.:p
    NowWhat's Avatar
    NowWhat Posts: 1,634, Reputation: 264
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    #2

    Jun 9, 2007, 06:32 PM
    Spicing it up and the chase - well that is such a fine line when you are married. And when I think of hard to get - I think of maybe giving "hints" of something but then totally backing off. Something that would leave someone questioning.
    Everything that is coming to mind is more of spicing things up. Like, going out to dinner and letting him know you aren't wearing underpants before you get to the restaurant.

    I am going to think about this one. Because right now.. I just don't know.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #3

    Jun 9, 2007, 06:49 PM
    Remember how you and he acted with each other when you were getting better acquainted. Think senses -- hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, speaking. For instance, at a social gathering, go up to him and run your fingers down the front of his shirt, but don't say a word -- just give him a sexy smile. Leave a short but sweet love note for him in a place he wouldn't expect to find it, like taped to his steering wheel or in a book you know he's currently reading. Your imagination is all you need.

    Here's a site that gives suggestions.

    RomanceClass.Com - Learn how to Begin or Improve your Romance!

    Google "sexy moves for her" or "how to tease him" or "how to chase him" or whatever (all without quote marks) for more ideas.
    PixieMama's Avatar
    PixieMama Posts: 68, Reputation: 8
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    #4

    Jun 13, 2007, 10:40 AM
    I don't need any help with keeping things interesting sexually, or adding romancing to the relationship. I work as a Passion Party Consultant so I don't run out of ideas in those departments, trust me. ;)

    The part that eludes me is the making him chase me part. I can understand when two people are dating the whole "hard to get" thing but I've never been all that good with playing hard to get when I was single and dating, he's the one who enjoys the chase, not me. So looking up ways to chase him wouldn't do me any good.

    But thanks anyway.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Jun 13, 2007, 11:51 AM
    Please check the site and reverse the ideas. YOU chase HIM and HE will chase YOU.
    catsandkittensandmittens's Avatar
    catsandkittensandmittens Posts: 31, Reputation: 5
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    #6

    Jun 13, 2007, 12:30 PM
    I know some people think that self pleasure is a sin. I do not agree. I would let him hear me pleasing myself and I would not attempt to involve him in it. I would pretend that I thought he was asleep. My husband thinks this is a turn on. A day or so later he is still so excited and we have great and exciting love making. You could pruposefuly rub up against him give him sweet kisses and leave it at that believe me he will be chasing after you . With a few days of that. I would leave him little notes . I would tell him in detail what I would like to do to him make sure he finds it early in the morning before work and when he gets home have a nice romantic dinner and leave it at that snuggle up and watch television and leave it at that. You may hold his hand and give a deep sexy kiss at the end of the night but make sure you do not go to bed with him, if you must spend sometime alone in the bathroom. Give some of this a try it drives my husband crazy.
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #7

    Jun 13, 2007, 12:54 PM
    I thought you and your hubby was living in 2 different satates because of his probation? Did he finealy get to join you and your 4 kids?
    earl237's Avatar
    earl237 Posts: 532, Reputation: 57
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    #8

    Jun 14, 2007, 01:49 PM
    I can't believe your mom gave you that advice! Very hip.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Jun 14, 2007, 02:32 PM
    Looking at a total picture, gotten from your other posts, your husband is very immature to begin with. His thrill for the chase, does not mean he can go outside his marriage, and you feeding that thrill, enables and hides, the fact that he is not ready to be a responsible adult, or honest apparently, as his probation shows. His cheating is selfish, with no regard for you, and the kids. He needs a boot, not hard to get.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Jul 8, 2007, 10:34 AM

    My mistake, seems I misread your post. Sorry.
    jessmarie's Avatar
    jessmarie Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 16, 2010, 01:03 PM
    Read the book "The Rules". It will help for exactly what you are talking about.

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