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denim dan · Mar 22, 2007, 06:39 AM

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months now and about a month ago we decided we were ready in the relationship for sex. Well, when we engage in foreplay we both get very aroused, but when we get to the point of it turning into sex, I become nervous and while she stays ready, for lack of a better term, I lose my buzz. I know this is probably nerves, but it has happened a few times now, and she's becoming very frustrated in the relationship and I'm becoming very embarrassed about my performance. Are there things out there that would help me keep my erection or maybe increase my sensitivity down there so that I can stay hard even though I become nervous? Hopefully if I can just get over the hump once, I'll be fine from there on out.

Krs · Mar 23, 2007, 07:37 AM

How old are you?

Maybe you consult your doctor seeing as this has happened more than once!

kepi · Mar 24, 2007, 09:10 AM

Dan, I would suggest you try to relax. Don't be nervous! Because you are so nervous, your performance suffers. You should try to relax, and know that you are about to do something amazing!
But if you absolutely HAVE to have sex (I don't see why you WOULD have to ABSOLUTELY have sex, but... ), you could try a cock ring, and, for the long-term effect, you should do pubococcygeal excercises, also known as Kegels.

But I truly think that if you can relax, you'll be good to go :D

RubyPitbull · Mar 24, 2007, 10:08 AM

denim dan, Kepi has given you a couple of good ideas.

I don't think what you are suffering from is a physical problem, I think there is psychological issue here. I know it is hard to relax when someone tells you to relax. Is this you first experience with a woman? Do you come from a very religious background? Sometimes these things effect how we respond sexually. It is a mind over matter scenario.

One thing I can assure you of is, since this relationship is new to you, what you are experiencing is normal. Happens to a lot of men. It is called performance anxiety.

This web cast recap explains a lot:

Sexual Health - Conquering Performance Anxiety

This link also has some good tips:

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

If you find that these things aren't helping you, come back to the forum. Post exactly what you are thinking about when this is occurring. We might be able to help you work through this problem.

alizeblu · Mar 24, 2007, 10:46 AM

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bmcpartland · Sep 26, 2007, 11:34 AM

There are a number of natural supplements out there that you can take without having to get a prescription for erectile dysfunction; I got some good info and ordered these pills from EZEREX - Home , was definitely able to last much longer with my girl.

edzmedz · Sep 28, 2007, 11:29 AM

Well the suggestions you got in previous posts are good. When you relax you should also remove from your mind the thought of immediate hard sex , just do the other stuff and your erection will gradually come back when most unexpected. Penetration is just a tiny part of sex. A good idea is also to bring in gadgets like dildos etc.. To stimulate your partner. And as always use your imagination, it's the most sexual tool you can have.

americangayboy · Sep 30, 2007, 11:29 AM

Try wearing a cock-ring, you'll last longer and stay harder.