Actually, there are no magic words beyond empathetic truthful inquiry.
Have you considered getting a 2nd opinion about just how successful a 2nd repair would actually be? It's always possible for things to get worse instead of better.
You truly have nothing to lose by sitting down and kindly talking with your surgeon. Show him these writing. Some doctors frequently do not perceive the anxiety that they are able to provoke in us. What is the worst that could happen by having the peaceful talk with the surgeon - I mean really, really.
I would personally leave any legal activity out of the picture until you have absolutely no other options and even then - since you most likely signed a surgical consent form, you have possibly incurred an "acceptable known risk" of this type of surgery. Therefore, there is no legal case. That is not to say there is no problem. You see - the medical profession and the legal profession are totally, totally different in the definitions of medical problems and acceptable solutions or as the medical world puts it "outcomes".
Finally - I hope that you can come to the place where you will feel comfortable verbalizing your obvious needs to this physician. I'd ask that you simply give him/her a chance to finish helping you. Please try to remember that your personal family financial issues related to signing for a new home ( congratulations !) have really no bearing on the doctors' work or the surgical outcome. As hard as it may be, try to put your physical health in front for the current moment. DAS