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    SecretGirl12's Avatar
    SecretGirl12 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 13, 2012, 09:01 PM
    I have a friend who cuts herself, and I'm really scared for her.
    I have a friend who cuts herself, and she is really worrying me and my best friend. She knows its bad, but she says it relieves stress. Today I saw the cuts on her wrist, she said she cut herself and passed out from the blood loss. She is suicidal, and this is due to stress and her being bisexual. I ran my finger over the scratches and felt sick in the stomach. She is mean sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her and her doing this. Me and my friend are really scared for her, for next time she could die from this. We don't want to lose her, and she won't tell anyone. I feel we're bad people if we let her do this and don't tell anyone, when we really want to help her. She doesn't think her parents will take her and get her help, and she has nobody else to turn to but us, and we can't do very much. I am really, really scared for her. What should I do?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Feb 13, 2012, 09:10 PM
    Do you go to the same school? Tell a teacher or the guidance counselor or even the principal. They are mandated to get help for her. You would be doing her a great service--and saving her life.
    indya's Avatar
    indya Posts: 357, Reputation: 58
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    #3

    Feb 13, 2012, 09:10 PM
    Well, if she is underage I think you must inform her parents. Why won't they do anything for her?

    Get her to a counselor, put her on therapy. That is the only and the best thing you can do for her.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Feb 13, 2012, 09:43 PM
    You tell your parents, you tell her parents, you tell a teacher at school, you tell a school counselor. You keep telling people, till she gets help. That is what a real friend will do.
    jeannam's Avatar
    jeannam Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Feb 14, 2012, 01:20 AM
    Your friend is indeed in much pain, mental agony. She obviously has not found any way to stop the situation that is causing this pain. She will need patience and loyal friends to help her make it through this problem. I can relate so may I say, just for you to know... There is something bad going on in her life that she is not allowed to discuss or she may not be able to understand herself yet. Like where her trama is coming from. It could be she is being neglected or abused and probably it has been going on for quite awhile.

    Being a cutter is someone who is caught in a vicious cycle. Mistreatment or abuse - feel defenseless - experience emotion overload - cut cut cut - finally pain inside stops because now pain on outside - get good or bad attention feel loved - inside feel really bad though. Repeat repeat repeat.

    When she acts mean sometimes is also a part of that cycle. My guess here is the mean streak comes right after she has been through some trama or neglect.

    Indeed you should walk with her to a councilor. Go with her if you can. Tell her you cannot and will not stand by and watch her keep doing this. She needs to find one adult who has authority, such as a school councilor, whom she can learn to trust. This may take some trial and error but don't give up. Keep reaching out for someone to come in and help. Even a Police Officer or a Clergy from a Church. She may lean hard on you at times. Let her know you will stand with her as long as she is trying to get help.

    I wish I could help kiddo, It may get rough and a bit icky and dirty but she should come through to be an outstanding young lady. She does need that one trustworthy adult though. Help her find him/her. Good luick little one. XXX OOO
    BVBLOVE4EVA's Avatar
    BVBLOVE4EVA Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Feb 17, 2012, 12:42 AM
    I sometimes cut myself.But that's when I'm in a big aggervating state.Tell her that she needs to stop.After my mom came in my bathroom with me leaning over a sink passed out, I was embarrassed.She needs love and attention.Since she's bi that is wrong for making fun of someone for that.Show her the love and attention like I mentioned earlier,and she should stop. Good luck.
    circles102's Avatar
    circles102 Posts: 52, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Feb 19, 2012, 12:50 AM
    I cut myself, I know people who do, the girl I love does, all wearing stuff around our wrists to cover our scars. If she's suicidal it means she need something to live for, needs people THAT SHE WANTS TO LOVE HER to love her. Anyone who has never done it can't understand it. Don't ever tell her you do, unless you really do. Don't get her help from adults until she thinks she should, otherwise shel think your "one of them". That's how I would see it. Slashing wrists isn't an attempt at suicide,

    I hope she doesn't do it.
    jeannam's Avatar
    jeannam Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Apr 17, 2013, 04:28 PM
    It would be nice to know how your situation is doing. Can you give us an Update if your still here on site. I come and go to.
    purplenurple69's Avatar
    purplenurple69 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Sep 19, 2013, 07:41 PM
    Well I cut myself for a very long time, however I never cut deep enough that'd risk losing my life. There is a fine line between self harm and being suicidal, many people who self harm do it to relieve stress, cope, or punish themselves. However going back to your friend it seems like she's in a more dangerous situation. It looks to me like she's very close to committing suicide legit this time. Honestly when you're in that low of a point words will help sure, but they won't solve her problem. You see maybe if she had a slight self harm problem I would recommend not telling an adult because usually people can grow out of that or stop without therapy and just the encouragement of friends around them. Also a lot of people cut during a certain dark period in their lives. For most though cutting can become a huge addiction and a growing problem and I feel like you're friend needs serious help pronto. I know what you're looking for, you want to be the good cop, you want to help her and have her get better, WITHOUT TELLING AN ADULT, we all wish it was that simple. But it isn't, you really truly should tell someone, you'll regret it in the long run if something DID happen to her. Best wishes.

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