We are a young couple and been shortly married a bit over 2 years been together longer though, my husband is very selfish and self centered never helps with the raising of our child and not much excitement for our second. We have two very different back grounds and ideas of parenting he doesn't understand a child will be a child and they want to play. He disaplins our child for wanting to play or to even share his drink. He has been aggressive to me in the past with no charges because nothing went to far out of control he would hit. Or push and the regret it and go in his room and hide out. He has a very low mental mentality and no job I also have no job and our only income is ssi disability which my daughter doesn't qualify for. I have no savings poor credit and no safe place for myself or my child to go I have often tried to get him to leave our apartment because we had rent paid ahead but never would so now I'm staying with him primarilly for the income I can't work have my own application pending for disability due to health conditions I don't know the steps of leaving or what I should do its not a marriage anymore the love is gone well not gone still there but the choices he makes are not beneficial to our family and immature. I have tried to seek counsil but no avail I'm early on in my pregnancy about 2 1/2 months but I have no car and don't drive either my husband offten encourages me to leave because he knows I'll stay because I have no choice and although I love him I feel it unrequitted or non returned we have our good days of course where everything is fine but I want more for my children and a half time or part time loving father doesn't cut it exspecially on who would rather by an xbox instead of diapers Please any help would be great!

First, where are you, City or State?

There are women's shelters in many Cities, safe places for you and your child. Where is your family? Is your family supportive?

Here, straight forward, is my concern - you say the love is gone but the love is not gone. You love him "although" you feel it is unrequited or non returned.

I'm not sure you really want to leave. It sounds like you THREATEN to leave but never actually plan to go or actually leave. If you are using threats of leaving to change him, it's not going to work.

Have you tried counselling TOGETHER? Not you, not him, both of you?

The steps of "leaving" are to file for a divorce according to the laws of your Country or State. Your husband will be ordered to support you and your child - as his income allows and State law provides.

But, again, I'm not sure you want to go. It sounds like you want him to be a better father, parent in a different manner, in general - he should grow up. The way to do that is to get him to see the areas where he can improve without tearing down his self esteem. That's why you need to talk to somebody.

I don't understand entirely why you are having a second child when he is a "bad" parent to the first child - unless the second child wasn't planned.

If and when he pushes or threatens or does whatever he does to you, you need to call the Police BEFORE he gets frustrated and physical with you OR YOUR CHILD.

I keep saying the same thing - but I'm not 100% certain what you want, what you are thinking, what your eventual plans are.

Tell me - in a perfect World... what do you want to happen in your personal life and in your marriage.

You have good writing skills and give a good picture of what is happening. That is very often not the case and "we" at AMHD have to sort of pull out the details and figure out what's going on. I think this is going to come down what you want for your children and your own life. I'm not sure that you know at this point in time.

Having a young child and being pregnant and doing all the parenting yourself must be exhausting. How do you cope with that?

You paint a pretty bleak picture, rain street. There is always a womens' shelter to go to; you are obviously on a computer, they can be googled for one in your area if you have no other options.

Response to my answers to my question:
He won't go to counseling I do love hime if you don't love someone and don't have intentions of being with them in a relationship you have no business having a kid with them. I don't drive and I live in a small city non are near. I need to leave because its unhealthy to keep a relationship with him, I've asked for just a separation to try to give things a break because he doesn't seem ready to give up his teen years so I'm alone the arguments are unhealthy usually we try to keep them from our child's ears but he's not a father and not a husband no one wants to leave someone they love but I love and care about my daughter more so I will there are of course times where I despise him but the facts are these I want to leave and need to leave because of my daughter and I can't be with someone who doesn't care for either of us. As far as family my dad encourages me to leave but he is unable to help he lives in a small apt with his girlfriend and doesn't work he's on disability he can't bareley take care of himself fincially. My mother wants me to stay married she loves my husband he's like her son but even if she did help she doesn't have money and can't keep her mortgage payments up after her husbands suicide a year ago, on top of that she is a horder and has a mice infestation because she lives on a farm its not a safe place for children. Other family isn't a help all of the distant family or same or similar situations. That's why I'm stuck in my perdictament and I have been staying for the financial reasons and after next month we will be responsible for paying for rent again (new lease) and we will be in even greater financial strain, living on less than 100/month and electric, gas, car insurance, and other bills have to come out of 100, its impossible each month causes deaper debt no credit cards no savings either so yeah... I just don't even know where to begin how to go about a divorce or getting to live on my own with no income. Is it even possible I have health care and food threw state but houseing isn't possible no income they won't rent even state aided housing they require some sort of income local agency help has a limit on help and they have help this past year and oly do it once ever 12 months or other places always say no funds.