I have asked other people and got some good advice but I am having trouble implenting it. I noticed this affecting Owen the other day and I want to stop this so he can not be anxious.
I am scared of dogs I don't know that bark and come toward me. I am also scared of Owen being accused of biting someone due to his breed(bully breed). From my limited research and talking to others Owen feels my anxiety and that affects him. I do understand that and agree it is me and I need to change.
HOW? I try to stay mindful and use my DBT skills that I have been learning. They fit for this but I am still scared and anxious. Is there such a thing as training for anxious owners to teach them that is normal dogs playing vs that is a situation you need to get your dog and take him away. That is part of my problem too I just can't tell the difference in play and not play. I get so scared it looks bad to me all the time.
I am so angry at myself for this and need to understand what I can do to learn and be a good owner. I hope this makes sense and it is clear.

Susan.

I have a GSD - she looks very threatening and she's 150 pounds, extremely large for her breed. I get nervous when she's around other dogs because she makes THEM (and their owners) nervous. She then sort of bounces off me and gets a little apprehensive which makes her get a little more "bold" than she would normally be. I see her begin to posture and think, "Oh boy."

I've found that if I control my breathing (in and out, calm, slow breaths) and also talk to BOTH of us in a reassuring voice (and I can say just about anything, she's very conscious of my voice) we are fine.

It's more a matter of controlling your responses and then letting the dog bounce off that.

My concern is that people see my dog and move quickly to get out of the way, will get hurt, I will get blamed. I'm an investigator and I get assignments where the dog looked threatening (or people were afraid of the breed), they do something stupid and somebody gets hurt, often simply falling over their own feet. That is NOT the dog's fault.

Would reading up on both human and dogs' body language help at all and even role-playing with your therapist? I know from my cats that they are always telling me how they feel just by the way a tail twitches or ears flick or eyes narrow. And of course my cats (like dogs) make noises -- a growl, a snort, a howl, a yelp.

Yes the breathing does help for mindfulness. I will try the talking to Owen and myself. WG what are realible books to read. I don't want to read stuff and it be inaccurate. It is hard to know what is true on the net. That is part of my problem is being able to tell the difference in growls (play, warning or get the heck away from me). For example.
Being high emotional (from my disorder) really does not help with this at all. I will get this.. I know I have progressed and will continue to.

Not everyone is a Cesar Milan fan but I am one who appreciates his insights on dog language and behavior. It may benefit you to do some reading up on his materials and watch his videos on NatWild, channel 190 if you use DISH. The owners anxiety can often fuel the dogs anxiety

I do watch Cesar and try to use his methods. I do find it hard sometimes to figure out the right way to implement some of his teachings. I think a trip to the library will be in order to get some of his books.. ty

How is Owen doing otherwise? Any chance you could post some current photos?

He is doing well. We monitor his legs and that dictates how long his walks are and if he is back on bed rest. Let me see what I have on my computer for pics of him :)brb

that was taken Nov 30 2011

It is not letting me upload it stays stuck on "waiting on askme" or something like that

Maybe reboot your computer. That seems to always solve my problems.

Did not help and I had a cute christmas pic of him too :(

Is it on Facebook?

Yes but I forget your name on there can you send it to me in a message here

Is it the photo of Owen wearing red antlers (and a man is behind him)?

That is hubby... Owen was so not impressed with the antler thing. He would not move with them on at all was like a statue.

I own an American Pit Bull Terrier... A true, fire breathing dog that more than likely came from fighting stock (she's getting more aggressive every year towards strange dogs)... I know her triggers, I know her body language and I know when she is about to lunge forward...

Being able to relax with your dog around other dogs is just based on how well you know your own dog. What does he do when he's ready to play with another dog? Does he go into a play bow? Does he stand up straight on his front legs wagging his tail excessively with his ears back? Or does he freeze and stare? You need to learn how your own dog operates before you feel comfortable and confident in yourself with him around other dogs.

I'm not too knocked out about dealing with someone elses' dogs. Not everyong socializes their dogs properly and some of the things that you do that you consider normal, may trigger a strange dog to react in an unfriendly manner. And it does make it hard to be friendly and welcoming of strange dogs. But if you want to get over this, I would suggest to do it without Owen.. get your own anxiety out of the way before he feeds off you and has a permanent behavior issue with other dogs.

Continue going to obedience classes. It'll help Owen in the long run, every dog can use some obedience school even if they know it... and it'll help you deal with your own issues in a controlled environment with familure dogs.

However; I wouldn't dwell on it. Just because you are a dog owner now, doesn't mean that you HAVE to interact with other dogs. Owen doesn't have to like other dogs. In fact.. Dog parks are very un-natural for dogs. Wild dogs *street dogs* would never gather in a specific area to run around. Each pack as their own turf that is theirs. Dog parks work against that. Only the dogs that love life and have no issues with anything, accept dog parks... I'm assuming those dogs are not pack leaders, either.

One tip I did learn while showing my dog... Chew cinnamon gum. The smell of cinnamon is suppose to hide the phermones you put off when nervous or anxious. It may be a mind of matter kind of thing, but it seemed to work for me when I was competing. Maybe a security blanket is all you need?

Learn your dog first before you start worring about him being around other dogs. And don't let his breed type discourage you. Some bully breeds are just as friendly as any happy-go-lucky lab... And.. if you can show people who are skeptical about him, due to his breed-type, and you show you have total control.. people are less likely to shy away from you and your dog. My dog, as aggressive as she is becoming, is still under control while we are out and about.. and because she doesn't pull on her leash, over-excite herself at the site of other dogs and so on, lots of people like to pet her and meet her. So its all based on how you present yourelf with your dog.

Hope I helped..

For Lucky - an agree and applause. Great answer.

Thank you :)

I really like your cinnamon gum suggestion, Lucky. An animal's (dog's) sense of smell is such a huge factor. We have a sick cat right now who won't eat partly because she can't smell her food.