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    loveandhate's Avatar
    loveandhate Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 18, 2011, 12:33 AM
    Tears during sex
    I am a 20 year old woman. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight, and I had to stop him because I started to cry. The problem is, I can't tell if I was crying because it hurt or if I was scared.
    I was date raped one year ago, and I haven't had or even gotten close to sex with anyone since then. I have a very high level of trust for my boyfriend and I feel very very comfortable around him. I am afraid that maybe I cried because of what happened to me last year.
    I also could not tell if I was feeling pleasured, or pain. Granted, it's been a while since my lady parts have been stimulated (with my consent), so it could have just hurt, right? It felt good, yet kind of painful at the same time.
    Also, this was the first time I had EVER had sex with a condom. Before, I was on the pill and never used protection. However, I am not on the pill anymore and I really don't want a baby right now! Could the condom have something to do with it?
    Maybe I am being over freaked out about this, but it made me so freaked out when I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks. He too was very concerned, and kept asking me what was wrong... but I didn't know what to tell him.
    Any thoughts would be appreciated. Obviously, there probably isn't a right answer, but any suggestions or personal experiences would be appreciated. Thanks!
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
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    #2

    Dec 18, 2011, 03:39 AM
    In all honesty, I am an occasional 'cry-er'. I believe I do so as the levels of passion and love with my partner are just so intense that my emotions get more involved that I'd have previously liked them to. But after the first time (Which was also the FIRST time we made love), I sat my partner down and explained to him how I felt. He now takes it as a compliment when I do.

    And this may be the case with you. Are you close to your partner? Next time you feel it starting, try to work out whether it hurts. If it doesn't, assume this as an option. And just to add, are you seeing a therapist about your bad experience..

    X Dani
    loveandhate's Avatar
    loveandhate Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Dec 18, 2011, 09:12 AM
    Thank you for the answer! I am close with my boyfriend. We are practically best friends. I guess that passion and hormones and such could definitely be a cause of the tears.
    I was see a therapist for a while, but after work began to get busy I kind of stopped. Perhaps I should resume my sessions with her.
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Dec 18, 2011, 09:18 AM
    I'd definitely continue if you still feel affected, but good luck in the future! :)

    X Dani

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