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    morganntmiller's Avatar
    morganntmiller Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 13, 2011, 01:07 AM
    Should I be mad at my boyfriend for watching porn?
    He doesn't watch it often, and I was under the impression that he didn't watch it at all. So, I was surprised when I opened up his laptop to make reservations at a reasturant on our 6 month only to find two girls going down on each other.

    I can't decide if I should be angry at this or not. Part of me thinks, 'oh big deal, every man watches it'.
    But then I think of how he had asked to take pictures and videos of me nude and doing sexual things to him, specificly for this reason. I think this is making me feel insecure since he already has pictures and videos of me- why would he need more and watch other women?

    Also, I was on Facebook one night and in my news feed there was a picture of some random guy with his shirt off, and he happened to be ripped. My boyfriend covered up the picture with his hand and told me to stop looking at other guys. If he reacted like that to a picture of a guy in my news feed, which I wasn't even looking at; then how would he react if I was the one watching other men in porn?
    It feels like a double standard.

    I just don't want to be that absured girlfriend who asks ridiculous things of her boyfriend.
    Am I just being over-dramatic and should let it go?
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
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    #2

    Dec 13, 2011, 04:24 AM
    Our initial reaction is usually jealousy, we may get upset. That's natural. Wed start to wonder whether we're satisfying them enough - "Why is he looking at this if i'm good enough?"

    But porn is just a fantasy. It's not real. Assuming he's not cheating, there's nothing wrong with it.

    I'm sure he cherishes the pictures of you much more, he may be hiding them better.

    I do hope he was joking when he covered up the person on your Facebook. Was he? Because that's ridiculous.

    X Dani
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Dec 13, 2011, 11:28 AM
    Why not talk about it calmly and learn more about your guy, and face the double standard and fears together?

    You cannot beat honest communications to clear the air, learn, and adjust, and set boundaries of good behavior that you both can agree on.

    This doesn't have to be a disaster unless you make it one, but it can be a learning experience, to grow together with.
    surendran's Avatar
    surendran Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Dec 14, 2011, 06:41 AM
    My honest answer for this problem,better she should leave him away with great careful caution,Having friendship with boys or girls is not a bad thing.To maintain and develop a good relationship between them there must be some common subject in their discussion or talk.It may me about social issue,or general art,science etc.If at all no common subjects discussed between lovers.The natural emotion which connects male and female become sexual passion.
    In this case the boy is with much possessiveness and he fears that my girl friend should not see other male sexual activities.our society is male dominated what male does that should not be done by female.
    She must understand the social condition and culture and also the mentality of men.so, alter your life style & join with other good friends.
    cdncf's Avatar
    cdncf Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 9, 2012, 09:55 AM
    I am going through the same thing right now. My husband surfs porn just about every weekend in the morning while I sleep in. He doesn't know that I know. I'll let him keep thinking he's got a little secret. The thing that bothers me most is the "double standards." My husband, like yours, is jealous and would for sure be upset if he found me surfing porn but yet it's okay for him. I know that if I surfed porn my husband would feel betrayed, insecure and inadequate so why is it so hard for him to understand why I'm feeling those things? Two words... DOUBLE STANDARDS! Well I say, what's good for the goose is good for the gander so next time you're on your computer and he's there surf porn right in front of him and see what his reaction is. Sometimes men don't "get it" until you give them a taste of their own medicine and they get to see it from your point of view. Good luck to you!

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