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    carlylorelle's Avatar
    carlylorelle Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 1, 2010, 09:50 AM
    What to do when another girl likes your boyfriend?
    My boyfriend doesn't really have a lot of girl friends but he just recently started school and there is this girl that he drives home and than picks up her kid at the daycare with her and than drives them home because its on his way home. This girl is now all over his Facebook and liking every status that he puts. I trust him and know that he will never do anything I just don't trust her because I know how girls are. How should I go about this?
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 1, 2010, 09:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by carlylorelle View Post
    I trust him and know that he will never do anything I just dont trust her because i know how girls are. How should I go about this?
    You just contradicted yourself.

    If you trust him, then it doesn't matter what she does, because you believe that your boyfriend will be able to handle the situation. What can she possibly do that he can't fight off himself?

    Actually, does a part of you not trust your boyfriend?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 1, 2010, 10:21 AM

    I already know how my wife handles undue attention to me, she hangs around more, and makes sure other females know I am taken. For my part, No matter how great the attention maybe, I nip it in the bud before it has a chance to get too far out of hand. By that I mean being less available.

    This where you talk, not out of jealousy, but concern, he doesn't get himself in a situation nice guys often get into, people like them but they ignore that, and keep getting taken advantage of.

    What kind of stuff does she post on his facebook though, before we get to deep??? Friendly/grateful stuff can be ignored.
    carlylorelle's Avatar
    carlylorelle Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 1, 2010, 03:13 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    He is a super nice guy and people do take advantage of that I can say. LIke its like whenver he changes his status she likes it whether if its good or bad. And when I was single I use to be all over guys Facebook to get attention from them.
    carlylorelle's Avatar
    carlylorelle Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 1, 2010, 03:14 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Should I talk to him or just keep an eye on it before it gets out of hand. One of her guy friends made a comment how my boyfriend was being such a nice guy driving her home and picking up her kid.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #6

    Nov 1, 2010, 03:39 PM

    If you trust him like you say you do, then I would let him handle the situation.

    However, there may not even be a situation. He is doing her a favor and she is grateful.

    As far as Facebook, just because YOU were all over guys for attention, doesn't mean she is doing that.

    She may really like his status.

    If you are that uncomfortable with it, then you do have a right to ask him.

    Just know that not ALL women have bad intentions.

    For example: I have been dealing with my banker for 6 years. I know all about his family, wife, and vice versa. Every other Friday I go in to deposit my check, and swing on by his cubical to say hello. One Friday, his wife and baby came in to visit with him, and I just happened to stop in and he introduced me to his wife. Well, she gave me the "stare down". So what did I do? I went out of my way to make HER feel special, and make her the center of attention.

    So you see, when you say that you know how girls are, just keep in mind that not all women are like that and that there will be times that your boyfriend gets hit on or women will talk to him in a "friendly manner".

    Perhaps you can meet this woman, just to ensure her that he is yours. (Not by words but by actions)

    Also, when I was married, there were times that women would talk to my Husband in front of me, and I would get a vibe, so I would kiss him passionately in front of them.

    Again, if you are feeling uncomfaortable, then speak to him about it. After all, YOU should be allowed to be comfortable. It is your right.
    pandead's Avatar
    pandead Posts: 280, Reputation: 228
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    #7

    Nov 1, 2010, 03:46 PM

    Sounds like an annoying situation to me. Not because you don't trust him (or her) but he is basically doing a part of what her boyfriend would be doing if she had one (I'm assuming she doesn't?) or the father of her kid, her husband, whatever you want to call it.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I wouldn't say anything until I see/hear a solid proof that she is trying to seduce him. I've been a jealous person my entire life and I had enough arguments to know it never does any good to anyone. I'd just be myself, confident and caring girlfriend - and if I want to remind her that he isn't single, I would do it elegantly, without making anyone think that I'm jealous (when in reality... ) like going with them one day when my boyfriend drives her home - to see how it goes, making sure she stays in the backseat - all this with my cutest smile :p Just an idea.
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
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    #8

    Nov 1, 2010, 03:47 PM

    If I had a man that was being super nice and helpful to someone who was in need I'd have no issue whatsoever.

    However, being the territorial assassin I am, I too would become helpful to this woman in need and if I could offer to pick her kid up and take them home on a random day that I'd allow time off to do. Make a point of being there also randomly on days that my significant other was there to pick them up so it was a 'group' effort.

    Then she gets to see your
    a: a team effort,
    b: involved in what he does,
    c: erm, oh yes, TAKEN :)

    However, if he rebutts your assistance, makes excuses for you helping out then I would start asking serious questions.
    Carolina20's Avatar
    Carolina20 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Oct 30, 2011, 02:09 PM
    Honestly I have a problem right now. My boyfriend said that the girl I don't like because I have a feeling she has a crush on him, and two other people were having lunch together, yet when he took pictures, it was the girl and him. Also he seems to mention her name a bit and talks about how she's nothing to worry about, yet this girl that is watching out for me, said to stay away from her, but she keeps being around him. I've told him to stay away from her, but it seems like it is not getting to his head. Do I bring it up again, or do I just leave it alone. Honestly I hate her name being brought up and I don't like the fact that he had lunch with her and it seemed like it was just the two of them... Please help me!

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