btw i have NEVER heard of a child at 4 years old (even an emotionally advanced child of 4) being able to consciously go out of his way JUST to torment you and conspire to upset you. this is in your imagination. and i again strongly urge you to seek some help (i am not being insulting and saying mental help, i am speaking of a friend to share the load, a baby sitter once and a while to get you away. ETC things of that nature. though seeing a therapist may help you as well)