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    melissa1987_h's Avatar
    melissa1987_h Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 20, 2011, 10:18 PM
    Fathers rights in il when not married to the mother?
    Just wondering what are fathers rights laws in Illinois when the mother an father of the child were never married but he sighed the because an has the child 12 hours of the day an all day an night sat every day every weekend but now the mother is getting married an having another child an she is being completely unreasonable she threatens the father constantley that if he doesn't do what she want that he won't see there daughter is there anything he can do with out going to court or is that the only option?? Please help
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #2

    Jun 21, 2011, 05:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by melissa1987_h View Post
    just wondering what are fathers rights laws in illinois when the mother an father of the child were never married but he sighed the bc an has the child 12 hours of the day an all day an night sat every day every weekend but now the mother is getting married an having another child an she is being completely unreasonable she threatens the father constantley that if he doesn't do what she want that he won't see there daughter is there anything he can do with out going to court or is that the only option???? please help

    Yes, going to Court to get the father's rights enforced is the only way to GUARANTEE visitation with the child. The father has legal rights simply by virtue of being the father BUT needs the Court's help to enforce them.

    Family Courts (and the like) are usually very user friendly.

    The Court decides whether the father sees the child. It's not the mother's decision.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #3

    Jun 21, 2011, 06:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    ... The father has legal rights simply by virtue of being the father BUT needs the Court's help to enforce them.
    ...
    It's not the mother's decision.
    Both parents have full rights to the child. The mother is no more in control, legally speaking, than is the father.

    Best to go to court and get his rights specifically delineated. That will include child support, by the way.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    Jun 21, 2011, 09:24 AM

    So, if I follow you, the father cares for the child for half the day on weekdays and all weekend? Does the child spend weekday overnights? If so, it sounds like he has primary defacto custody. And it would be up to the mother to go to court to change that. On the other hand, she can just not return the child from her time.

    This is something that NEEDS to be spelled out in court.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #5

    Jun 21, 2011, 09:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    ... On the other hand, she can just not return the child from her time. ...
    Or he could too, for that matter.
    melissa1987_h's Avatar
    melissa1987_h Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jun 21, 2011, 01:22 PM
    He is very involved an yes he has her half the day all week an all day an night on sat but during the week she sleeps at her moms cause he works third shift an has no problem paying child support his ex drains him of most of his money anyway it would honestly save him money. Which really isn't an issue we just want to know that he has the same rights as her an she can not take away his daughter cause she feels like being a b****. He doesn't even want to take it to court cause he doesn't want the whole situation to get ugly. He is a great dad an takes care of his daughter an doesn't want to lose her.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    Jun 21, 2011, 01:23 PM

    If he's a great dad he goes to Court and gets support and visitation and custody put in writing.

    He also shields his daughter from anyone who calls the daughter's mother a b****.

    I see a lot of resentment on your part. That isn't going to play well in Court.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #8

    Jun 21, 2011, 03:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by melissa1987_h View Post
    he is very involved an yes he has her half the day all week an all day an night on sat but during the week she sleeps at her moms cause he works third shift an has no problem paying child support his ex drains him of most of his money anyway it would honestly save him money. which really isn't an issue we just want to know that he has the same rights as her an she can not take away his daughter cause she feels like being a b****. he doesn't even wanna take it to court cause he doesn't want the whole situation to get ugly. he is a great dad an takes care of his daughter an doesn't want to lose her.
    Who are you in this situation?

    But Judy is right, if he wants to be a great dad, then he makes sure his rights are protected. And the only way to do that is by going to court. It will get uglier if he doesn't.
    melissa1987_h's Avatar
    melissa1987_h Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jun 21, 2011, 03:15 PM
    I'm his sister thanks
    melissa1987_h's Avatar
    melissa1987_h Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 21, 2011, 03:17 PM
    Comment on JudyKayTee's post
    I didn't call her that I said she was acting like one
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #11

    Jun 21, 2011, 06:35 PM

    It needs and should go to court, if not, the mother will blackmail and control things forever. He will be hurt time after time if there is not a court order
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