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Bardonicus · Mar 13, 2011, 10:16 PM

Hi Guys,

I have been dating a girl for a bit over 6 months now and I have a minor problem. When we started our relationship she told me that she is not a very emotional person. This is something that picked up more than I thought it would. She hardly ever hugs me, hold me or kisses me out of her own. I know I do it quite often and sometimes she gets annoyed with it because she is busy doing something or I just plainly "hang onto her". She on the other hand hardly ever shows affection. I am a sensitive (and very romanticly driven) guy and this is something that is important to me. I have spoken to her about his and she just said that this is who she is. I think there might be an additional underlaying insecurity that I need to mention and that is that she was engadged in her previous relationship.

How do I overcome this? I would love for her to show me how much she loves me through romantic things (like I do for her).

amicon · Mar 14, 2011, 01:39 AM

If she has told you that this is how she is,there's not a lot you can do.

You can't force her to change her personality for you.

If you can't live with how she is,maybe you should consider whether the two of you should be together.

Bardonicus · Mar 14, 2011, 03:20 AM

But surely if you know that if something simple is going to mean so much for the other person then why not just do it? Am I wrong here? If I am I need to know so that I can change my thinking.

J_9 · Mar 14, 2011, 03:37 AM

I'm just like your girl. I am not openly affectionate. I have no underlying problems, just not all touchy feely.

if something simple is going to mean so much for the other person then why not just do it?

Because we are not affectionate people.

adviceishere · Mar 14, 2011, 04:42 AM

I'm exactly the same also, I don't like touchy feely, I don't show affection in the ways you want her too, but I am a good girlfriend. I never let my boyfriend down, I'm very loyal to him, I'm never late, I listen to him and I'm always there when he has a problem and needs someone there. Be happy with what you have! I'm sure she has plenty of other ways to show you she cares

J_9 · Mar 14, 2011, 05:34 AM

Bottom line... Don't try to change a person. They are what they are. Either you accept it or move on.

talaniman · Mar 14, 2011, 09:01 AM

Its only been 6 months and you are trying to change her to fit your needs. That's a bit selfish, as she has told you, and shown you how she is, so accept it, or leave it alone, because you sure ain't going to change it.

If your patient, as time goes on a compromise of sorts can be reached, but demanding something from another who isn't willing to give it, never works.

Hey you chose her for what she was, so why isn't that good enough now Mr. Romantic Touchy Feely?

Pay attention, she maybe showing affection in other ways that you may not be picking up on.