Before I start, I'm going to give a little information that you may want to know.
I'm 19, female and have a boyfriend whose age 25. (Age isn't the issue, ignore the age difference). We are online dating and have been with each other for 1 year and a few months)

I get really really upset about his past. He been in 4+ relationships with other girls and out of those relationships, he had sex with 3 of them.
All 4 cheated on him and lied to him. He was looking for love and had sex with them too early. He had sex with one of them in 5 days after meeting her. This hurts so much. Why have sex with someone you don't know so much about? He said that he trusted her and all that, so they started making out and soon got into each others pants. This also hurts IMAGINING him ROLLING around in BED, kissing, touching each other.. :'(

All the girls he had sex with weren't virgins. They took his virginity. He haven't took any other girls virginity. I am a virgin. I got kind of forced to being "sexual" by a 11 year old boy when I was only 7 years old. He tried to have "sex" with me, but he only put his 1/2 inch p*nis inside, no moving or anything, just there. So, I consider myself a virgin.. My boyfriend is upset about my past, but I don't think its as bad as his..

Just thinking and imagining of him being with some other girl, in bed, having sex, hurts so much!

I feel disgusted. I have searched this issue that I have online, and people respond, "Past is the past" "Stop being immature". But that doesn't help. I know the past is the past, but he did it and he had sex with those women..

Maybe I'm upset about it since I haven't physically met him yet?

My whole point in this question is HOW do I STOP remembering his past? It plays in my mind like a movie.. I want it to stop.. Everyday we have arguments about this issue and I want it to stop. Please, anyone.. please help me to forget his past. He loves me so much, and he's dealing with this because of me, but I can't stop thinking about it. He said I'm the perfect girl he ever had and that he loves me more than the other girls he's been with. He said I understand him, I can be trusted, that I'm very funny, have a good personality, etc.

Maybe I'm upset because I have a weight problem? Maybe I'm upset that the girls are prettier than me? He said I'm more beautiful than them, but I don't seem to believe that..
Please help and please be kind to me. I don't want to be offended or be more upset due to mean comments. Thanks for your help. :(

I do in a sense know where you're coming from, as I've battled with insecurities myself, but you cannot let it rule your life like this. Unless there are major trust issues here and you have concrete reasons to not trust his words, then let yourself believe him when he tells you how beautiful you are. These problems can definitely put strain on a relationship, and even end them. You absolutely have to accept that he has a sexual past in order to move forward with your relationship. I know that's not the advice you wanted to hear, but unfortunately there's no way around it.

He obviously can't help your insecurities if you don't believe him when he compliments you and reassures you, so it all comes back to how you view yourself. If you're uncomfortable with your weight, there's nothing like a trip to the gym to get a little confidence boost. Do something that makes you feel sexy. Go shopping, buy new underwear, try out a different makeup look- whatever floats your boat. You've got to work on that confidence if you want to stop dwelling on his past experiences. Good luck!

The past is the past. When you start dating seriously there's very little chance that you're going to meet someone that hasn't dated someone else before meeting you.

He didn't know you then, so there's no reason to be jealous. He had past relationships, but that's where they all are, in the past.

Stop dwelling on the past and concentrate on the future.

You say you are online dating for a year and a few months, have you met yet? And you were 17 maybe at the time?

You asked not to mention the age, however its an issue, and something to be looked at.

He at 25 has had more life experience then you, by the time your 25 you will have more experience.

Where does he get off having a go at you because of something that happened when you were 7? Is he having a laugh!

Only ONE of those women took his virginity... just one remember, and I'm sure he was willing, but to say he regrets it 4 times! He's a grown man and entitled to have relationships and a past, the fact that you can't get over it , is your problem,and if you can't then my advice is to reconsider this relationship.

You will find it very difficult to find a man without something in his past, everyone has a past, including you.

Have you ever had counselling from what happened to you at 7?

This could be a factor in what your experiencing now.

I don't think you have dealt with your past sufficiently to be in a healthy adult relationship, as you have issues, and baggage that needs to be dealt with. The online /distance thing is a HUGE factor as it feeds your fears, and insecurities.

I highly suggest you step back, and see where YOUR fear is coming from, and how best to deal with them. Maybe a trusted older female, or friend can guide you better, but guidance on a one on one basis, is clearly needed. Having made a bond with someone you have never met, is almost, dangerous, and desperate, since it has been allowed to go on way too long, without some facts, and some face to face, or human contact.

Trust me a year of filling in your own blanks, without personal human contact is scary to anyone, especially when there are high hopes, and expectations.

Willing to bet, you have very few close contacts or activities in the real world either, and this has become more important to you than maybe it should be. Would I be close to right here??

Well I might be best to answer this one from I was 16 I was partying sleeping with as many girls as I could that went on until I was about 26 then I stopped partying as much I ended up falling for a girl who I knew and liked for years we both loved each other but she said she couldn't trust me because of my past I'm building trust slowly as she means the world to me and yes she trusts me more and more but what I done in the past is in the past I can't change that and your boyfriend can't either you just have to accept it and try and make the most of your relationship don't let it fall apart over a few fumbles in the hay if he means anything to you you will be able to get over it

Why do you not believe him when he says you are the perfect girl for him, that you are funny, can be trusted, understand him, and are more beautiful than any girl he has been with?

I don't know what more he can tell you. It sounds as though he has been very open and honest about his past relationships... perhaps too open. Sometimes it is best not to share every little detail. It serves no point.

It really is the past and you do need to focus on the future as was said. Do you have any plans to meet in person? I think that would be helpful if you could work that out.

Do you think you would be upset with any boyfriend who had been with other girls before you? Maybe, if you find that you can't put this in the past and leave it there, you need to consider finding someone who hasn't been with other girls. This may not be the best type of relationship for you to be in right now.

I understand how you feel. The best choice might be to break up with him and find someone who is a virgin, too. It will provide you a lot of relief and it will allow yourself to be happy. Sometimes the pain is just too much, and it gets to the point where you're better off being with someone that has a past like yours so you can relate and you'll feel comfortable and happy in the relationship. It's a lot easier than trying to get over it everyday and dealing with the pain and misery of the constant movie-like images in your head. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year; it hasn't gotten any easier. Every day is a struggle. So I understand how you feel. My advice might not be the best, but I know I would be much healthier and happier with someone who didn't have a past like my boyfriend.