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    SexDisciple7's Avatar
    SexDisciple7 Posts: 4, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Jan 29, 2011, 07:43 PM
    My wife doesn't orgasm during sex, how can I change this?
    We have good sex, but she just doesn't climax during penetration. I can get her too orgasm using oral stimulation (and that takes a while) but not with my penis. She's a little on the heavy side and is a little uncomfortable with her body. I really just want to please my wife. Preferably without outside help (vibrators). I want it to be as a result of my doing. Any tips or advice? She's 5'1 like 220lbs african american if any of that matters... Help!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jan 29, 2011, 08:29 PM

    It is common not to during penetration, and it sounds like you are having an issue with her weight also ? Her weight has nothing to do with her orgasm, except perhaps some positions may be harder or not possible.

    But you perhaps do a lot of foreplay and have her orgasm several times prior to even starting penetration.

    And you have her tell you what position is working best for her, also things like some of the rings that men wear can help with stimulation.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #3

    Jan 29, 2011, 11:36 PM

    As Chuck said, try different positions and more foreplay.
    Talk to her out of the bedroom and ask her what she might like to try, or what is it that seems to wind her up the most.

    And the condoms that have a little vibrating ring work very well and it is not like having a big vibrator that does it on its own these are enhancers that are barley noticeable.

    A lot can be accomplished through communication. During sex and just in conversation.
    It helps to know exactly what she likes and it builds confidence in how you approach and perform sex.

    Some candles and a bottle of wine to set the mood and tell her how much you want her and that she is a beautiful stimulating woman. Build her confidence and see if that does not help.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #4

    Jan 30, 2011, 02:04 AM

    MANY women never orgasm from penetration. The nerve endings just aren't there.

    Think about it like this: It feels good when she rubs your balls, right? Are you EVER going to get off if she only rubs your balls and never touches your penis? Probably not, right?

    Woman on top and reverse cowgirl are two good positions for women to try to achieve orgasm through intercourse... because they can change the angle to stimulate the clitoris at the same time. You can try manual stimulation during penetration, but I've found that this is just awkward in many sexual positions.

    I really do recommend a vibrator for this... but just a little one. Either one that is situated on a ring for the penis or a little finger vibe that she uses on herself during penetration.

    Sorry, hon. For many, many women, sex feels great, but isn't going to get them off, simply because the nerve endings are mostly in the clitoris, not the vagina.
    SexDisciple7's Avatar
    SexDisciple7 Posts: 4, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Jan 30, 2011, 08:35 AM
    Comment on martinizing2's post
    Thanks for the advice Martinizing2. I'm going to look into the vibrating ring, maybe this with a new position will get her there... Great advice.
    SexDisciple7's Avatar
    SexDisciple7 Posts: 4, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Jan 30, 2011, 08:39 AM
    Comment on Synnen's post
    Synnen I really appreciate how straight forward and honest you were in your response. That's really what I neded to hear. I really want to be able to please my wife and I thought it was something going on on my behalf. Im going to try your suggestions
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #7

    Jan 30, 2011, 05:29 PM

    I agree with the others.

    If I may make a quick suggestion here. Try going down on her until she is close, then stop and have her get on top and try riding it out that way.

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