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polarbear333 · Jan 24, 2011, 01:49 PM

My ex boyfriend owes me money. I sent him bill after bill after bill with no response. In my frustration I sent a few unsavory emails. He filed stalking charges and a restraining order and had them delivered to my work. He filed these charges where his vacation place is 3 hours away. He falsely accused me of many things. The judge ultimately dismissed the charges along with the restraining order was never granted. He has destroyed my reputation in my home town and my reputation as a real estate agent. I want to sue him for defamation but I cannot show money damages. I would like to file a case against him for falsely accusing me and using the court system to hurt me.

smoothy · Jan 24, 2011, 02:11 PM

Do you have money for legal fees... you can't do this yourself... or for free.

You may be better off just walking away.

Keep in mind there are always two sides to a story... and if you push it such as a lawsuit... he is going to present things about you that won't be nice. And nasty breakups are never one sided.

Since his charges were alread thrown out... here is some sound advice.

If you find yourself in a hole... and unable to climb out. THe first thing to do is stop digging it any deeper.

Cutting your losses and walking away may be the cheapest and easiest thing to do in the long run.

Fr_Chuck · Jan 24, 2011, 04:28 PM

So why did you not just sue him for the money in court, instead of bill after bill , after bill and then writing things.

But people are accused of things all the times, in your case, it was dismissed, thus proved not true,

But you will need to hire an attorney, but without any proof of money loss , there really is not a case

polarbear333 · Jan 25, 2011, 01:37 PM

The laws in my state require you attempt to collect the debt on your own first. This is an "unjust enrichment" law suit which I am well aware of requires some doing! Mr. Smoothy, he committed murder and intimidated me out of the project stating that his new girlfriends Hells Angels Xboyfriends connections would come after me if I didn't just leave. I believe I am the one that has dirty deeds to tell, he has nothing! This was after a year of hard labor. I do have an attorney that specializes in these cases and will be filing a suit as soon as I am able. I am also writing a book about this entire ordeal!

smoothy · Jan 25, 2011, 01:44 PM

Keep in mind that's a dangerous group to cross... particularly if any of this comes back to them in general beyond just him. And even then there is a risk because they stick together.

Just an FYI. Be careful.

I was never in a club... but I was close enough to some in years past that were to know the dangers you face if you dealt with them directly or one of their members. But I'm not sure they would stick their necks out very far for an exgirlfiend of a Hells Angel. She is an "EX" assuming she ever really was to begin with.

JudyKayTee · Jan 25, 2011, 04:24 PM

You can only sue for money damages. If you (or your Attorney) can prove money damages (and loss of reputation figures into that), you have a lawsuit.

What did he do to "unjustly enrich" himself? Part of the story must be missing.

polarbear333 · Jan 25, 2011, 08:52 PM

We entered into a business deal,he bought a building,we worked on it for a year. We were going to live happily ever after. We moved 3 hours away from home. Building bought was making very little and uninhabitable. BAD BAD BAD. After the project was over I was muscled out and he takes his wife back after a 2 1/2 year relationship,she offed the boyfriend and he had to clean up the mess. He took her back after she blew 200K of his money and spent every dime on her new biker boyfriend buying him new harleys, trucks, he didn't work so she paid all expenses. Life is stranger than fiction... anywho,the building is now running like a well oiled machine and worth 50-100K more and brings in 10's of 1000's per year in income. She can definitely have him he was a violent piece of your know what (didnt figure that out for 1 1/2 yrs) but she can't have my work... I worked too hard under ****ty conditions. And was repeatedly told that I would always be taken care of for my work even if we did not remain together however I never was!

polarbear333 · Jan 25, 2011, 09:06 PM

The judge was made privy to all of this information and found the charges to be ridiculous.I believe the system was used for the specific purpose of "malice" I did nothing wrong! I didn't do anything remotely close to the true meaning of criminal stalking! And found him to have lied in order to try and "get me" for lack of a better way to say it. And discredit me in any future law suits I place on him. Unfortunately, you have to defend yourself when these claims are made in order to be free of the charges. You are guilty and you have to prove yourself innocent.He lives 3/4 mile up a hill in a log cabin that possesses an arsenal of guns and carries a biker mentality and always carries a gun. Im 5'3" tall 135lbs I don't carry a gun?

JudyKayTee · Jan 26, 2011, 07:28 AM

How long were you involved with him? Is the Court judging you by the company you were keeping?

Retain an Attorney, explain the situaition and sue him.

One problem I do see is your knowledge that his wife "offed" her boyfriend, your boyfriend helped clean up and hide the mess - and you knew about it. Takes you a bit out of the "good guys" category and into the "covering up a murder is a felony" category.

But an Attorney who has seen your paperwork is in a far better place to offer advice.

polarbear333 · Jan 26, 2011, 08:45 AM

I agree that it doesn't make me in the "good guys" category. But please understand that I have been an emotional disaster after this. Do I tell and risk being hurt by the HA's or do I tell and go to jail as an accessory? Either way I lose, and I did nothing wrong! I mistakenly dedicated myself to a man that ultimately betrayed me in every fashion possible. I have called the state police and gave information but honestly... I don't think they care! I want myself out of the murder equation, but I cannot walk away from something I worked for and was ultimately used for nothing more than hard labor.

polarbear333 · Jan 26, 2011, 09:07 AM

I was with him for 2 1/2yrs. First 1 1/2 he was "perfect" boyfriend. But aren't they all in the beginning, then their true personality comes out just when you least expect it. The first real fight (after 1 1/2yrs) we got into was when his tenant didn't pay her rent on-time and he was going to have her "violently raped" in front of her 4 year old daughter by his ex-wifes biker boyfriend. I was mortified and scrambled to help this woman pay her rent to him. I was heartbroken to find out how violent and self serving he truly was. He remodeled his house for me, we house hunted and put an offer in to buy me a house... so we could live happily ever after. Gave me every reason to believe it would be forever! He begged me to be his girlfriend. His ex-wife left him for another man and he swore his Italian ego would never take that back, but ultimately he did but I believe in some way she forced it on him through the murder of her Hells Angels boyfriend. I am glad to be away from him at this point. I can't just walk away when all of this is in my head... I am in therapy and I'm not sure I will ever be whole again!

JudyKayTee · Jan 26, 2011, 09:10 AM

I'm not known for biting my tongue - my husband is Italian. I find his ego is no more and no less than anyone else's ego.

Fill in any other nationality and this would be just as offensive.

I would have been gone when he threatened to have a woman raped - whether it was in front of someone else. I think your problem, as you explain the events, is going to be whether you did or did not have knowledge or an expectation that he would turn on you at some point.

I will mention I was the adult victim of a rape. Anyone who THREATENS rape should be jailed. As far as those who commit it - that's for another thread.

As far as therapy, yes, some things that happen in life stay with us forever and you very well never be whole again. Smarter, very probably; whole - never.

polarbear333 · Jan 28, 2011, 12:22 AM

The Italian ego were his words not mine! The fact remains "he owes me". I worked under the full understanding that I was inevitably going to be part of the financial success of this building when the work was completed. I was an integral part of making that building a well oiled machine and when he chose to go back with his wife he muscled me out by duress and coercion (another part of my law suit). Your interesting and I appreciate your feed back,Judykaytee. It's been a year and Im much stronger now... I forgot to tell you that this was right after my mom died. Crazy... wait till the book comes out! I have both of Laurie and Joseph to thank for one hell of a story line to write a book. And all true! The judge that had the sense to see through these two pieces of crap... I will be sending a signed copy to.

JudyKayTee · Jan 28, 2011, 07:49 AM

Keep us informed about the lawsuit and let us know when the book is published, where we can buy it. I'd certainly be interested.