Thank you for the advice cat! If you check this out again could you help me understand why he does it behind my back but then when I approached him he said he would stop. I asked him to just tell me if he couldn't stop to just tell me instead of continuing breaking his promises, which he made on his own. I said that if he wants we could both do it but I still want a sex life with him he doesn't need to tell me when he is doing it or anything like that I just want to be able to agree on it either way... His answer was no, I asked why and he said thst if I start doing it too then we probably will never have sex. How is this fair? All I want is to be open and honest with each other. I feel like I'm missing out while he is sneaking around.