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    relli4201's Avatar
    relli4201 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 7, 2010, 10:56 PM
    My boyfriend keeps talking to that girl I don't like?
    So there's this girl my boyfriend met his sophomore yr or something like that.. problem is he didn't get to know her till recently and he started calling her a true friend when that's not what you call a true friend someone you just met and hasn't been with you through it all.. and so this girl who I happen to know because I had a class with her through her conversations with my boyfriend she seemed flirty and then they would be txting a lot even when we would be in line for the movies or out hanging out and at first I thought it was a guy till I came across there coments and I saw it was her.. so we had an argument because there was more to it then just "friendly" conversations.. they were barely getting to know each other when we were already going out and it seemed like our thing wasn't as serious because the way they would talk.. we had this argument and he ended up deleting her number and I deleted all my contacts out of fury as well.. he told me he wouldn't talk to her anymore at all and all this time I had believed they wouldn't talk and just because we had an argument they started talking apparently he didn't text her but he has her number registered and is already txting her like nothing.. he told me he didn't think it matterd and wasn't important but how could it not when he knew it bugged me and I was uncomfotable with it... he gets jelous that other guys will talk to me and stuff but I don't even flirt or anything.. it buggs meeeeee so damn much the fact that hell talk to her after he told me he wouldn't.. I don't know what to do? Am I overreacting how do I stop feeling this uncomfort and not letting it bugg me they talk?
    BrOkEn_StAr's Avatar
    BrOkEn_StAr Posts: 37, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Oct 7, 2010, 11:53 PM
    Hmmmmmm its hard and I know how do you feel because I am in da same problem and in a different problems to but you should have tell him if he loves you he wouldn't talk to her even if she is only a friend and if he loves you true love he will trust you and believe in you that you not talking to anyone and not only that he should believe that do don't care about anyone else exapt him and tell him to choose one of us if he want to talk to her that and do't listen to you that means he dosen't love u!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 8, 2010, 02:19 PM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 9, 2010, 04:09 AM
    I have a problem with women who think it is okay to wrangle themselves into position with another man's girlfriend, wife, or significant other. Right off the bat she scores, and knows it, when you and your boyfriend have an argument, and he turns to her. Not very honourable, and not the type of person I would ever have as a friend.

    That being said, your beef is not with her. Your problem is with your boyfriend, who continues to develop a 'friendship' with another woman, outside the relationship. That friendship word gets tossed around a lot, as though it were some sort of stamp of innocence, and thus immune from questioning, or concern.

    You are not seeking the comfort of a male 'friend' when you and your boyfriend argue. That's not the way arguments and differences and problems are solved in a committed relationship.

    I would leave her out of the loop, and instead concentrate on only his behaviour. Only you can decide if he is putting your needs and concerns first, whether you are the most important person in his life, and whether you are prepared to accept his version of 'friendship'. If you are unhappy and unable to accept his behaviour, maybe it is time to decide if the relationship is with a man you can fully trust. Without trust, you have nothing.
    ninjajr92's Avatar
    ninjajr92 Posts: 54, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Oct 9, 2010, 03:38 PM
    Tell him that you don't feel like you guys have a fair relationship. Let him know in a nice conversation that you feel like if he can talk to his friends that are are girls, then you should be able to talk to your guy friends with no problem. The way you described everything with the arguing and what not, he may be annoyed and thinking you are controlling when that's not the case. Just politely bring up that fact and tell him that its bothering you how he lied to you and how he talks to her when he's with you. Try to make examples of similar situations to make him see your point of view. Be honest but don't be aggressive.

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