My boyfriend and I have been dating a little over a year, and we have been living together for a little over 4 months. He never wants to go out with me anywhere... If he amazingly says lets go to the movies, il have to check a calendar and make sure I didn't miss an anniversary. All he does is go out with his friends, gets drunk, and won't come home till 7 or 8 the next morning. He doesn't allow me to have myspace or Facebook, I basically have no friends because he doesn't even allow me to go to the corner by myself. He doesn't allow me to go to school, or get a job (he says moneys fine and I don't need one). He says he is the way he is because he worries about me and wants to keep me safe. But is that really the reason? Ive tried to leave him a few times before but he always changes the story to make it seem like its my fault. I tell him its not working he degrades me and says I just want to be single and party which is not true. Honestly I'm scared to leave, he's threatned me before but I don't want this to be a police matter. He says if I leave and he ever ran into me anywhere and I'm with another man he would kill him (I hope he doesn't mean literally. I just don't know what to do anymore... All advice helps! Thanks

Honestly, you said a lot of it yourself, just read what you wrote and say to yourself, these are the reasons I want to break up with this guy.

Seriously, what kind of guy goes out and parties, but won't even let you have a job? What does he expect, you to stay at home all day and stare at the walls?

Plus he never wants to go out with you! Sounds pretty boring and controlling to me.

What saving grace does he have that makes you stay? Or are you simply afraid of him?

While he is away call a friend, or relative, and tell them to come and get you.

This is beyond a police matter my dear, and its time to get out.

If you have no one to help, a woman's shelter will have counselors, and resources to help you. But its you who must be willing to do whatever it takes to break the isolation, and control he has subjected you to.

It starts with you reaching out for the help you need, so do so now.

Leave him, that's about all I can say to make it simple. You need to get away while the situation is still under control.

Please leave this person, NOW! This is just the start it'll get worse much worse believe me Ive been there and I would tell myself at the start, he will revert back to the nice person I thought he was when I met him, oh boy how blind can one be, he didn't change for the better, although each time he blacked my eyes or raped me he would tell me he was oh so sorry, until the next time and there's always a next time.

Seriously you really must get out of this relationship, it won't improve, he's treating you like dirt, while he goes out does as he pleases.

You're worth more much more you'll find the one for you, but he is definitely not that person.

Please Leave.

You've only been together for a year? Lived together for 4 months? It can only go downhill from here if you stick around. And what would this relationship possibly grow into? He doesn't want to do anything with you but he wants to go out and get drunk and stay out all night? You have to get out of this situation.

I can't help but think that maybe the reason he's so paranoid about you going out or being social is maybe he has something to hide, but that's besides the point. You need to get out of there, preferably without warning.

Please read the 2 files I have attached to this post for you, they may help you see the reality in your situation, and they'll also help you find the strength to get out of it.

I really cannot stress to you enough how you really do have to leave this person. For your peace of mind and physical safety.

Attached Files

control freak.txt (9.5 KB, 260 views)

domestic Violence 1.txt (9.6 KB, 232 views)

Hi I was in a similar situation like yours, till I found that my boyfriend wanted to be in my skin! Lol, I can laugh about it now. I was my boyfriends baby, he wanted to do everything for me including wipe my *** if I let him. Anyway, he would NOT let me go ANYWHERE with out him, I didn't work FOR YEARS and I couldn't attend school either. I ended up marrying him, I also had four daughters by him. Then, my husband grew up and realized he needed my help, and that we couldn't have more money or material things, if I didn't returned to college and furthered my education. At first he was a BUT!! About it, but once I got a job, and he was able to buy a new BMW, life was sweet. Yes, my husband still drinks and don't want me to go anywhere unless he's with me, but that's just an insecurity issue of his, I accepted. I occasionally build his ego with words of encouragement and show some submission and then he's just fine. My husband does laundry, he owns his own trucking company and he also cooks! We have been married 26yrs, and I'm still in Love! But, seriously how you go into the relationship is how your going to go out of it. My husband and I were friends first for 3weeks, before we had sex then a week later we moved in with each other, then three months after that we got married. Hahahaha, He was very possessive and controlling in the beginning, and he's possessive and controlling now! But, SO AM I... DEAR IS DINNER DONE! LOL

Listen! You know better than anyone what you should do, so do it!