I think I know where you're coming from. I too live in a very religious community and was raised a Christian.

excon phrased your issue truthfully and succinctly. But I understand that it's not as simple as it looks. There is no easy answer to your question. You are dealing with a personal crisis about your identity. You think that you may be a homosexual but you can't be, because it's against Christianity, which you value so dearly. Ultimately, it's really a choice between which one do you value more.

I know of two people who have gone through a similar crisis. Both had issues about homosexuality. One is a reluctant lesbian who has had homosexual relations before. But after some time, she decided to be a good Christian so she stopped being a lesbian, got married, and now has a kid. She even preaches about Christianity but has kept mum on being a lesbian or ex-lesbian. The other is an open lesbian who decided early on that she will live the lifestyle. She continues to pursue homosexual relations up to this day but not without her conscience kicking in every now and then. She knows it's a sin and she tries to compensate for it by doing other good works in the hope that she can argue her case before God.

Did they make the right choices? I don't really know. Are they happy? I also don't know but I'd like to think so. The point is that they both dealt with their issues and decided for themselves. It's something that you have to do as well.

You might want to read The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. It's a good, neutral book on spiritual growth. He has interesting discussions on love and religion that may help you.