One's sexual identity has nothing to do with religion, politics, or social expectations and/or norms.

If you are gay, you are gay. If you are bi, you are bi, if you are straight, you're straight.

You would not be the first woman (or man), married (or not), who faces this identity crisis in their lives.

My advice to you is, you need to figure this out, with good information, guidance and advice, with people who are skilled with issues of sexuality, sexual identity, and the changes that coming to terms, means.

Not all churches consider a member who happens to be gay, as less of a person, or less of a christian. It is possible to seek out other people of your faith, who are gay. If you google, 'gay support groups for christians, there are over 2 million hits). You are most definitely not alone in this world trying to figure things out.

You could contact your local social services, and ask for a referral or information to check yourself, on local agencies (many are non profit) who offer support and counselling.

Many Universities are a good resource for counselling and literature on issues surrounding sexual identity.

If you do not inform yourself, talk to people who are, or have been in the same boat as you, or make a good effort in other words, to find out who you are, you are short changing yourself. This one life you have should not be lived as a lie, that to me, in my opinion, is tragic.

Whether you are straight, curious, bi, what have you, I urge you to get the assistance you need to help you resolve this issue once and for all. It has gone on too many years, and in my opinion, this has reached a point of no return. After your sexual encounter with another woman, it is clear you need to step outside your comfort level, and take charge of your own life. Sort out the conflicts, feelings, questions, and guilt.

I hope you do that, rather than remain confused and miserable for another 10 years of your life.