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    Lollydog's Avatar
    Lollydog Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 30, 2010, 05:48 PM
    He Hasn't called or made definite plans - what to do?
    I met this great guy about three weeks ago, and we have since been on four dates, not including hanging out the night we met. Three of those dates were within the same week we met, the first was the very next night. The following wknd I was in a wedding and he flew out to Colorado. That Sunday, he asked me for a date the following wknd. I had to reschedule for the Friday night rather than Saturday afternoon as he had intended, because of a friend's last minute out of town birthday celebration. When I left for out of town, I a) forgot my jacket at his place. I offered to come by to pick it up on my way out but he said he'd keep it safe (I really did this on accident!). He also said, upon parting, "let me know how the lake is." we had also had a conversation the night before about how we weren't Fbook friends and I said I would friend him.

    So, Sunday I added him, and also texted that evening to ask how his wknd had been. He responded positively and later accepted my friend request Tuesday morning. Monday, I just happened to find out about an awesome event I knew he'd appreciate and texted him that afternoon to let him know - he responded asap, asked when, but couldn't because he had a work function. That Friday, when we were out, he commented on how this week was a crazy work week, lots of stuff going on, but there might be a few parties over the wknd he'd let me know about.

    I told him, have fun and ps about something we'd talked about before and he asked me to send it to his email, which he then provided. He then texted me later that night to ask if I'd gone to the event, we texted a little about what he'd done that night, all very positive and responsive. Asked me what I was up to that week, I reciprocated and e again mentioned all the work stuff but that there might be parties this wknd he'd let me know about.

    I emailed him the link the next morning, no response but none really necessary, and he accepted my friend request that am as well.

    My first inclination is duh, he's mentioned he's busy at work with lots of after hrs things going on, and I also know he's getting ready to travel for two or three weeks for work and has a lot to do. Of course, I do as well and am livingy life as normal, as I well should. And he's opened up two new avenues of contact (email and facebook) and said that he would let me know, as well as hold on to my jacket until we meet again - I have no reason to think he won't.

    However, I feel as though I contacted him quite a bit, all at once and I don't want to have scared him off, or made him feel pressured or obligated! It's now Thursday evening, so, three days, which is not that long, especially when he's heavily involved at work, yet I still find myself thinking, it's very close to the wknd, shouldn't I have heard from him by now?

    I feel nuts, honestly. And I'm inclined to just wait it out, as I feel that if he wants to see me, he will make the effort. I feel that I have made it obvious I'm interested, this week, and that any doubts he may have mentioned should be alleviated. Perhaps I have made it too obvious?
    anzalpe's Avatar
    anzalpe Posts: 15, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #2

    Sep 30, 2010, 05:59 PM
    Okay. So I think that you should let this wknd off. Do not text him and nothing to make him notice that you won't suffocate him. He is already stressed because of work you don't want to stress him more. So wait a little, and if he ask you out or try to communicate with you make it a little hard;). But finally go out! Good luck!
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
    Full Member
     
    #3

    Sep 30, 2010, 06:23 PM

    There could many reasons you haven't heard from him, but no matter what that reason is, there isn't anything you can do about it. Best thing for you to do is not wait, just make other plans if you can. No sense worrying about it, that's not going to make any difference.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Oct 1, 2010, 06:21 AM

    beachloverjohn is right. You need to wait for him to contact you. He already told you that he's busy with work activities, so back off a little.

    Don't constantly text and email him or you just might run him off.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Oct 1, 2010, 07:10 AM
    I think instinct is telling you, too much expectation, too soon, after only four dates.

    You don't know him well enough to anticipate what he might be thinking, or how he would react, should react, could react to meeting up again. For all you know, he could be thinking that he really likes you, and because it is such a new relationship, he doesn't want to come on too strong.

    I think you've done all the right things so far. But stop yourself from investing any more time, effort, and brain drain, from wondering what the next possible step may or may not be. After he gets over this particularly busy time as you said, and he's got time to sit and enjoy texting or emailing, it's quite simple. He will contact you if he's interested, and he won't if he isn't.

    In the meanwhile, think of him as just a possibility. A very nice man you've met and dated a few times, and that's it.

    Time and patience are your best friends right now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Oct 2, 2010, 01:35 PM

    We all agree, do your thing, and see what happens, and stop worrying. Even if he gets tied up this weekend, make plans without him. Nothing wrong with him chasing you down, and if he doesn't/can't, you still have your own fun to look forward to.

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