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    Vicky_D's Avatar
    Vicky_D Posts: 254, Reputation: 19
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    #1

    Sep 1, 2010, 02:16 PM
    Boyfriend told me to go and kill myself
    Last night my boyfriend and I got into a horrible argument (over something really stupid but I think it's kind of... personal and maybe inappropriate to talk about on the forum).

    He had this scary psychopathic look in his eyes that I have never seen from him and we've been dating almost two years now. I didn't feel like I did anything wrong at all, and I was just crying and crying my eyes out and he was acting like he totally did not care AT ALL. You wouldn't believe how cold he was. He just kept telling me to "GET OUT, GET OUT" of his house and threatening to throw me out and even call the police because I didn't want to leave... he even tried to man handle me out of the front door. I just wanted to sit down and TALK to him but he was being completely irrational and angry. He kept calling me "stupid" and "dense" and throwing all kinds of abusive hateful comments at me (again, over something really STUPID). He also yelled "WE'RE DONE!" etc...

    Anyway, I told him something so personal many months ago (thinking I could trust him)... that I used to cut myself and one time I had slit my wrist and ended up in the emergency room, (and subsequently, the psych ward). During this argument, he threw that in my face telling me, "Get out! Go slit your wrist again I don't give a ****", when I started to cry. Now I wish I had never told him that at all.

    I couldn't believe he said that to me... he claims to "love" me but how can you say something like that to someone you "love"? I could NEVER say anything like that to someone that I even passively care about on a platonic level (let alone in a romantic relationship with) no matter HOW angry I am.

    He wanted me to leave so he could "cool off" from his anger, but I don't deal with issues in that way. I like to deal with the problem NOW and TALK about it. I was way too upset to drive back to my house in the middle of the night, which is like 20 minutes away.

    We did make up that night and I stayed over and left his house this morning... he was acting all normal and kissing me and telling me "I love you" before I drove off. Is he just ****ing crazy? Could you ever forgive someone who throws something in your face like that? That really hurt me so badly. I don't think I can ever forgive him. Since I will never forgive him for that most likely, maybe I should just end this? I just fear ending another relationship because before him I already went through a bad break-up.

    What makes this all worse is that tomorrow is his birthday (Sep. 2nd) and even though he tried to act like nothing happened (he never even gave a real apology even though he knew he was in the wrong for blowing up like that), I don't know whether I should even say happy birthday or buy him anything. Maybe I should just ignore him now and let it fade away. I don't know.

    :(
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #2

    Sep 1, 2010, 02:30 PM
    It would be easy to say the obvious, and that is to suggest to you that you stop seeing him and move on. But I don't think you will do that, so hers's some advice.

    You boyfriend is in need of anger management. You have got to insist he seeks counseling if the two of you are ever to have a life together. And to make matters worse, you are obviously not strong enough to handle his moods, as you yourself have tried to hurt yourself. This is a very dysfunctional relationship, and if nothing is done, it is just a matter of time before the next outburst. I think you need some space between you two, because you are in an unhealthy relationship. And his anger coupled with your emotional insecurities and low self esteem can only spell disaster without professional help.

    As for you, I assume you are in ongoing therapy. I commend you for that.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #3

    Sep 1, 2010, 03:00 PM

    He's a Psycho... How could you want to be with someone who treats you so badly?

    Please seek help and leave him alone.
    YeloDasy's Avatar
    YeloDasy Posts: 363, Reputation: 81
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    #4

    Sep 1, 2010, 03:10 PM

    You need to have a candid talk with him, let him know how you feel about the conversation, and tell him what you will and will not accept in this relationship. Let him know that you desrve an apology. You two need to work on how to communicate. Some people need to cool off and others do not. You need to give him space when he asks for it. You need to be in counseling for yourself as well.
    As for his birthday, do what you feel is right. You can resolve it before his birthday if you want. Or if you need time, wait for the weekend. Either way you need to decide if you desrve to be treated this way and do you think you can stand your ground?
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #5

    Sep 1, 2010, 03:34 PM

    Hello Vicky,


    Okay, I' going to have to take a wild turn here and take both sides here. With you and with him.

    I know I know, nobody is going to agree with me here and that's OK.

    This is my opinion though.

    First off, even though YOU may handle things a certain way doesn't mean that EVERYONE else does.

    One thing I have learned in relationships is that when my partner is REALLY mad (like your boyfriend was) and asks, tells me, or demands that I leave so that he can cool off. I do! That's where I think you went wrong.

    I believe that you should have left his house so that he can cool off and collect his thoughts. Because every single second you stood there, he got even more upset with you. By you standing there, ended with him saying "Go kill yourself!"

    NOW, don't get me wrong, what he said was rude, crude, and out of line.. He should never say such a thing to the one he "loves".

    However, people (and I'm sure this had happened to a lot of people) say things in the heat of the moment, even if it is uncalled for.

    That is why you should have left when he asked you over and over and over again.

    He may have anger issues, I don't know, I'm only reading your side of the story.

    I think what you should do is to sit down and talk to him just by simply saying that what he said hurt you and that you trusted him with such information, not to ever use that as leverage in an argument.

    Please don't take me the wrong way on this. Just know that even though Vicky likes to sit down and talk right then and there, doesn't mean others do. Some people, including myself needs a moment to collect my thoughts, then proceed.

    Does that make sense?
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #6

    Sep 1, 2010, 03:39 PM

    Tell him how you feel and see what his response is. If you both want to invest the time and energy needed to work together on making your relationship better, and get it to where you would like it to be... go ahead and stick around.

    Otherwise, if either of you isn't that interested, cut your losses and move on. Life is far too short to get caught up in someone else's drama. It may not feel like it now, but there are so many other guys out there who would like to be in a mutually respectful and healthy relationship.
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #7

    Sep 1, 2010, 04:00 PM

    I think that Enigma1999 puts things in proper perspective. Sometimes we, and myself including, are to quick to say " break up, give it up, move on etc, etc.. She made an excellent point in that sometimes when you push peoples buttons, those people would rather be alone at that time, rather then watch their relationship become a screaming match. Some of us say horrible things to each other when it is much easier for the other person to leave, before things that are said you both regret. So we can all learn from this. When you and your loved one are in a heated argument, and one asks the other to leave, it is probably the best thing to do,{though not easy}, and discuss the matter when cooler heads prevail.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #8

    Sep 1, 2010, 04:06 PM

    Vicky, you aren't telling us why he was so angry in the first place and it does make his anger seem out of place and makes you seem more innocent which I am wondering if that is the case.

    Enigma covered the differences in how people handle anger and the need to respect the other person's way quite well. All I am going to say is I have no doubt that he was upset and mad when he first asked you to leave. I am sure that he became furious. I think you would have too if he had tried making you stay had you wanted to leave.

    NO ONE should use personal attacks in an argument. Neither him nor you. That is crossing a boundary and should be discussed when both parties have calmed down. Both individuals should accept and apologize for their part in the fight.

    IF you continue the relationship, the two of you need to have a long serious discussion about what happened. Get everything out on the table and deal with it so that it doesn't cause larger issues later.

    IF you are scared this will happen again and don't think you can trust him, leave the relationship before insecurity, fear, and other negative emotions over-ride any positive ones that are left.
    Vicky_D's Avatar
    Vicky_D Posts: 254, Reputation: 19
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    #9

    Sep 1, 2010, 07:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    Hello Vicky,


    Okay, I' going to have to take a wild turn here and take both sides here. With you and with him.

    I know I know, nobody is going to agree with me here and that's ok.

    This is my opinion though.

    First off, even though YOU may handle things a certain way doesn't mean that EVERYONE else does.

    One thing I have learned in relationships is that when my partner is REALLY mad (like your boyfriend was) and asks, tells me, or demands that I leave so that he can cool off. I do! That's where I think you went wrong.

    I belive that you should have left his house so that he can cool off and collect his thoughts. Because every single second you stood there, he got even more upset with you. By you standing there, ended with him saying "Go kill yourself!"

    NOW, don't get me wrong, what he said was rude, crude, and out of line.. He should never say such a thing to the one he "loves".

    However, people (and I'm sure this had happened to alot of people) say things in the heat of the moment, even if it is uncalled for.

    That is why you should have left when he asked you over and over and over again.

    He may have anger issues, I don't know, I'm only reading your side of the story.

    I think what you should do is to sit down and talk to him just by simply saying that what he said hurt you and that you trusted him with such information, not to ever use that as leverage in an arguement.

    Please don't take me the wrong way on this. Just know that even though Vicky likes to sit down and talk right then and there, doesn't mean others do. Some people, including myself needs a moment to collect my thoughts, then proceed.

    Does that make sense?

    First of all, thanks to everyone for your replies and advice.

    I asked him why he wanted me to leave and he told me he needed to cool off, and that by not leaving I was "disrespecting him".

    Firstly, I don't see how it's "disrespecting him". Maybe he was being disrespectful to ME and MY feelings by expecting me to get behind the wheel of a car when I am extremely upset. I can't drive when I'm angry (well I can, but recklessly), and he knows that. That's why when we go somewhere together and we don't know where we're going/how to get there, he usually drives because I will most likely get lost and frustrated.

    I'm thinking maybe I should say exactly what the argument was about in order to clear things up here lol... it might be inappropriate for this forum, I don't know. You can just see how STUPID this argument was, and how he flipped out over NOTHING...

    OK I'll try to word it in a more "PG" way...

    We were "in bed", and I wanted him to do me a "favor" (wink wink). He suggested "69" and I refused (don't like that position). Then he started *****ing because I didn't want to do something that was "mutually gratifying" and saying that I was being "selfish" (which is not the case, because I was going to do him a "favor" afterward... I don't have a problem with that). Then he went on to complain about how his jaw would hurt blahblahblah and that he already did it earlier that day (I guess there is a limit to once a day?)

    So he eventually gave in and attempted the "favor" on me, and I had a bored look on my face because I was pissed at that point so he just said "**** it" and got really pissed off because he thought I was "not even enjoying it".

    And then from there everything went downhill. Over that stupid ****. Over SEX! He said I "insulted him" and that he was "really angry with me".

    Again, I didn't think that I should have to appease a hot-headed little child who's having a temper tantrum and "leave his house" just because he's getting heated. I just wanted to have a conversation like two adults but apparently that was too much for him.

    Some of you are right, maybe I should just say **** it and leave. Clearly I don't have the "balls" to right now. I'm afraid of being alone... not so much that I'm afraid of being alone, but I just don't like the "broken heart" feeling. It's so devastating.

    I always try to "work things out" but maybe this isn't worth "working out".
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Sep 1, 2010, 07:54 PM

    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Enigma1999 again.

    He had this scary psychopathic look in his eyes that I have never seen from him and we've been dating almost two years now.
    I didn't feel like I did anything wrong at all, and I was just crying and crying my eyes out and he was acting like he totally did not care AT ALL. You wouldn't believe how cold he was. He just kept telling me to "GET OUT, GET OUT" of his house and threatening to throw me out and even call the police because I didn't want to leave...he even tried to man handle me out of the front door.
    I just wanted to sit down and TALK to him but he was being completely irrational and angry. He kept calling me "stupid" and "dense" and throwing all kinds of abusive hateful comments at me (again, over something really STUPID). He also yelled "WE'RE DONE!" etc...
    I have no clue what you were thinking, but you should have left, just to diffuse the situation. Trying to reason rationally with a nut job going off is totally unreasonable, and not smart and you would have saved yourself a lot of hurt from his words had you just left. Its important that you know that, because that's what you did that was totally wrong.

    Since I have no clue what really started this whole thing, nor care, as whatever it was, you both behaved very badly toward each other. If neither of you learns from this mistake, it will surely be repeated, so start by being honest with yourself for your part in this unfortunate situation. That doesn't mean all the fault is yours, he has some too.

    Let the dust settle until cooler heads can talk, and listen.


    Edited after reading the reason

    You should have just left.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #11

    Sep 1, 2010, 08:38 PM
    You two are like fire and gasoline. You don't belong together. Neither of
    Know how to stop the fighting.

    He brings up your past and you won't let him walk away when he gets angry. This is only going to get worse because I see neither of you changing.

    You bring out the worst in each other. Counseling may help, but unless you and he are ready to try , it's senseless going on and on.

    Leave each other alone.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #12

    Sep 1, 2010, 08:47 PM

    It sounds as if you two have issues with communication. In order to have a successful relationship, there must be communication. I also believe that you two have a toxic relationship with using your pasts as leverage in arguments. How I see it is both of you are to blame. Vicky, you push and push, meaning when asked to leave, you refuse. That alone can/would drive someone to saying hurtful things. I also believe that you also throw things up at him in argument. We are here to help guide you, and we want to see you succeed in your relationship, but, you have to take ownership here as well that both parties are to blame.

    QUOTE by Kitkat22;
    You two are like fire and gasoline. You don't belong together. Neither of
    Know how to stop the fighting.

    He brings up your past and you won't let him walk away when he gets angry. This is only going to get worse because I see neither of you changing.

    You bring out the worst in each other. Counseling may help, but unless you and he are ready to try , it's senseless going on and on.

    Leave each other alone.
    I agree Kit. Had to spread the rep.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #13

    Sep 1, 2010, 09:30 PM

    I think not wanting to drive when you are that upset is a completely legitimate reason not to leave. However, when two people are that upset it's also not a good time to talk. Someone always gets hurt. And you can't force someone to talk to you anyway.

    A good compromise would have been to tell him you were afraid to drive but that you would go sit in another room until you were calm enough to drive. Let him cool off. Go home when you were able.

    The relationship sounds very troubled. What he said may be hard or impossible for you to forgive and the general tone of your interactions just doesn't sound very happy or loving. I would also be worried by the violence of his reaction. Once this sort of thing begins in a relationship, I think it tends to happen again in one form or another.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #14

    Sep 2, 2010, 02:37 AM
    Let me get this straight.

    You have an 'argument', and it gets heated. You don't have the sense of a billygoat to walk away and cool off, as he clearly wanted to do. You wanted to solve the argument NOW as you said. That is clearly a sign of immaturity, aggressive behaviour, and selfish, stubborn, self serving behaviour. You knew the argument was not going to be 'solved', so why did you keep hammering at him.

    You have the strength to argue and force yourself in his face about it, when he's actually trying to get you out the door- still you keep fighting. All this energy, all this defiance and indignance, yet, you were too upset to drive 20 minutes home?? I should think that in your frame of mind, being so angry, you could have jogged home in record time.

    But the point is, you don't fight fair. And then it keeps getting more and more ugly and out of control, and when HE wanted it to stop, you just kept right on going. No matter what, you were going to be heard, and damn the torpedoes.

    And after you fuled the fire, refused to leave, refused to stop arguing, refused all his attempts at diffusing the situation, you are pinpointing one crappy thing he said to you? I can only imagine what YOU said to HIM.

    If this is the way the two of you argue, that does not bode well for healthy communication on any level. Your temper and behaviour is all that you can control, and you are clearly not in control of it.

    Arguments to this extent, are violent, dangerous, and unproductive, to say the least. If you don't learn how to control yourself, and realize that you have to compromise and know when to walk away when you are so totally out of control, how on earth will you sustain any relationship.

    My advise to you is to realize what faults YOU have, and not blame anybody but yourself for your own actions, and in this case, what your actions fueled in this argument. Accept what you have done and contributed to the situation you found yourself in, because you are the only one that can be held accountable for your actions. No matter how many excuses you throw on the pile, you are in charge- of you.

    You certainly know that you should have walked away when he asked you to leave. And still you insisted on staying. Time for a little personal attention to your anger and control issues, in my opinion.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #15

    Sep 2, 2010, 04:06 AM

    Others have made excellent points about the differences people have in how they handle disagreements and arguments.

    Your way it not necessarily the way it works best for someone else and you do need to respect that.

    Again, talk to him when things are calm and decide how you are going to work together to have better communication. Really listen and refrain from wanting to get him to think like you do. (which is hard for many people!)

    Set boundries together... compromise on a cooling off period but then he will come back to talk it out with you a bit later... no name calling or saying hurtful things, and apologize if it does happen. Whatever the two of you agree on that will work for you both to better deal with whatever may come up.

    Expect some slip ups now and then at first which are common when trying to retrain yourselves to work better together.

    If after time, it isn't changing how you think it should for you to remain, you may have to make other decisions about where the relationship is going.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #16

    Sep 2, 2010, 05:23 AM
    Vicky, here is a lesson for the future. If there is a disagreement in bed don't attempt to continue 'relations' at that time. Both people need time to calm down and reset the mood from the beginning. Trying to continue when you are upset is asking for more problems as I hope you have learned.

    You both made mistakes. You could have gone out and sat in your car (like thousands of people before you) until you calmed down enough to drive or he calmed down enough to talk.

    I think you need to decide why you are in this relationship and if it is for the wrong reasons. Perhaps, he needs to do the same thing. If either of you are in it because you don't want to be alone or go through the 'break up' phase and feelings, then the relationship needs to end. No anger. No accusations. No Contact.

    IF you both really do care about each other and want to build a future together, then you need to sit down and discuss how to communicate with each other. Cover things like how to let each other know that a cooling off period is needed BEFORE a disagreement becomes a fight and how to discuss sexual matters when you aren't in bed.

    Whether you stay or leave, take time to learn how to communicate and compromise with your partner (this one or the next one).
    YeloDasy's Avatar
    YeloDasy Posts: 363, Reputation: 81
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    #17

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:40 AM

    Hind sight is 20-20, but the deal is you two have issues with communication and sex. You need to stop trying to deal rationally with irrational ideas and thoughts. His excuses about wanting this his way is bed is not respectful, and you need to just leave it, and talk about it when the time is right. Issues need to be reolved in the big picture, not in the moment. These are two HUGE issues and ultimately there is disrespect in the relationship, not just that conversation. Look at the relationship... really evaluate it, then have your talk with him. You need to talk about what is going well and what is not, see if you are both willing to make a difference, and then do it.

    You also need to start working on yourself! STAT!! :)
    Shadowburn's Avatar
    Shadowburn Posts: 249, Reputation: 179
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    #18

    Sep 2, 2010, 07:54 AM

    Please get yourself in counseling. Slashing wrists is a sign of a borderline personality disorder, you need help. And being in such a tumultuous relationship will guarantee to make you feel worse.
    Vicky_D's Avatar
    Vicky_D Posts: 254, Reputation: 19
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    #19

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:43 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    Let me get this straight.

    You have an 'argument', and it gets heated. You don't have the sense of a billygoat to walk away and cool off, as he clearly wanted to do. You wanted to solve the argument NOW as you said. That is clearly a sign of immaturity, aggressive behaviour, and selfish, stubborn, self serving behaviour. You knew the argument was not going to be 'solved', so why did you keep hammering at him.

    You have the strength to argue and force yourself in his face about it, when he's actually trying to get you out the door- still you keep fighting. All this energy, all this defiance and indignance, yet, you were too upset to drive 20 minutes home??? I should think that in your frame of mind, being so angry, you could have jogged home in record time.

    But the point is, you don't fight fair. And then it keeps getting more and more ugly and out of control, and when HE wanted it to stop, you just kept right on going. No matter what, you were going to be heard, and damn the torpedoes.

    And after you fuled the fire, refused to leave, refused to stop arguing, refused all his attempts at diffusing the situation, you are pinpointing one crappy thing he said to you? I can only imagine what YOU said to HIM.

    If this is the way the two of you argue, that does not bode well for healthy communication on any level. Your temper and behaviour is all that you can control, and you are clearly not in control of it.

    Arguments to this extent, are violent, dangerous, and unproductive, to say the least. If you don't learn how to control yourself, and realize that you have to compromise and know when to walk away when you are so totally out of control, how on earth will you sustain any relationship.

    My advise to you is to realize what faults YOU have, and not blame anybody but yourself for your own actions, and in this case, what your actions fueled in this argument. Accept what you have done and contributed to the situation you found yourself in, because you are the only one that can be held accountable for your actions. No matter how many excuses you throw on the pile, you are in charge- of you.

    You certainly know that you should have walked away when he asked you to leave. And still you insisted on staying. Time for a little personal attention to your anger and control issues, in my opinion.

    I really do not appreciate this response, at all. I was not being AGGRESSIVE or IN HIS FACE. I was VERY CALM and asking him to "calm down" so that we can talk. I was NOT calling him names or being verbally abusive in ANY WAY. He was being verbally abusive and hateful towards me. All I wanted to do was talk about it whenever he calmed down. I didn't see how I would have to GO HOME in order for him to CALM DOWN and stop acting like a 12 year old having a temper tantrum. I just sat in his room until he calmed down and he eventually asked, "do you want to talk now"? And then we talked and made up.

    I wasn't "fighting" with him at all. I was asking him to calm down so that we could talk. That's it! I wasn't "in his face" being aggressive and "fighting". I wasn't ARGUING with him. I was ASKING HIM TO CALM DOWN SO THAT WE COULD TALK.

    I don't know how many different ways I have to say that in order to get the point across. I am NOT an argumentative person. AGAIN, I wanted him to CALM DOWN so that we could talk.

    I said nothing to insult him at all. He called me stupid, I didn't retaliate with anything other than "wow", and I said "calling me stupid/dense really doesn't help your argument and isn't necessary".

    He clearly has anger issues, which is why I really don't think it's worth being with him anymore. He flipped out over oral sex (I explained the reason for the argument in a later post)... you would think I had just told him I cheated on him or something.

    Anyway, I don't feel that I was in the wrong for "not leaving" because I was not confronting him. I just sat there wanting him to calm down and he was being a total and utter ****head trying to throw me out of the front door.
    Vicky_D's Avatar
    Vicky_D Posts: 254, Reputation: 19
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    #20

    Sep 2, 2010, 09:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shadowburn View Post
    Please get yourself in counseling. Slashing wrists is a sign of a borderline personality disorder, you need help. And being in such a tumultuous relationship will guarantee to make you feel worse.
    I'm not sure if I made this clear enough, but I USED TO cut myself. This is something I revealed to him a long time ago and he recently threw it in my face to hurt me. I am not a "cutter" anymore, and I have not been for a long time. I am doing much better emotionally than I was years ago.

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