Dear kitkat405,
First of all being depressed is no crime
we are all depressed at some point in a day or in life. For ex. One of my friends is always blue at mornings. I have heard people feeling sad in winters, some before the exams, others when they drive or have to cook a big feast. We all have it in some way or the other.
I am myself depressed & I am seeing a psychiatrist & also a therapist. I am also on zoloft. I am 29 years old & I also had difficulty to reach medical care due to my insurance. Even though I was taking zoloft & had regular visits to the professionals, I ended up commiting suicide. It was this June. However, luckily my dad found it out & I was saved in time. My depression got worse to the extent that each day all I could think was how to end myself BUT now I am different.
From June to August, I have improved amazingly, and let me share with you how:
1. Singing: I have a dozen thoughts bothering me, I usually worry a lot but (although I am a poor singer) when I start to sing, I can't think anymore, so please try to sing, sing anything you like.
2. Healing Music: I panic when I have to do any kind of work or be in a stressful situation, so I always play some classical melody in the room before I attempt at doing something. It helps to fall asleep too. You can have plenty on Youtube.
3. Diet: I have made a notebook since June, and I write everything that I eat. Now I can see pattern that when I eat Avocados, Walnuts, drink milk, pepperment tea, eat fruits, I tend to be in better mood. Also eating meat has helped me. I tend to avoid junk food & pasta, because it tends to have influence over my mood. Try to balance your diet.
4. Breathing: this has helped me a lot. Try to close your eyes & relax your limbs, then inhale a deep breath from your nose & after a count of 1,2,3...exhale it from your mouth. Concentrate on your breathing & empty your thought box, repeat the breathing till you feel a bit relaxed. Try it whenever you are feeling blue.
5. Tear newspapers: there are times when I feel helpless without a reason, then I find some old newspapers & tear them into pieces. This takes effort & energy & after tearing several newspapers I feel quiet calm
you may try this too.
6. Pet: find a pet & take care of it. I have the tendency to focus on myself & in a negative way. I have got a stray cat & I am taking care of it. This helps me in keeping myself busy & focusing on someone else. With depression the problem is that you tend to think negative about yourself, and a pet helps you keep the thoughts a little straight.
7. Writing: it might be tough but try to write, write every day. Write about things you like, things that you think are good in life, in your city, in your country, in world. Actually it requires talent because we can all pick bad to worse things happening around but to find what we consider is GOOD, is actually difficult. By doing more of this, you will realize that after all things are not that bad.
8. Creativity: when you create something with your own hands, you feel that you have accomplished something. It can be anything. I like to cook so sometimes I cook something new. It doesn't come out good but it involves me & I feel that I have at least done something & the result is out there in front of me.
9. Take pictures: this helps too. When you are living a life, after a day or two you only remember big events. By always taking pictures, you tend to capture moments that attract your attention. It could be anything, like taking pictures of flowers, scenery, furniture (lol), food, your wardrobe, anything. The point is to make a scrap book out of it, so when the time passes by & you look at the collection of your pictures, you will automatically remember a little good moment that went by. Pictures help you bring out good memories. Goofy pictures bring smiles
And kitkat405, always remember that no matter what, even if the world falls apart, still you will be alright, all will be well. We all do. I have lived a very stressful life & been through a lot in 29 years but I always tell myself that I am going to be alright because I am the one who is going to take good care of myself. Most of the times my mind still runs wild & doesn't believe me, but still I know there will come a day when it will realize that what I am trying to tell it every single day, is actually the answer to happiness.
Best of Luck