Please listen to your self! "Can I make myself bleed?" What utter nonsense!

Regardless of your familia situation, you are no longer a virgin.

I only slightly understand the pressure your family is putting on you.

Here in America it was considered a serious social disgrace if a girl had sex before marriage. This also applied even if the couple were engaged.

That's gone now. People no longer care. Personally I believe this is wrong, but that's just an opinion.

The man that your family is pushing on you, is he demanding that you be a virgin?

Personnally, if you do not want this marriage you should walk away now, if this is at all possible. Otherwise, say nothing about the fact that you are not a virgin. However, if he asks, please tell the truth it will save much more in the long run.

Also, there is no way that he would be able to know you are not a virgin. There are many ways that a Hyman can be torn. For example, just the use of a Tampon could tear the Hyman.

Please, do not borrow trouble. Be honest, it may blow up in your face this time, but if it becomes an issue after you are married, it will be horrific.