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    Kutie20's Avatar
    Kutie20 Posts: 22, Reputation: 4
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    #1

    Aug 2, 2007, 10:29 PM
    My husband and mother in law are driving me crazy!
    My name is Sarah.I am 20 years old and I have been married for 2 years. I love my husband with every breath in my body. We have a son who is 10 months old. But lately... for about the last 9 months or so. My husband keeps pushing me to move to Idaho. Which we talked about before we were married that I would not move. My whole family is here and I want my son to grow up around all of his cousins and stuff. He agreed that we would not move. But now it is all he talks about. His mother keeps finding all of these really low paying jobs that do not have health insurance. All which he now want to take. I have some medical problems and our son will need health insurance as well. So we cannot go without it. I keep telling them both that not only was it discussed before we got married that I was not moving but also that there is no way to support a family on the wages. Their answer is well we will just get on the state aid. I was raised to believe that welfare is for people who actually need it. For people who may not be able to work not for a while or something you know. But I am getting so frustrated. My husband has a good job. It pays well. It got us out of debt and it has EXCELLENT medical. But all he does is complain. And his family babies him so much on it. Then his mom told me that he would not feel like this if I was doing my duties as a housewife. Which in her terms are to cook clean and have sex. Also she said I was a bad mother and wife if I was not going do what is best for my husband. You have to realise my husband is 29 years old. And all he does is what his mother wants. THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY and she is driving us apart. What do I do??
    dcole's Avatar
    dcole Posts: 38, Reputation: 8
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    #2

    Aug 2, 2007, 11:20 PM
    Sounds like your husband is still trying to be a son to his mother instead of a husband and a father to you and your child. Tell him to be the man in your life and not the child in his mother's life (ha ha - dr laura dribble - I know). You should ask him to tell his mother to respect you and keep the advice to herself unless you request it. Since you already discussed where you would live (smart girl), there shouldn't be any question on moving. And if he's unhappy in his job, he should start looking for another well paying job that meets the needs of your family - IN THE SAME TOWN. Make sure that he understands you perfectly that you will not move and maybe he'll focus his energy on finding happiness where he is now. I wouldn't want to move any closer to an unsupportive mother-in-law who's going to interfere further in your marriage (one more point to bring up to your husband). Good luck and be firm.
    otto186's Avatar
    otto186 Posts: 152, Reputation: 14
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    #3

    Aug 5, 2007, 07:14 PM
    Its not really fair though if you think about it. I kind of have the same situation. Your live around your family but he can not live around his. You need to find a city away from both that way your not showing favoritism to one side of the family. I am originally from Kentucky and my wife is from California. So to make it fair we live away from both in Flordia
    Kutie20's Avatar
    Kutie20 Posts: 22, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Aug 5, 2007, 11:51 PM
    Otto186: I have issues that I need to stay with family though. I told him also before we got married that I was not willing to move you have to keep that in mind too. He said that was fine with him. Now because his mommy wants him to move he wants to take all these half jobs. It is not fair to me or to our son.

    Dcole: Thank you. The only problem is is that he says his mom is right. Nothing can interfere there. His mom is like everything to him. Which that I have no problem but it is the fact that he lets his mom say all of this stuff to me and does not say anything to her. I am still so confused and frustrated but thank you so much for your help.
    kareness56's Avatar
    kareness56 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 22, 2010, 09:52 PM

    Have you ever heard the expression "Speak now or for ever hold your piece" You will be in an unhappy life if you do not come to an agreement, if not follow your heart and ask God to give you strength to go the right road, Good Luck God BLess,, Karen

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