I am addicted to meth but no one knows. Not my husband or kids or anyone really. I want to stop so bad but don't want them to know.

The addiction really has you in it's grip,doesn't it?

The worst thing you can do is keep it a secret.The less you expose it,the easier it will be to use again, why not? no one knows right now,what would stop you again if they have no idea?

Shame is a powerful tool used by the addiction, don't fall prey to it.

I told my daughter, now got to tell my husband and I am terrified :confused: but you were right it does make it easier to use again and harder to stop because I keep putting it off. Them knowing is going to force me to take action. My reason for not wanting them to know was dissappointing them AGAIN! I hate this evil drug so much!

Any addiction is like this,you just have to remember you are not alone in this, seek N/A meetings,get the support,it is available, others like myself are there for you,don't just do it alone,get support from those that have been down this road themselves,anybody with withdraw experiences,anyone who has been clean for some time,someone you think you can trust.

I started going to AA meetings back in '85,and although I don't go nearly as often today,I still set up a base for my ongoing recovery,lifelong friends,constant contacts with those who are and will stay sober,etc.

Use the free program to benefit your family and your life.

Hope to someday see you around the tables:)

This is so hard. Im trying to do it cold turkey and I feel like I am going to loose it seriously. Its not getting any better and I don't know wihat to do. Im on day 4 and its only getting worse. Would it be a bad thing to give my body a little to relieve this horrible feeling? How long is this going to last?

Keep it up you have 4 days under your belt. Don't ruin it. Yes, it would be a bad thing. You will relapse. Just keep remembering that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it isn't a train.

You can get through this. Have you sought out NA yet? They would be so helpful to you right now.

I also go with J-9's advice, to use now is to start all over again,please don't sabotage yourself,once through this,you need to remember how this felt,the next time you want to use,remembering how horrible this is can be a real deterrent for relapse.

How long will this last, I honestly can't say, I know that soon it will loose it's edge though, the body and mind desire something it was used to,now you are taking it away, make it for good.

You can access NA online and on the phone

http://web.na.org/?ID=phoneline for the number in your area, check the area code and it'll show the closest contact number,ask them for a live person contact, it is totally free,these people have been where you are at and want to help.

NA Meeting Locator For meetings around you, (if I copied it correctly).. try them tonight, right now... call before you use!

I have to ask, are you sure that your family doesn't know about your addiction? That's a hard habit to hide. Your husband is your partner, in sickness and in health. You are not a bad person. You are a sick person who sees that she has a problem. Surround yourself with loving support.

If you were to sit down with your husband, and have a heart to heart talk about this, how would he respond?

You both have a cry, and get on the road to a clean life.

I'm in recovery myself, and couldn't imagine being successful without the help of my wife. She was my guiding light. And God of course.

You really need to be properly detoxed, and get into a rehab facilty, and then a 12 step program like NA, or AA. If you want to skip the first two steps( it has been done, but not recommended), please make sure you go to NA. GET A SPONSOR. The support is amazing. It's anonymous, free, and worldwide. There is a meeting near you, tonight. Don't play with substance abuse. It will tax your very soul.

I know the hell you are going through. I am so glad to be free of the demon of addition, and pray for YOUR successful recovery. Come back and let us know how things are going.

Thank you very much for each of your responses. I have not used. When I told my husband what Ive been doing I gave it to him. He wanted me to flush it but I wasn't sure at the time if I should do it cold turkey or not. He is def my rock and will do anything for me, except give me that just because I want him to. I so don't want to give in or put him in the position to make that decision, Im just scared to go to anyone else I guess. What makes this the hardest is that I am so busy at work and so behind and have felt so sick that Im getting further behind (we have our own business) I keep thinking if I just do it once more so I can work, but I know that's not the answer and its stuipid but yet I still think it... I know I just need to fight through the pain and work its just so incredibly harder than anything. But when people like you guys who don't know me care enough to take the time to give me advise and encourgment helps me want to try even harder. I do think I should find someone like NA to talk to as well. I feel like Im going to go crazy if these overwhelming urges don't go away soon. Im new at this sorry for babbling, my mind is just processing so much!
Thank you again for helping me get through another day without using this horrible drug!

I ended up telling him. I too knew I couldn't get through this without him.

Don't forget,you are not alone,there have already been some here who can encourage you, now get someone close to home to help, they are discrete,the program is called Narcotics anonymous.Anonymity is the foundation of the program, no one else needs to know besides those you address,once in the comfort of others who have suffered as you are,you will find some peace,I did,many millions worldwide do, daily.

Please try to call the helpline,the meeting finder, reach out for your own good.

You might think no one else knows you used, but in reality,they probably had suspicions.As hard as it was for me to hide my addiction(and I always thought I did quite well),others close to me knew, maybe not the actual drugs,but my actions,my lack of communication,moodiness,etc,I didn't hide the moodiness too well:(

Any time you want to write back and just add to this thread, not a problem, the whole reason we are here is for the help of others,you aren't carrying on or being difficult at all,we encourage your participation 100%:)

Believe it or not it's not just about stopping the use. You will need support to STAY clean. Thus NA, and the support of a sponsor.

You will be tried. You will be tempted. You will "validate" your using "one more time". It sure is nice to have the support of people who have been there, and who can help you through it all.

And throw away your stash. Get that out of the picture. And delete your dealer's phone number. Burn those bridges. You may lose some "friends".

Please don't try to do it alone. Like NA states," many have tried ..to no avail..." It is there for people like us.

I wish you luck on your journey. God bless.

However you got addicted to this in the first place is the first thing you must totally eliminate from your life. You can't just have a little bit to take the edge off. NO! Do not do this as it won't work.

You are stronger than the meth if you say so to yourself. You need to remember what you were like before you got addicted and keep that picture of you in your mind what you were like THEN. Put a photo up of you when you were happy before this addiction. Keep looking at it and saying that's me and I'll be me again real soon.

Glad you told your immediate family about this. They can help you stay clean.

Hi guys, Just thought Id check in with you. I have not used! My husband and oldest daughter have been super supportive. Im still super tired and don't have a lot of energy, so Im hoping that will come back soon. I still haven't got the nerve to contact NA but I know I should and I want to because when I do get urges my daughter and husband tell me I don't need it and I can just push through it, although they are 100% right its easy for them to say it, they don't do it. I feel I need to hear it and get talked through it from people who know what Im going through and who have felt what Im feeling. Idk why it is so hard for me to just do it. I feel like such a idiot because Im old enough to know better and I have so much in my life to be thankful for yet I did this AGAIN. 1st time perscription pills, well I get them perscribed to me because I have degeneritive disc disease, arthritus and several other issues with my back and I started doing more than what I was given, I have that under control now and never buy more. Only what Im given by the doctor, and the 2nd time was cocaine. I didn't go to rehab for any of them but I don't think I really got over it, I basically replaced and didn't think Id have a problem because I didn't do as much of the meth, well until it had a hold of me and then I didn't want to tell my husband I did it again because I felt so stupid, so I kept it to myself and tried and tried to quit. That went on for about 2 years until I told them almost 2 weeks ago. So I know I probably need to I just can't seem to find the courage. I really don't want it to happen again. I want to say I am fully aware I cannot do something just a little and be fine but is that enough. I do appreciate all the advice and encouragement you guys have given me on here, that is helping me right now. So thank you again

Very big,Hooray for you,for not using!!

Please do this soon.

There is nothing that made my clean time more solid permanent than seeking advice from others who are going through the same as I did.

As you said,how can they know what it's like when they haven't used, it doesn't make them non participants in your sobriety,they are a huge support system, at home.

N/A is not only at home(through the use of a sponsor whom you can contact almost anytime) but the meetings with other 'birds-of-a-feather'.

If the actual meetings is difficult,perhaps N/A online would be a start?

Good for you on your abstinence.

But remember, that you are clinging to the edge of a deep abyss. Seek a 12 step program to increase your chance of STAYING clean.

There is nothing to be ashamed about. You will meet people who are much worse than you are.

Get a sponsor. Someone who can give you support over the phone.

And yes, you are right. No one knows the trouble you are in . No one who HASN'T had to battle the addiction demon.

Good luck to you.

Well done on your four days... However, recovery is difficult trying to face on your own - chances are you will use again, it's just a matter of time. Now there is a proven program of recovery with NA and or AA where you will find like minded people. If you think you are not that bad, then you definitely need to get to a meeting. Part of the insanity of using is that we think no one knows what we are doing, that we are too clever, etc. The truth is that those who do not know normally think we are mentally unwell instead! If you are willing to go to any lengths to keep yourself clean, then you maybe ready to take certain steps. Do it for yourself. If you want to stay clean, you need to help another addict stay clean. If you don't help others, by sharing your experience, strength and hope, then what has been the purpose of it all?

I just found out my boyfriend has been doing meth for 3 months! I found his pipe and my truck! He told me that he hasn't used n 6 days now! But I don't know if I can trust him! I need help and fast! He got me so upset that I got hospitalized and they watched my heart and blood persure! They doctor told me that I can't get upset like that again! My boyfriend said because of what he did to me that he is really going to stop now and not go back to it! What should I do?

If he is an addict, then he probably has best intentions. Meth is a dangerous drug. You can't save him, and you are quite right, he can't be trusted... not at this stage, it takes time. If he is not actively going to NA meetings then you have two choices, you either stay with him, and slide down with him, or you step away, so that he can take the steps he needs to. If he says he can do it on his own, chances are he will be lying to you that he is clean. It's a well known fact that we can't do it on our own, and live in a sane manner at the same time. It's good that he has not used for 6 days, however, it probably is only between fixes... he may have run out of money or not been able to score. If that vehicle got pulled over, and he didn't own up to the pipe then you would be charged also. Rehab and NA are the most effective steps. Learn about the symptoms so you know how to detect it. It wasn't my choice of drug, and I am so glad that I never got caught in it, but I have seen the results in many people. They are quite insane for a good six months after coming off it. Going to Alanon, or something like that will give you the support you need, so that you don't remain part of the problem, because you will find that somewhere along the way you have been enabling him. Time to get tough. He is a sick person, not a bad person. Clean people always tend to count the exact days that they haven't been used. Note what he says in a calendar, so you can double check. The minute you pick up any consistencies there is a chance he will be fibbing. Loving my kids wasn't enough to stop me. I had to reach a rock bottom, and you may have to step back to allow that to happen for him. He cannot get clean for anybody else except himself. If you are a foundation, then it is not a solid enough one. If you step away, you will see the signs have been there for a long time. I wish you well.