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    dragonflyval's Avatar
    dragonflyval Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 9, 2010, 07:23 PM
    Is this a sign of disrespect in my marriage??
    My husband slaps my butt and grabs my chest waking me up in the middle of the night. He knows he does it and that it wakes me & quite often I can't go back to sleep. Isn't this utter disrespect & why would he do this to me knowing what it does to me? I have asked him to stop and he claims he doesn't know what he is doing... bull! He talks to me sometimes while doing this. What would be a good way to get him to stop without him blowing up at me?
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #2

    Feb 9, 2010, 07:39 PM

    He may not know he is doing it. He may have a condition along the lines of sleepwalking/talking in his sleep. There are a couple of them that the person seems totally awake and responsive, but they are, in fact, sound asleep. I would suggest having him talk to is doctor.

    Tell him that you are concerned about his health and get him to see a doctor about his nocturnal hi-jinx. If he won't then, be honest with him that you think he knows what he is doing and you aren't putting up with it any more. He can sleep on the couch, floor, or spare bedroom.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Feb 9, 2010, 07:53 PM

    Or he may be hoping to get lucky, Perhaps he needs to have some sleep studies done on his sleep habits,
    dragonflyval's Avatar
    dragonflyval Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 9, 2010, 08:40 PM
    Thank You for the ideas and help.


    Hoping to get lucky... no... there are zero issues there! We never have to hope... it is very wonderfully abundant. Which is why I am so frustrated.
    dustdevil's Avatar
    dustdevil Posts: 53, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Feb 9, 2010, 11:33 PM

    I suffer from sexsomnia which is a form of parasomnia. Usually Monster energy drinks 6-8 hours before bed are the catalyst. It occurs 1-2 hours into sleep.

    I'll grope breasts/crotch, kiss and even have sex in my sleep. Unfortunately my brain isn't 'awake', so if the wife is wearing underwear I don't have the ability to understand that it's there, and try to penetrate that anyway.

    Not much I can really do about my behavior. Usually I wake up in the middle of having sex. I'm highly energetic while I'm doing this stuff asleep, however once I 'wake up' in the middle of the act, I'm incredibly tired and confused, and usually just roll over and go back to sleep.

    My wife would get upset because at the time, I didn't initiate sex often (low testosterone), but I did in my sleep.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #6

    Feb 10, 2010, 03:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dragonflyval View Post
    Thank You for the ideas and help.
    I hope if it is a medical issue that he is willing to get help. Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Feb 11, 2010, 11:44 AM

    He sounds like he has a sleep disorder, so instead of getting mad get a doctor. If he gets mad wake him up next time, and tell him he sleeps on the couch until he at least checks it out.

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