Dondi,
Thanks for the explanation.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

I'm trying to imagine this whole thing. You are a youth pastor. Are you male or female?

Anyhoo, the kids in your group approach you with this predicament. "Is it okay if we masturbate IF we don't look at any porn or think about anything "nasty"? And you keep a straight face I assume, and say, "let me get back to you on that."
I'll go to AMHD and see what I can find out. "Until I come back with an answer, just hold that thought.' Don't do anything yet.

I know it seems like I am making light of what you consider a serious subject. But that's just it. It is not a serious subject. Isn't it much better that they get their God given natural desires met alone than with other partners. The ultimate in safe sex. That's like getting permission to scratch your own itch.

Actually, I am male. I did not tell them to wait but I came here to further research the subject. Yes I kept a straight face for the fact that this is a real problem in their lives

I've always used the rule of thumb that if you have to ask or even wonder if something is wrong... it is.
Cozyk is right saying basically it's better than hooking up with a partner to risk disease or pregnancy. The sex life doesn't get out of hand that way,(Joke) but that doesn't address the problem of putting our own selfish pleasure ahead of what is best for us. Each must be firmly convinced in their own mind that what God wants IS what is best for us though we often cannot see it at the time.

Would someone please tell me the harm?

Cosyk,
Most masturbation, from the literature I've read and my own experience involves viewing or reading about sexual exploits that trigger the imagination. People are viewed as objects of desire rather than humans that need love. Other people are viewed as a means to an end in satisfying individual pleasure... a "what can they do for me or how can they give me pleasure" rather than what can I do for them. In the mind there is one partner after another, all different shapes and sizes and the seeming boredness of the same partner day after day drives people to promiscuity. If these kids really don't get turned on by reading or viewing literature or by imagining they are rare indeed. I've met a lot of guys that were hooked on porn, myself included, and none were able to maintain a solid monogamous relationship because the mind is always wondering as the eye is always wandering.

Hello homesell:

I've met people who were hooked on alcohol and it ruined their lives... Some of them blamed drink for their problems... However, the vast majority can drink with no harmful effects...

Your experiences are just that - YOUR experiences... They are NOT universal.

Porn is good, and whacking off is pretty good too.

excon

excon,
I Never said my experience was universal, even said it was my own experience and the experiences of others I had met. Are you in a monogamous relationship excon?

I agree with you that these passages show that we need to abstain from thoughts and pleasures that were not reserved for an unmarried person. Thanks for the answer

From my point of view, I find that masturbation can impair what a normal healthy sex life with your spouse can be. It seems to make it quick and almost shameful for the person who practices masturbation. That's my point of view. Take it or leave it. BTW, the spelling probably isn't right lol

God gave me a body and he gave me (sexual) feelings.
I haven't had sex in 12 years because I don't have a partner, I can not have intercourse with somebody if I do not have feelings for this person. But I do have sexual feelings whether I like it or not, especially in the days of my period... must be a natural thing God created for us and animals to be sure we will multiply, must be the way he likes to see it. Why would I deny any feelings from myself as a gift of God whether its physical or spiritual? Yes I masturbate and Im not ashamed of it, I do not need any porn pictures or fantasy I just love my body and can have a spiritual or physical orgasm if I want to. Its true you can have an orgasm without using your body it is exploring your spiritual world beyond the physical plane.

Thank you Lighterr for your kind words.
And to Cozyk great post LOL !

To Doni I would like to say:
The important thing for teenagers is to know that experiencing sexual feelings is not wrong. These feelings are normal for their development. Like Cozyk is asking all the time: what is the danger about masturbating what harm can it do?
Sexual feelings are strong feelings and nice to feel and something that feels very nice, is something you would like to experience more and often and that is what teenagers should know. Addiction comes around when the more and often are becoming uncontrolable. Sexaddiction is said to be the hardest addiction to get rid off. It ruins the image from the beauty of sexuality.
Because we are talking about a very delicate issue and there are differences in experiencing sexuality openness and clear communication about sexuality is very important.

1. Sin is sin for both man and woman OK, as far as sexual. Fornication is fornication if you are male or female.

2.So my question is this. Is your question only about women because you already think it is OK for a man to masterbate and are wondering if a woman can? Just a thought. You might want to reword your question.

3. I am divorced, my husband was abusive. If I had to I would masterbate before I would be with another abuser.

4.And I have not found a man who did not have some abusive tendencies yet... the ones who are supposed to be Godly. They do not even have the courage to pursue me. Or the energy. I do not want to wait for the knowledge that a relationship with any man who dates me is going somepalce. I plan on getting married one more time before I die.

5. I am not judgeing you since I do not read minds. But God does not have double standards...

honeysinger1967,
Yes God does not have double standards.
I'm interested in seeing any answer to your questions.
Peace and kindness,
Fred

No no I wasn't asking about women because I think its OK for a man. I am not a woman, so I am not privy to the way a female mind thinks. I kept getting differing opinions on this subject so I thought Id see what the world had to say. Most are in agreement of what I had told her all along. That is, it is an act reserved for marriage

In the Bible, when you reference the whole "spilling your seed on the ground is wrong" thing, that story in the Bible has NOTHING to do with masturbation.
When Onan would lie with Tamar, instead of releasing inside of her to help her produce offspring, he spilled his seed on the ground. He was avoiding his command to produce offspring for his brother. THIS was wicked to the Lord.
Genesis 38:8-10

As far as masturbation goes, I believe we have God-given desires. We are not supposed to lust after other people or imagine having sex with them. I do not think that to masterbate and climax is at ALL sin, but rather to look at porn and imagine sexual things in your mind is straying from purity, and therefore sin.
However, I do not believe that this is really even a true issue. We all have problems enough. I think masturbation can be healthy. When it becomes addictive or something that takes place of God in your life or pulls you away from God, then it's a problem.

Dondi,
For men OR women masturbation is a sin.
So the bible indicates.
Fred

Acura
I can understand if men cast their seed on their floor, but women don't have seed that they cast on the floor.
How does it apply to woman as sin?
Thanks
Renee

Im a christian and if pornography is involved there is a problem if not I don't really think it is a sin.

My reading is that it's a sin no matter who is doing it - what religion teaches you that it is not?

EDIT: 14 years old on an adult board.