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    sheema_1's Avatar
    sheema_1 Posts: 70, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jun 25, 2009, 11:50 PM
    How to explain Depression to my husband
    Hey all I just need some help on how to explain depression to my husband,

    I was diagnosed recently with depression after yr's of cutting myself, I finally decided to change my ways and have been trying to stop the cutting which has lead to me being depressed but I am finding it near impossible over the past few months just seems to be getting worse to the point where daily I wish my life would just end, I don't want to die just over being sad and feeling like and I really need my partner to support me because I want to beat this but I don't feel like I can do it on my own.

    I tried asking my partner for help but he seems to turn his back or just get angry at me because he don't know how to deal with it (I totally understand he don't mean it but it don't make it hurt any less) and then I'm lefting hurting myself even more, A viscous cycle that I am over.

    When I told him I was going to do counseling he was all for it and said he would support me threw it.

    But past few months since I was diagnosed with depression have just been going down hill and now he says stuff like you have to be realistic it's not convenient to be depressed early in the morning or vis verse for late at night
    Like if I could choose when I would be depressed I would turn it off for good, But he don't seem to get that at all.

    I don't feel like I can handle this anymore and I need his support because I have no one else so any suggestions would be great.


    P.s hope it makes sense
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Jun 26, 2009, 07:55 AM

    Have you identified what is causing this depression? Is it something in particular that you think of and instantaneously make you depress.

    Have your counselor placed you on any medication?

    Your husband needs to read information about depression, and even I think at some point should be included in your counseling session? Just as thought, if he isn't educated on depression, he isn't going to understand.

    You are taking steps to get better which is good that you are trying, Keep trying as you are doing.

    It isn't going to happen over-night.

    But take it one day at a time, try to find out what it is that is causing this, and then you can began to try to make it better. Don't get frustrated because things aren't happening as fast as you want them to.
    sotgo2009's Avatar
    sotgo2009 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jun 27, 2009, 02:14 AM

    All I can say to your situation is, I feel bad and I am sorry you are going through rough time. I'll be praying for you.

    My advice to you would be, if you can't get your partner to assist you through this rough time, then that shows you what kind of partner you are dealing with. You should be able to tell your partner you need help, and that partner should be able to help you. If not, that 's not a real partner.

    I want you to start, developing new habits, instead of going back your old ways of cutting yourself, it won't do you no good. Start exercising more, get out and have fun, live your life, dance, find some great friends. Get the help you need, because you have to decide for yourself, that you are responsible for you, your health, your life, and your future. If no one wants to help, then you get up on your two feet and get the help you need ASAP. With or without support, there is support in recovery clinics, counseling, believing in your faith, getting around great and positive people, you just have to make a decision and get out there and get the help you need for yourself, if not who's going to do it for you? So I dare and challenge you to develop healthy new habits for 21 days. Don't settle in depression that not you! You are full of joy, god's love and peace. Start repeating affirmations everyday in the mirror, what you desire in your life to change, you many not believe the things you say at first, but if you consistently do it everyday for 21 days, watch your life change. I promise you. You are great and you are coming out of depression. Say I'm getting better everyday in every way. God loves you. Peace
    sheema_1's Avatar
    sheema_1 Posts: 70, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jun 28, 2009, 04:53 PM
    Hey guys thanks for replying to my thread =] means a lot
    Jolienoire, Nah the doc's haven't put me on any med's but I want to try and get threw this depression without the med's.
    So far I identified my depression to be from cutting, Which is caused from feelings such as anger, Frustration.

    As for my husband that is exactly my prob he don't understand and it's scares him seeing me so low (which I totally understand scares me too)
    I have had a pretty good this week out of the whole week I was depressed just the once and I'm loving that, feels great.


    Sotgo, I sorry but I don't follow any religion, not my thing, I don't think you read my post clearly sorry if I didn't make it clear, I am getting help for myself counselling and depression grp which we are learning to be mindfulness and CBT (cognitive brain therapy)... And my husband is the love of my life, It's not that he won't support me. It's the fact he don't know how too.
    With 2 children it isn't that easy to get out all the time, I have positive people around me but that don't change anything as know1 knows about my depression.

    I don't expect anyone to do this for me I know that I need to do this, Just don't like hurting my husband and If he understood better then he would handle it all better.

    Overall I am a very positive person I believe in myself and think I am beautiful inside and out but that's the prob with depression though is after I cut I get into the nasty cycle which is hard to break but I am getting there slowly.

    <3
    Lesko04's Avatar
    Lesko04 Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jun 30, 2009, 07:13 AM
    How old are you? Did you also get meds prescribed for your depression when they diagnosed it? Clinical Depression is real and it's tough. Please stop cutting yourself. I know your hurting, that is just making it worse. I think your husband is scared and he knows this is bigger than the both of you. He truly doesn't understand what and how you are feeling inside if he thinks you can turn it on and off. He should talk to a support group for the loved ones a depressed person. You need therapy, some with him, but mostly a lot without him for you, about you and you only. Discuss your needs, fears, and reasons you think might wish to hurt yourself with self mutilation. You can't work on your marriage until you work on you. Concentrate of you and your Mental Healing, the rest will work itself out as you progress with care and treatment. If you are on meds, following them as prescribed. I work in Mental Health, and that is the biggest setback for patients, not being compliant with their meds. The medication can't work right if you don't take it right. If your insurance won't cover therapy, call a Psychiartrist in your phone book, the receptionist should know of a Community Mental Health Facility, they are usually pretty good about treating patients with no insurance and little money for expensive co-pays. Please get help for yourself and all those that care about you. It will be worth it.
    Lesko04's Avatar
    Lesko04 Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #6

    Jun 30, 2009, 07:25 AM
    I just read one of your responses to a thread. You said you would like to get over this without taking medication. That is great in theory, however, it's not always possible. If this destructive behavior continues, please consider the meds. They have advanced a lot in today's world, you have small children to think of. You can't want them to see mommy like this. I'm not sure if you know it or not, but a lot of children will live what they have learned. An alcoholic wife beating man more times than not watched his dad do that to his mother when he was a child. Do you want your kids to grow up cutting? It's a real possibility. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I know you probably think your hiding it and they don't know. It's only a matter of time and they will. Please just consider all your options, the sooner you get healthy the better for your entire family.

    Take care and talk to your supportive family every time you feel like hurting yourself.
    sheema_1's Avatar
    sheema_1 Posts: 70, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
     
    #7

    Jun 30, 2009, 07:09 PM
    Hey Lesko
    Thanks for your response, I am fully aware that kids learn from what we do Not what we say... That is why I don't hide that I'm sad from them, I've explained in lame terms to them that I'm sad atm and getting help to be happy again, They have never seen me cut myself and never will. I always cover them up after so they are not aware of them but I do understand they pick up on stuff easy.
    If the doc's think I should take med's then I will consider it then but for now I would rather try with out meds.

    I have been doing my depression grp for 2 weeks and I already can see a difference with in myself but I know this will take time and may come back time to time just got to keep practicing healthy thinking and healthy coping methods to reduce my depression and cutting.

    <3
    Lesko04's Avatar
    Lesko04 Posts: 24, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 30, 2009, 10:08 PM

    Good luck to you... I wish you all the best
    nuchter's Avatar
    nuchter Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:48 PM
    Maybe this can help...
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/how-explain-depression-husband-369143.html
    nuchter's Avatar
    nuchter Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:48 PM
    Maybe this can help...
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/how-explain-depression-husband-369143.html

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