A few issues here. First, I doubt that your rights were actually terminated. Termination means you can never get them or only get them back by a set list of reasons. If a court would take that away because one parent was absent, most of the kids in the country would only have 1 legal parent. More likely you lost custody and got no visitation. That is very different. A decent lawyer would be able to challenge that and get you visitation.
As for support, unless the child was adopted, even if your rights were terminated (which I doubt), you should still be on the hook for child support. So in essense, yes, that is correct.
She can tell the judge at most any age. 18 is when the judge has to care. Some states instruct the judge to use the child's wishes in weighing their decision, but ultimately it is the decision of the court.
Bottom line: you need a lawyer.