I've been intrested in my boss for 4 months. I have given him a lot compliments. I asked him last week if he would have lunch with me at my house and he said "I'll get in trouble".
Yesterday I asked him after work if he wanted to go out for pizza and he said he had to get home ( he's married with 2 kids but he took off his wedding ring n Jan.)

Well today I told him I was attracted to him and if I have offended him or made him feel unconfortable with me asking him out I wanted to apologize.. becuse I didn't want to get in trouble or make this a harassment issue. He said " no i am not offended nor do you make me feel unconfortable.. he said you have nothing to worry about ..I am not like that".. My question is do you think he likes me too and is too afraid to say? And if so do you think I should make anthr move and tell him , I won't tell anybody at the job if doesn't. Should I tell him we can have a discreet relationship!! Please help with your answers.

He is married with 2 children.

The answer is no. Do not continue with this fantasy. It is not healthy. Do not ask. No relationship.

Move on.

I want to know do you think he like me too? Or do you think he is enjoying the attention

I think most likely he is flattered at the attention. All people like to know at times others can still find them attractive.

The issue is, he is not going for it, and if you push it any more he can merely fire you.

In fact he needs to report this already to cover hisself so he does not get into trouble.

You need to stop first because he is married

Next since most likely he could be fired for it.

It does not matter. Whether he likes you or not. I know your asking this question but whether he is enjoying the attention or not. He is married with kids and you know he is married with kids so you should no that he is off limits.

People can not help but have feelings for others or attractions to others but please do not let this lead to something that will destroy many lives. It is just a warning, cautionary warning for you.

Dear mybossnme,

Be careful of attractions, they can often lead to disaster, especailly when the some one you are attracted to is having marital issues. If he and his wife split, he will need time to get himself back together, this usually takes a year or so. In most cases, any relationship before that one year is a rebound.

What are you looking for with your boss? He seems to be dealing with a lot and it maybe wisest to just leave him be for a time. Let the things he is trying to work on unfold so he can deal with it.

This may be an odd question but what do you think about yourself? Who are you? Also, Why is your boss "attractive"?

"How often one sees people looking far and wide for what they are holding in their hands? Why! I am doing it myself at this very moment." ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

"The tongue like a sharp knife kills with out drawing blood. Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world."-Buddha

May peace and kindness be with you.

Yeah. You want to date your boss. And I want $20 million dollars, I want to be 6 ft 5" and I want bigger breasts. Good luck with that mybossnme. Don't come crying to this website when the rug is pulled out from under your low-self-esteem a--. This boss gets the BEST of two worlds. TWO pieces of A--. No responsibility to you. He'll dump you just as quickly when you get NEEDY and move on to the next girl in the office.

It always ends the same. The boss wins and the girls crawl out of the woodwork crying and carrying on.

I'm sure YOU are the exception. YOU will be able to change his whole world and make him leave his wife. Yeah YOU. Because, you are just so different and so much more special than the rest.

Why would you play into this and give him what he wants?

It's women like YOU who enable men to continue to be disgusting pigs! Thanks a pant load little miss no-self-esteem-can't-find-a-REAL-man.

Ugh.

You need counselling. Did your Dad cheat on your Mom?

Yes he enjoys the attention, no he doesn't like you IN THAT WAY. You are chasing a delusion - and this is a disaster. Get over yourself and act responsibly. Geez. I am so embarrassed for you. Are you serious?

I agree with the others
At most you can more likely be in the unemployment line than anything coming of this. Also many guys find girls that are aggressive unattractive. I would quit pushing the issue. He told you already thanks but no thanks.
Like the others said he is married and it doesn't matter one iota what he thinks of you
You would be better asking a stranger on the street for an honest evaluation than pursuing this guy.

Why are you so angery? Or more to the point, what are you afraid of? :confused:

If she was delusional, why would you be so aggressive about it? Relax my friend, she is not you.

"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into." ~Author Unknown

"The tongue like a sharp knife kills with out drawing blood. Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.
Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others. Consider only by what one’s self is done or is left undone."-buddha

May peace and kindness be with you.

If you were the wife how would you feel about a woman that made such suggestions to your husband?

I am not angery. I am angry. Angry with this post. It is low-self esteem women and girls (such as this one) that enable some men to cheat on their spouses. If no female girl or woman EVER offered up herself to a married man, then NO man would ever be able to cheat, would he?

a man who is a pig cannot be changed - cheating men will always cheat. But, a smart woman or smart girl can CHANGE her actions and refrain from such poor-taste behaviour. She can choose the high-road of dignity and self-respect.

I am disappointed that this mybossnme's mother or father did not instill her with proper values or morals. It is a shame, and just makes her look like the fool.

Nestorian, if you are open to loose values/morals of infidelity than I too am sad for you.

Hi Nestorian,

You can quote scripture all day and night long. I am simply embarrassed for this girl and the choice she is making for herself is ill-advised. Other posts have indicated that other members are telling her that this is not a good idea. Wouldn't you agree? She is asking for advice, and I am trying to make it clear to her - by being very sharp with my tongue and language - that her head is not necessarily screwed on properly. It is true that I cannot reason her out of anything. Fine. She doesn't need a good reason or a bad reason. I'm simply offering my opinion. This scenario is doomed and I feel so awful for her because I'm embarrassed that any girl would actually act on a very-real-feeling but very-dangerous and morally wrong instinct. I'm shaking my head "no" and wondering to myself: where are her parents and what happened to her as a child? Does she have no dignity?

Good day and peace.

Yep sometimes being blunt and straightforward is the only way to get people to wake up to their behavior.

Hmmm, correct you are, I did misspell "angry", Though I think my misspelling just opend my eyes to a hilarious joke. My apologies for this little note, but, I said, "Why are you so an-GER-y? Haha, that is kinda funny and ironic. haha. Once again my appologies if that little unintentional joke offended you.

Perhaps she does have low self-esteem? But what of your self-esteem?? Please, avoid over generallizing some one as if the only quality they have is low self-esteem. There apears to be more to her than that. I can see that there is a potential for great wisedom with in her, even more than that of I, for she is asking the right questions, " My question is do you think he likes me too and is too afraid to say? And if so do you think I should make anthr move and tell him , I won't tell anybody at the job if doesn't. Should I tell him we can have a discreet relationship!! Please help with your answers." - OP She apears to be confused, her feelings are driving her toward one thing, her mind seems undecided what it wants, and her spirit seems free and adventurous. But once again, I do not know enough about her to assume anything with out feeling like a fool. (To assume is to make an A$$ of U and ME. :p, I learned how to spell that word because of that joke.) The last part she is asking for help, and guidence. It seems unwise to tell some one asking for help that they are less than. That only solidifies the idea in their minds that they are and should act as you have said. I"m not entirely sure why that happens, but I've seen it a lot, especially when people are genuinely confused and seeking advice.

"...enable some men to cheat on their spouses."-Bonnie46;1673373. Interesting indeed. It would apear you hold men incapable of self control, and women responsible for sexual enconters? (KEY WORD, "apear".) Very facinating choice of words as well; "Enable... men... cheat... their spouses." What about women who cheat on their husbands? This is becoming quite common happening these days, I volunteer at a court house and it's just as likely that you see a father with his kids because his wife cheated on him and is acting erratically. There are still more women than man being cheated on, but now it seems its become a revolving door to witch both sexes are taking advantage of. I feel bad for the poor confused kids.:(

Men do rape women, and female girls. The man must choose for himself what he will do. If he isn't man enough to keep it in his pants, then I guess he isn't a man at all... Or is he? He maybe a human being the best human he knows how to be? :confused: Hmmm, indeed.

"a man who is a pig cannot be changed - cheating men will always cheat."- Bonnie46;1673373
“[Luke:] I can’t believe it. [Yoda:] That is why you fail.”-Master Yoda

Now I know jedi's are not real, in the known solarsystem, but as I find myself opening up to life, I find that one phrase helps to guid my mind, and thus my actions. "Wisedom maybe found every where, we need only listen."-Me There maybe wisedom in what Yoda says, fictional or not, it's possible that it's meaning is worth more than movie made.

"We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our worlds. All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence."-Buddha

We as human beings are all conditioned since the day we are born. Psychology has proven this time and time again. Now, there is a way to reverse this conditioned response we were born with. Than is we can become aware of the condition, then break it down into manageble pieces, find a way to alter your thinking and thus behaviour, and then be consistent and persistent. As Yoda would say, "Do or do not, there is no try."

Perhaps that is ture, a smart girl would refrain from conducting such "poor" behaviour, then again... With out the wisedom to use smarts/intelegance they can use their smarts to preform what you may consider even more ill-advised behaviours.

Yes, she can choose the high road of dignity and self respect. So could we all, but very very few ever do. She is as much a human being as that of any of us.

"proper values or morals"-Bonnie46;1673373. Hmmm, define these standards you speak of, I'm curious to know what you believe is "proper".

"Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?" ~Maurice Freehill
I can see great wisedom in this phrase, especailly when put in context with your belief that she looks a fool. She may look a fool, but she does not apear to "be" a fool.

"Nestorian, if you are open to loose values/morals of infidelity than I too am sad for you."-Bonnie46;1673373

I appreciate your concern, but feel no sadness for me.
"Love is my ally, life is my goal,
Respect is my accomplishment."-Me

If one is not open to the possibilities, then one may not question the possibilites, and if one can not question, then one can not understand the possibilites. Even if it seems like the "absolute truth", beware that life maybe pliable, altering the truth. I simply flow with life when ever possible, less I forget to, but I try to bb ever mindful of the shifts in energy/life and I try to work with it, even if it's against my beliefs. Our beliefs seem to be nothing more than conditioned ideals. They may change with each moment we live.


May peace and kindness be with you. Have you something you have not yet forgiven yourself for? I know I have...

Good grief!

The boss has not propositioned her, she has asked him out, twice (that we know of).

Clearly he has made it known that he is married, has two kids, and goes home after work. He has done nothing wrong.

I hope that his wife does know about this, and the two of them have a good laugh over dinner. I know I would.

He has nothing to hide, and nothing to lose. He's not taken her up on her offers, and probably won't.

The problem is the moral bankruptcy of the one wishing to pursue a married man, despite all the obvious facts that he is not available.

The question is, why does she pursue married men in the first place.

Aren't there single available guys where you live instead of you trying to go after your married boss with kids?

You come off as a woman that goes after what she wants but setting your eyes on someone who you knows is married and acting on it is morally wrong above anything. So that leads me to ask you where are your morals?

What would've happen if he had said yes? You would've put yourself in a hot mess. I am guess he didn't take you up on your offer but somehow I don't think your able to deal with his turn down.

In the future don't approach married men and your bosses. Both of those things are negatives.

He is married girl that means hands off you are totally disrespectful move on do not turn this into a fatal attraction, clue he loves his wife and kids that is why he is still there... get some morals

I have no clue what he is thinking as I am not a mind reader.From what he has said I think you need to back off.He has given you no encouragement.

Saying he will get in trouble is a nice way of blowing you off.It is a legitimate reason.

There are boundaries you do not cross and you have already crossed a few.

He is your boss and he is married,ring or no ring,its unacceptable for you to come on to him and it makes you look bad.

It is a disaster waiting to happen.

Next time you want to ask a married man out all you have to do is ask their wife. If the wife say yes then yes.