Thanks Starlite1! :)

Okay, well I think it all depends on exactly what the fight was about. Have you tired just showing up and talking to her face and face. I know when I was with my ex, and I told him some important news, he quit talking to me and it took me showing up where he couldn't avoid me, to actually talk about it.

You know in this world, we have the good ones and the a$$holes who think they can talk down to people, but once they get a taste of their own medicine they shut up.

An update...

Well just made it home and he talked about her. Surprise right? Not.

But guess it was the beer in me but I didn't mind. I actually liked hearing about her. Dam right?

Anyway, he said that when she talks to him, supposedly the frist thing she asks is how I am and if he has heard from me.

He went on to say that she said that she will always love me but that she couldn't get past my "shortcomings" and NO its not my manhood. Fyi. But he went on to ask this::::

He asked me to be the godfather of his kid and that SHE was going to be the godmother! The ceremony is April 26. What's going on here gang??

Don't know what to make of this...

But I do know this everyone... while it was really cool to hear about her and how much she loves me... I know I know... if she did she would be with me... but it was fun.BUT

When I wound down tonight... I was very sad. I started thinking about her and all the things we used to do etc... how well... u all know what I'm talking about.

I was taking a shower and I thought , you know before tonight, I was very busy and guys I have to tell you that I didn't think of her for 2 days. I used to always think of her every minute... well now what? Now I'm down. Sh$t.

Well... everyone... lesson to be learned... hittn my head against a brick wall... all of that and what you said was true. Anyone that has followed my posts... listen to everyone's advice cause its true!

Dam... wish I never went out with this guy... the only thing that it did was to lower myself esteem... and to make me back in a funk... I am once again, depressed because all of my memories come back to haunt me and my decisions and actions and the "what ifs" and especially the: I WOULD do it this way... if only..

Anyway... it was a bad move.

Now like I said, this guy wants me to be the godfather and my ex is going to be the godmother. I can't say no because how can you say no? I'm really scre##d

All that I have to look forward to is false hope and my ex who will try to be "distant" from me to show me that she has moved on...

HELP!!

Oh Buck up guy, you can't let every little thing that comes up depress you, or lower yourself esteem.

This has never been about her, or what she does, or him, and what he does. Its always about what you do to handle your own feelings, and the situations that life puts you in.

Now get off your frakkin' pity pot, and go do something good for yourself.

YES SIR talaniman... tough love. I gotchya.

Hey talaniman... im not sure if I can put other links on this board, I don't want to get banned but here's one that I think makes a lot of sense about me and my situation... everyone... check this out... it might help you!

Thanks,
25 Signs your Narcissistic or Borderline Wife or Girlfriend is Traumatizing You « A Shrink for Men

Hi everyone... I was hangin out with some coworkers after work today and I stopped to think about my ex. When I was thinking about her, I thought about something interesting... I felt as if she was a memory and I knew she was hot and all but it didn't bother me that much that I wasn't with her. Anyway just wanted to share my feelings with youall... whether that changes, I don't know, all I know is that at this point in time... ive progressed to there. It was very different for me... I mean it just felt strange.

Hi everyone... an update... I know everyone out there is thinking that I'm going round and round with nothing really new... but I'm doing good thanks to all of u.

Well here's what's going on now and I really really need any input...

Our mutal friend told me that my ex loves me... that I know... whether I should be with her is another.

Anyway the bottom line is that she said that she wants to get back with me.

She hasn't called or emailed me... because she doesn't have them anymore.. I changed them.

Anyway... your NC rule worked it seems.

Of course now my problem and confusion...

What do you think I should do? I can get back with her but not on her terms anymore.. if I do, then I would take it slow... maybe sleep with her a month into it... I don't know. The point is... I was thinking that I would just hang out with her.. not take her BS and again just see her and us.. in a new light from all the help I have received here.

I don't know if she can change. I don't know if I want to try again. My feelings for has changed for sure... any feedback please!!

I know it is soooo cliché, but an ex is an ex for a reason, and that reason rarely changes.

Once again, your stupid "mutual friend" has you confused. If she wants you, let her find you, no more of this middle man BS that throws you for a loop. You will know her true feelings when it is coming out of her mouth, not his.

OK thank you very much kctiger!

It amazes me that you have stayed in this relationship this long I'm a girl and I don't think I have ever treated any guy like this ever and I wouldn't be able to she sounds really spoiled and arrogant just because she is beautiful on the out side doesn't mean she is in the inside beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that! I wouldn't care less id she looked like jennifer aniston fact is she is childish and immature and you are worse for letting it get to this stage you need to stand up for yourself and put your foot down ye are adults and you shouldn't entertain her nonsense I say don't text her or call her leave her alone and let her think about it she knows well you only on the other end of the phone so don't be afraid that she won't know you care about her caring about her will be letting her know that she needs to grow up and that you have had enough of playing games with her this is not what the real world is about and I'm sure you have protected her from this by letting her mistreat you she will soon find out that people will not stand for this at all your too soft on her I'm sure that's just your nature and I'm sure you love to spoil the one you love and why not that is your progitive but what good is it to you when she takes it for granted any girl would only love to have you ar their boyfriend so you take that in your stride head up now and show the world your confidence

Had you manned up, and looked after your own interests in February, you would have been doing your own thing, and pursuing better options by now, and wouldn't be confused by her, or her yacky friend.

WOW! Those are a lot of thoughts you guys. But before I answer you... let me tell you this...

Update...

Now, our "mutual friend" left me a voicemail yesterday evening and said: "call me man, because i have something really important to tell you...."

Um, like I told you all, I just FELT that my ex was talking to him and that he more than obliged in letting me know that NOW she wishes to talk to me.. her highness.

I did NOT respond to his voicemail... and today, he writes me on Facebook saying that he left me a message because... my ex... told him that "SHE REALLY WANTS TO TALK TO ME AND THAT SHE WANTS TO GET A HOLD OF ME SO THAT WE BOTH CAN "talk"....

how bout them apples?!

i felt that it would be rude not to email him back or anything...he sent me some more "texts" just to see if i was there....i think that he was wondering why i didnt call him back when he told me.

now i know he has good intentions but i think tha he is enjoying his power role a little to much...WHY? well my gut is telling me, dont know how else to explain it.

anyway, i facebooked him back saying something completely different...NOT EVEN BRINGING HER UP OR HIS MESSAGE THAT HE LEFT.

well i know her well, and i know she is asking him if he "gave" me the message. and hes telling her....well i did...but he didnt say anything about it... :)

i know im playing games....but you know, its kinda fun right now. like i said...if anything she never liked to be ignored.

anyway, im sure she either wants to get back with me OR which i would think...she wants to meet me so that she can not feel GUILTY about what she did. thats how she is. you know i read on another site that abusive women like her...never really intend to leave...they get power by threating to leave and always come back. i dont know if this is true or not but, remember guys, she left me for about 2 months last time...and then she got back with me to only leave me like 3 more times since she last broke up with me 2 months ago! SHEESH!!! what i do for the one i love right? :)

so thats where we are guys....ill keep u posted...its like a soap opera.

on another note...alana1xxx, u have alot of good points...u say true things. and u know, that because i have done NC with her now...im sure she is getting the picture that it is MUCH different than it ever has been. whoever she is with, isnt taking her BS like i did...and she misses that, i think. and yeah, i am a nice guy in nature so all of this has been really hard and disappointing for me...thanks for ur comments....

and talaniman...im not confused by her...but our "mutual" friend really is starting to bother me... I try to talk about other stuff but he steers the conversation to her... and makes me feel bad because I miss her and love her. I was really hurt and down and although I really felt good... after hanging out with him, I felt like my emotions were backt at square one. :( but, I'm doing OK again... so not too many worries...

But man I have a dread about answering this guy... hes going to keep on... bringing her up saying that she wants to talk to me... I just don't want to right now. I want some time alone. If I want to get back with her then we would have to talk long and hard... I can't avoid him... so I'm not sure what to say except that I'm very busy working right now... and that ill let him know. Remember guys, she doesn't have my email or numbers... he does though and he can't give them to her without doing so without me... so he's stuck about that.

And about manning up... come on, I'm a different person than when I started this thread.. and it has been ALL of everyone's input that has given me the strength to be like this... otherwise... I would have called him back as soon as he left me that voicemail. So please keep up the comments. :) but I get you, being strong like that is what I could have done... but I am learning how to be like that. Its harder said than done. Especially to a woman that you were going to marry.

And alana1xxx,

She is very beautiful... better than jennifer aniston. No question. But yeah, just real ugly on the inside... it confused me because how can something so pretty be so bad? U know... and when we are together, if you know what I mean, she shows a very nice and tender side of her personality... if only she could have been like that all the time... or at least 80% of it!

So I drank a bit too much on Wednesday and ended up in Clearwater Florida on a 61ft mega yacht, its been 4 weeks of nc for me, as much as I want to talk to her I know I can't. Does her watching the video I made count? Anyway she still haunts me, I see her name everywhere and songs we shared always seem to play, why won't my subconscious leave it alone?

We can't all be saints.

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
-Kurt Vonnegut

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller quotes

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
Mahatma Gandhi

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
Mahatma Gandhi

"Be not ashamed of mistakes and thus make them crimes."
Confucius

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop."
Confucius

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do."
Confucius

"Respect yourself and others will respect you."
Confucius

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it." ~Andre Gide

"Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow." ~Aesop

"Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." ~Ludwig Börne

"The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer." ~Edward R. Murrow (Be mindful of this one, it seems there is a value to it that you may one day hold, but not understand.)

"Sometimes it's necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly." ~Edward Albee

"To learn something new, take the path that you took yesterday." ~John Burroughs
(apart of being alone, maybe rediscovering yourself. It seems that to change who we are, we must first know who we are, forgive who we are, and love who we are. Perhaps then you may be who you are.)

"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." ~James Thurber
"Only a sith deals in absolute."- Ben kanobi

"The human mind is inspired enough when it comes to inventing horrors; it is when it tries to invent a Heaven that it shows itself cloddish." ~Evelyn Waugh

"Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly in us, but our emptiness. The hardest thing to hide is something that is not there." ~Eric Hoffer, Passionate State of Mind, 1955
(You may ponder this in connection to your ex, and your friend. First you must find it in yourself.)

"If I am not pleased with myself, but should wish to be other than I am, why should I think highly of the influences which have made me what I am?" ~John Lancaster Spalding

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Seek what they sought." ~Matsuo Basho
(I often ponder this in regards to christianity. Jesus was a wise man, and many follow him, but how many seek what he sought?)

"Believe nothing no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense."- Buddha

"Life is our's, we live it our way."- Nothing else matters by Metalica

"Wisedom is every where, we need only to listen."- Me

MAy peace and kindness be with you brother.

Nestorian...

Thank you for your many quotes of inspiration!