I have a disrespectful 22 year old daughter that is a junior in college. She still lives at home. When she gets angry or she doesn't like something that we say or do, she yells at us, uses the "F" word or tells us "screw you" and continues to yell and scream even after we tell her the conversation is over. We don't charge her rent or anything. She was paying for half her car payment but she quit her job so now we pay for everything, except we don't give her spending money. How do we handle her disrespect?

Practice tough love and give her her walking papers, onelady. And be firm. She should be doing whatever she does on her own at 22 and earning her own way for college.

Tick

Sounds like you have a braty girl that needs a little help. And I'm sorry but I'm not Thurston Howell but this sounds like a girl that needs a reality check. Now don't hate on me yet, she's being braty because she wants something that she's not getting. Figure out what it is and try to relate with her from your own youth. That and there's a small book. "get anyone to do anything you want." by David Lieberman, the tittle is deceiving because it's more a book about motivating people. And that sounds like what she needs. Don't let her know you're reading it or even have it.

WOW I'm 23 and I can't imagine treating my parents that way! But that's most likely because I got that all out of my system when I was 15! I have also been on my own since I was 16 (by choice not by force) She is spoiled.. Maybe she's acting that way because you baby her. STOP paying for her car for one! That is just telling her that it's OK for her to disrespect you you're still going to give her what she wants. Put your foot down and DEMAND respect and if she doesn't give it to you. Give her a little dose of the real world! You sound like awesome parents and you don't deserve that. Im definitely not giving you parenting advice but just as a person who believes big time in respecting my elders she needs to learn you have to give respect in order to get respect

I am 21 years old, a senior in college and also living with my parents. I am constantly grateful for everything they do for me. I pay for my own car, my own cell phone and the bill that goes along with it, all the clothes I buy, and EVERYTHING I do. Literally, the ONLY thing I do not pay for is school.
One question you may want to ask yourself is if you are giving her too much room to treat you that way. Although threatening her is not ALWAYS the best thing, if she is 22 years old and you are fitting the bill for everything she has, threaten to take away these things. At 22, although it is hard to let go of your children, she is no longer your financial responsibility. Something I have been taught and live by is "you have to give respect to get it"... so if she disrespects you, in YOUR home while you are supporting her, refuse to make her car payments. If I am every running low on money, I get another job, and make adjustments so that I can afford bills I need to pay and can still have money to have fun with.

My father told me, "if you ever don't have the money to go out, looks like your staying in." or... "if you can't make your car payment or pay for gas, looks like your not going anywhere."

Give her no choice but to get a job and pay for herself. If she uses bad language with you, threaten to kick her out. Sometimes you need to take a stand and demand respect.

I know it is hard to take advice on tis from a 21 year old girl... but I consider myself to have been raised very well.

Good luck.

You give her an ultimatum.
Either you stop treating us like we are here to serve you or your on your own.And mean it.
Remind her that you served your time and what you are giving her now comes from parental love and kindness.
Just because you gave her life does not mean you have to carry her for the rest of it.
I would also not do anything extra for her.Let her do her own laundry and dishes,etc. Let her get a taste of the real world without parents there to give all the time.

When I was 22, I would have been grateful to GO to college, but for a long time I worked to keep a roof and a full stomach. She is fortunate to have loving parents, but you are selling yourselves short. This is a classic case of babying a child too much. When she yells and screams, ignore her. Have you watched MTV? Yeah, full of girls getting their way by behaving like this. It's a sad truth of this generation, but it apparently works. Show some backbone woman! This kids need a dose of reality. We know you love her, but you got to take action for her benefit as well as yours. Granted, she might "hate" you for a while but that's only because she's a spoiled princess who gets her way. Real world: No job, no car. Take it off your insurance and tell her to do it herself. At this point in our economy, I can't see anyone being able to afford a payment to cover someone elses' butt, let alone who treats them like crap especially! You don't have to send her packing, but she is an ADULT. It ain't easy, you know it, I know it. Show her.

It sounds like you have spoiled your daughter terribly. If she treats you this way and quit her job, why would you take over her portion of the car payment? Maybe if you had refused, she would have gone out and found a new job. You are doing her no favors by allowing her to be so irresponsible. She will be in the real world soon and will be in for a rude awakening.

If I were you I would sit her down and tell her that she has a choice. She may continue to live under your roof so long as she 1. follows your rules, 2. treats all family members with respect, 3. contributes to household chores, 4. gets a job, 5. makes her own car payment.
OR she can move out at which time ALL money is cut off. No more tuition, no more car payment, no more cell phone, etc...

Your daughter is way too old to be acting this way. She needs a serious wake up call.

I know that all of the advice on here seems harsh and cutting her off financially is more difficult than it sounds. But it needs to be done regardless. I know that it will make you feel bad to cut her off and it is NOT going to be easy. Remember that. But if you don't do it now then 1 of 2 things will happen. 1. she will continue to live in your house, disrespect you, and use you for God knows how long or 2. when she finally is out on her own, she will not know what to do because she was not taught responsibility. Tough love is the best thing for you to do and she will learn from it, and appreciate and respect you more for doing it in the long run... everything can get better with time. GOOD LUCK and I wish you and your family the best.