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kaleena · Aug 23, 2006, 09:01 PM

I have a 14 year old son who refuses to spend any time alone with me, he says he is afraid of me even though I have never hurt him. His father has petitioned for sole custody and my son wants him to get that.
I am a good mother, imperfect perhaps and human, but how can a child that I carried, birthed, breast fed and loved for more than 14 years treat me worse than he would treat a stranger?
Hopeless, kaleena

phillysteakandcheese · Aug 24, 2006, 10:50 AM

I see two possibilities:

One – He may simply be using you as the stepping stone to get what he wants, which seems to be living full time with his father. Maybe he finds it easier or more fun living with Dad, so he's doing what he thinks will get him there as quickly as possible.

Two – He may genuinely be afraid of you because of something, or some pattern of behaviors, you don't recognize in yourself. Maybe you “loose it” and that behavior scares him.

Based on your post, it's hard to know which way your situation sways.

CaptainForest · Aug 24, 2006, 04:50 PM

I agree with Philly, there are 2 possible options here.

And at 14, the Judge will simply listen to your son and let your son choose where he wants to live.

That is of course that the father is a suitable parent.

kaleena · Aug 24, 2006, 06:10 PM

I am in agreement, living with his father is easier and more fun. At my house he has chores and responsibilities. His father just bought him a car etc. However the extreem mood swings and the changes in his personality are not good.
Does anyone know of a support group in the Pottstown area?
Kaleena

wizzkid89 · Aug 27, 2006, 05:22 PM

Honestly, I think a support group would fit you guys very well, because from the sign of it, your son needs a wakeup call. He needs to understand that life isn't a free ride, and that he can't try and use people to get it. I am afraid that even if you tried to help him, he wouldn't listen because I think he just wants to be at his dads and party all the time, so I would really encourage a support group, or maybe a family therapist for not only you and your son, but also the dad, because it seems that he might be behind this which in my mind is really low. I have the feeling that he might be trying to sabotage you, and that is something a family therapist could point in case this went to court. Good luck.

talaniman · Aug 27, 2006, 08:06 PM

Doesn't sound like you and your ex have presented a united front so he is going to his dad to do the things you don't let him do. Let dad have some responsibility and let him go live with him. He is the father so... take a break!

ausername · Jun 10, 2009, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Doesn't sound like you and your ex have presented a united front so he is going to his dad to do the things you don't let him do. Let dad have some responsibility and let him go live with him. He is the father so .............................take a break!

Agreed. The father needs some responsibility too. By the way, I bought all 7 of my kids corvettes at 15.