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    FelicityGood's Avatar
    FelicityGood Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 22, 2009, 06:37 PM
    I think my Boss may be interested in me
    I'm single and forty. My Boss is single and 48. I'm of medium height with a good figure and long blonde hair. I do a regular amount of sport.There is no restrictions on co workers dating here, nor is he in a position to fire me. Neither of us have children.
    I have never been good with men and lack confidence so I doubt myself when I think this guy likes me. I certainly like him, but it has been quite a gradual thing for me.
    I have looked up books and things but still I cannot fully decide. So I hope you can help me.
    We've worked in the same building for years and barely noticed each other.
    Then he asked my female friend out for coffee. She had a bit of a man eater reputation so she asked me along as beard. However I made a bit of an impression on him because he told her that I was very witty and amusing. She made sure I was never invited for coffee again. They never dated and she's married now.
    About 3 years ago I got promoted to the level below him so it was the first real chance we ever had to get to know each other. At the time I joked to a male coworker that I would have to get a report done on time to impress my boss. My co worker replied "oh I think you have impressed him already" I was too embarrassed to probe that one. Plus at the time I had no interest in him whatsoever.
    As we worked together he got friendly. He noticed I had trouble reading small print. He noticed I had a cold by saying that he didn't think I was my usual cheerful self.
    Anyway he asked me to do more work for him but my caseload was too heavy as I had another boss to work for as well. I told him I would do it if he could give some of my other cases to someone else. NOooo my other boss cried, (I'm very dilligent and she didn't want to lose me). I thought no more of it but within a year he had engineered it so that I was working primarily for him.
    He once joked in his office that being in there alone with him was doing wonders for his reputation. I joked (what else could I do?) that I could ruffle up my hair if he liked to heighten the illusion.
    Another time he asked was I here to brighten up his day, then he sighed that no I was just here to do my job.
    Comments like that got me wondering.
    Then he started raving about my new hairstlye, and did I always look like that or is it the hair and how I got it to look that way. He also constantly compliments my outfits. When I got the glasses he raved about them several times, how well they look on me.
    Then he askes me out for lunch sometimes alone, more often with a female colleague. Once he invited both of us out to view his home and land. He bought us lunch.
    He added me to his jokey email list.
    He touches me on the arm and back a lot. Once he hugged me and a male coworker simultaneously.
    He keeps praising my work to me and to our superiors. He makes sure I get the credit for what I have done and even recommended I go up a level in work the next time there are promotions.
    He has discovered that I have a knowledge of the cinema and so does he so now he tries me out to see if I like opera and music. He has offered to lend me dvds. He has already told me that I was among friends, implying that we are friends.
    He laughs at my jokes, he even rang my other exboss to tell her one in front of me.
    Some coworkers call him my coffee buddy and one or two think he's interested but to be honest they might just be gossiping. They might base this on nothing.Though at some December meetings he used to invite me to sit next to him and at one meeting my hand was resting on the table and he caught it at the wrist and squeezed it gently to get my attention in front of everyone.
    One time I bumped into him unexpectedly on the corridor and we were alone. He came up close and held both my elbows. I noticed my voice drop and I had the feeling he was going to kiss me. I was so nervous I couldn't think what to say. The next second he was off on his business. After a general meeting he came up to share his views on it. Another time at a general meeting he directed a question at me across the hall. This never happens at our meetings. Then one day the elderly janitor, (who is also his neighbour and friend) comes in kisses me on the cheek tells me to stay as beautiful as I am and laughs at my Boss who goes on about how if he did that there would be a lawsuit. As the janitor never kissed me before I reckoned he was teasing my boss but I'm only guessing. Oh and he also winks at me sometimes if he's on the phone and makes flirty jokes. I go for coffee with a married male coworker who is rather fond of me(all innocent) and this has not gone unnoticed by my boss who has told me that that man likes me.

    He calls me dear and darling etc, but he does that to a lot of people.
    I think all that stuff points to interest but then there are others that don't.
    He talks about an ex he had years ago that obviously broke his heart.
    He talks about other exs too but not by name, she is the one he wanted.
    Last August I had a meeting and he said I wish everyone was as easy as you (not in the sexual sense obviously) and he touched my shoulder as he went out to get me coffee. Great I thought that sounds promising. Then he comes back in a different mood and tells me he is spending the weekend with friends and there's one woman there he likes but he reckons he's more interested in her than vice versa. That hit me like a bucket of cold water.
    That week he's back as single as ever and laughs his head off at a throwaway comment I made.
    Some of these things he does to everyone.
    He does touch other people, he's a toucher.
    He also talks a lot, he tells people too much, but I think I'm the only person he confided in that he was finding it hard to cope with his job sometimes.
    He tells everyone that he hates holidaying alone. Everyone thinks that he is lonely.
    He teases me but he teases others too.
    He once cut a loose thread from my jacket. I think this might be a bit pernickety as he has plucked fluff off people in the past.
    He boasts a lot about his achievements and plans and financial woes.
    He reminds me of Frazier Crane, pompous but endearing and attractive.


    So I'm not sure but do you think he is interested?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Feb 22, 2009, 07:03 PM

    I will be honest, I did not read it all, but to a point, office romance seldom works, lets say you date for a few months, sleep together and then you break up. So now you have to see someone everyday that you can't stand, or he has to be reminded of something every time he sees you.

    Also most places have rules against bosses dating people they supervise, he is not a co worker if he is your boss, even if he can't directly fire you.
    FelicityGood's Avatar
    FelicityGood Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 22, 2009, 07:24 PM

    My brother has been married for fifteen years to a coworker.
    I just wanted to know if he was interested. I put a lot of effort into asking that question and I get an answer to a queation I didn't ask be someone who couldn't be bothered t oread the whole thing. I poured me heart out.
    Andrea09's Avatar
    Andrea09 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 30, 2009, 10:14 AM
    He likes you. I think, for whatever reason, he is holding back expressing it. Maybe he doesn't want to risk the good working relationship. If you are interested in him make the next move.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #5

    May 30, 2009, 10:24 AM

    I think he likes you too. I can see how this is a tricky situation since you work with him. From reading your thread I thought maybe when he said there was a woman he was interested that maybe he said that to see how you reacted, that maybe there was no other woman. But that's just me
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #6

    May 30, 2009, 10:25 AM

    I read the whole thing (and enjoyed the reading!).

    If there are no rules regarding dating coworkers or bosses, maybe go out for lunch or even dinner alone with him and explore possibilities. You're not getting any younger. (Your description of him has ME in love with him.)
    Andrea09's Avatar
    Andrea09 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Oct 23, 2009, 08:16 AM

    So tell us -- Did you make the next move?? Does he like you??

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