Originally Posted by s_cianci
For one, it sounds like you're trying to rush into things the minute you meet someone. You entered a 3-year relationship only 2 months after your divorce. How long did you know your husband before you married him? And how soon after meeting him did the two of you become serious? What kind of dating history do you have prior to meeting your husband? By your own admission you slept with your latest interest the first night you met him. It seems like you're falling for everyone and anyone. You're being way too available for these men ; you're not giving them the chance to pursue you at all. They figure they have you right where they want you and so they can treat you like a disposable washcloth. Back off, make them chase you and don't be so darned willing and available all the time. Do things for and with yourself, without a need for male companionship ; visit places you like, go to restaurants you like, take up a hobby or classes. Join a bowling league or dance club. Remember, you are your own best friend, whether there's any men in the picture or not. Make things happen for YOU. When it comes to relationships, YOU make the rules and the men play by your rules or they don't play at all. Don't let them drag you around, which I have a feeling you've been letting happen. This is not to say that you become mean or abusive but stand your ground. I think you'll be amazed at the results.
Thank you for that info. I do hear where you are coming from!
*I was married at the age of 20 because I became pregnant. I had just been raped by my "male best friend and class mate" (we were neighbors). I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I was raped and I had a one night stand with a guy at college that I knew from back home.
We thought we'd "do the right thing" and get married. The marriage lasted for 5 years. I ended the marriage because I was to the point where I couldn't even stand to look at him. He cheated on me with a co-worker. I was not in love with him so leaving him wasn't hard except for the fact that we had a child together (that was hard).
Going into this relationship after my marriage was the first time I ever fell in love with someone. I was not on the rebound. Things moved quickly and we (my daughter and I) moved in after 9 months of dating.
That relationship ended after 3 years. It has now been a little over 3 years since we broke up. I have not had and actual "date" with any guy. I guess these small town guys don't know what dating is. We always meet at the bars.
I having been going out and spending a lot (last 3 years) with my girlfriends. We go to movies, demo derby's, rodeos, bars, dance clubs, etc...