I have read your recent postings and this sounded so errily like what I went through several years ago. When he said he wanted to live elsewhere and you said fine, do that and he left and is now accusing you of throwing him out. My last boyfriend and I had just about the same conversation, word for word. I told him to spend a few days elsewhere - he's the one who said I threw him out. Either way, it was very hard for me emotionally as I was treated very similar to the way you were treated. One thing though I am glad to say, I never let him back into my life (even though he tried several times) and it's 4+ years now and I'm not sorry I "kicked him out" one bit.

Times will be hard now for you since you let him trick you into relying on him for money. If he took all of his things out of your apt and comes back and kicks in the door you can call the cops but since you were not there to see him do this, the cops can't do anything to him as you were not there and they won't just take your word that he did it without you being home. If you are home and he kicks in the door, that's a different story - call the cops and press charges against him.

Good luck and Merry Christmas from me.

He has brought out something in me that I didn't think anyone could possess. I have been brought to near psychotic behaviour... throwing things yelling at the top of my lungs totally flipping my lid and flipping right out of myself. He is rude sarcastic, overbearing and has constantly stated that he is going to live his own life. Why in the world is he even here? I have always been second to him

Meant was not is sorry

Oh the boyfriend I "threw out" was bi-polar. This sounds so much like your boyfriend it's scary. He may be undiagnosed, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts he's one as well. He has all the earmarks of one. You can rest assured that it was NEVER you being wrong, etc. It was HIM. One day I am sure he would wake up and be a wonderful person. Then the next day he would wake up and be Frankenstein wrecking the house and yelling for no reason. The bipolars are control freaks and they instinctively know how to manipulate a normal person's emotions and play them like a violin to THEIR advantage.

Please, no matter how lonely you get, please, please do not go back to him or let him back into your life as the next time it won't be that easy to get him out of your apt.

Why was he there? It's because he saw what an easily manipulated person you are/were and he wanted to have some "fun" with you. Don't try and figure him out or even take pity on the man as he more than likely does not understand himself and has no real "emotions" of his own. He hasn't a clue what love means either so don't beat yourself up over that topic. Yes, it's hard to believe that he conned you, but he did. They are quite good at conning anyone out of anything and he conned you out of a place to live even if he paid the bills (just his complaining about it was a real tip off to me).

I am actually feeling really lonely right now. I have felt this while he was here but now that he is gone I am feeling it more now then ever. I want to very much call him or go to where he is at. But I fear the worst. I feel my strength slipping and I am scared of it. He is what I have known for the last 4 years. He is who I looked to. Wanted to see and be with. This is very hard for me and I miss him terribly. Help

So what are you doing for yourself to stay busy and explore other things??

Here I am sick today. Sinus infection. Headache, hurting pretty good. Took something for the pain and finally I can at least see. Boyfriend left me like this. Unfortunately he left because he sold some "weed" and has to collect his $$. I got immediately upset because the $$ was more important than how I was feeling. I told him that I couldn't live like this anymore and that he needs to grow up. Yesterday he called for work with the excuse the car was broke down and then took off for 7 hours to go drinking with his friend. Totally blowing off the fact that the car would be ready and left the entire thing up to me. I tried telling him that I am tired of his drinking. I had to go through an addiction of meth with him already. Now its weed and alcohol. I said I can't do this anymore. I got terribly upset with him and he left in MY car to go get his $$. Telling his friend that I chased him out of the house? How can I chase him out of the house if he is already leaving?

Marriage would be great IF IF IF this man gave a hoot about your feelings, thoughts, and desires. He is a selfish jerk of a man and I say get your kids out from under his influence ASAP. Are you dependent on this man financially? If so, that tie will be hard enough to escape. For goodness sake, don't marry him, let alone have a child with him. You want your child's father to be THIS man?

For sure sitting and complaining will change nothing. Its an even bet that he does what he does because you put up with it. Either leave or stop complaining.

Sorry, but you and what you do about his bad behavior is your problem. Do nothing, (AS YOU HAVE BEEN ) and be miserable.

In ref to my post #28. I wrote this before I read all the older post. Bad habit. Sorry. I still stand by "don't marry him or have a child with him ever. You do not want to be linked to him in any legal way.
I'm so happy to see that you have begun to see him for what he is and you and your kids can have better. I don't know how old your kids are, if you get child support for them, if you have other family or friends to assist you, or what but somehow, get independent of him. Is the apt in his name or yours, or both. If his name is on the lease, you get work and move out asap. If your name is on the lease, kick him out for good. Just sit his things outside the door. If he starts to harrass you, get police involved and document everything. I'm happy that you see him for the jerk that he is and that he adds nothing to your life, he only takes away. Check back in with us from time to time and I know all of us will be happy to cheer you on and lend support or advice. YOU GO GIRL!!

I was at a friends today... and I told her that I can't honestly think of any reason why I love this man. I actually told her I don't think I do. He didn't come home last night and worst of all he has my car. I was going to drive the hour and 15 minutes to his work and get it but I have no money to put gas in the vehicle he left me with. I can't tolerate this behavior anymore. I have given and given so much and all he ever does is take. He gets so drunk that he complains he is sick and expects me to wait on him hand and foot.
I keep falling victim to him saying things like... "Honey, I am so sorry for what I did, I really love you". I get drawn right back in thinking it will change this time. I am scared really. He is a ticking time bomb and I am being blamed for him blowing up every time. I can't breathe without fearing it will set him off. I believe he has a disorder NPD... Narsissitic Personality disorder. I was reading up on this and he fits more than most of the questions they asked. I do rely on him financially right now. So I also fear not being able to make it right now with out his income. I am right now lost and feeling very alone. How can anyone do this to another human being? It hurts so much!

Well, the first step is recognising there is a problem... you've just taken that first step.

OK, Now that I recognize it. How do I handle it from here? I want him to know that I can't tolerate this treatment anymore. But I don't want to lose him either. Sad, I know but its true. What do you suggest?

Not following?

This was the post that I mistyped in sorry if I confused you cozyk

Maybe you can not afford to move out right now, but you can afford to behave in a way that dignifies YOURSELF. First, quit thinking you are going to lose him. You don't have him. That train already left the station. I don't think you "love him" either. I think you are addicted to him, like you need his attention to make your existence worth while. You don't. You are a person in your own right. No body can treat you better than you have the ability to treat yourself..

Is your car, really YOUR car or just the one that you drive. If it is your car, forbid him from it and if he takes it without your permission, call the police. That is theft. Don't go out of your way to be Ms. Bad A$$ but where you have rights, make sure you take them. I hope you do not wait on him hand and foot when he is sick from being drunk. You have neglected yourself way too long and to cater to his self made illness is not your job. If he was honestly sick, you should do what you can to help because that is what self respecting nice people do. Self induced?? Sorry Charlie, you are on your own.

This is a time to make WISE decisions. Carefully think out what you are going to do. Save your money, prepare to leave, don't waste your money on him for any reason. If you had put gas in that car to drive 1 hour 15 min to just get your car, you would have wasted your time and money. So, I'm glad you were not able to do that. When you get your car back, take all your keys and hide them. I don't know if he is abusive physically or not, but it would not be a bad idea to have an emergency bag packed with an extra car key in it, in case he takes your key from you physically. Also, have a back up plan as to where to go in an emergency.

You have no reason to apologize to him for anything and to tell him "Honey, I love you" should not come out of your mouth. It just disrespects your own self even more. I know what I'm saying is harsh and hurtful but I just feel so strongly that I want better for a fellow human, that I need to be perfectly clear. I feel your pain. I really do. I don't think there is one of us that doesn't know how it feels to be scared, worried, hurt, lonely or depressed. YOU WILL SURVIVE and you will learn, and you will be surprised at what you can achieve. Show yourself what you are made of and then revel in the glory.
You are not all alone, we are here as your sounding board and hopefully to: help you hold your head high and do what you need to do. I don't know how someone could treat another so badly either but you know what? Doesn't matter. It is what it is, and you don't have to deal with it, you just have to deal with you. And there lies your power.:)

First... Find yourself a job if you don't have one yet... The time has come to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and work on getting an income so you can move out on your own... If you stay in this situation then you deserve what you get. You've already seen what he's like... don't expect him to change. Not everyone is a good match for just anyone. That's a fact of life.

If you have to find another woman to be roommates with because of your local cost of living and share rent then do so... but take some charge of your life and even if it means a change in lifestyle then so be it.

Start standing on your own two feet, as your dependent on him, so you take all his BS.

Change that first, now go get your independence.

It is my car. My name is on this apartment as well. But regardless of the name on the lease. I would leave here with nothing but my kids and myself then have to suffer another moment like this. He is not abusive physically. However, I have feared that in him. He talks the talk mostly. Something I have always brought to his attention. Not to threaten. I would much rather be beaten then go through this emotional mess. Sad to say but physical pain goes away. Emotional stays with you forever.

And why didn't he come home last night?

Does he think it's a form of punishment?

I did nothing wrong. I tried to convince him to stay with me because I was sick. He got upset thinking I was trying to keep him from doing what he wanted to do. I chased him away he says. How did I do that?